4.3

Subaru bit down hard on the words, ground them with his teeth, and swallowed them. He stopped for several seconds as they passed down his throat, into his stomach, and finally flowed through his veins to his brain.

Beatrice raised her eyebrows in surprise at Subaru's reaction, apparently far more silent than she'd anticipated.

"I suppose you are less agitated than I expected. I thought you would be crying like a baby by now."

Beatrice still had that look on her face when Subaru raised his right hand before her, showing her a pair of raised fingers.

"Okay. There are two possibilities I can think of here."

Subaru bent down one of his raised fingers as Beatrice stood silently before him.

"First, this is graveyard humor, a really awful joke. Put bluntly, this really isn't funny, so…if you're gonna bring out a wooden sign that says FOOLED YA! and laugh, go ahead, now's the time."

He closed one eye in an attempt to lighten the mood, but Beatrice's expression went unchanged.

With Beatrice saying nothing before him, Subaru folded the second finger.

"If it's not a joke, there's only one possibility: The curse hasn't been lifted yet."

Beatrice folded her arms as if to lend support to Subaru's hypothesis.

This was the result of white scars from demon beast bites covering his entire body. They still throbbed as Subaru looked at them in a new, ominous light.

"I'll ask just to make sure. You can't lift the curse? You're not holding out on me here?"

He didn't think Beatrice would say, No one asked me to, so I will not, but he wanted to ask just in case some sliver of hope remained.

Naturally, Beatrice replied to his question with a shake of her head.

"If it was something I could remove, would it put you eternally in my debt, I wonder?"

"Hey, give me a break here. I'm already up to my eyeballs in debt to you!"

He couldn't repay her for even a smidgeon of it, not last time, not the time before that, not this time, either. Not in that world.

Subaru's reminiscing brought a suspicious look from Beatrice, but he papered things over with a hand wave.

"Mind if I ask why you can't lift the curse?"

"…I suppose you should at least know how you shall pass on. It is a simple tale. There are too many layers of curses, making the curses too complex to lift."

"…Curses have layers?"

Subaru pondered, trying to come up with an image. Beatrice spread both hands apart. Suddenly, the two hands were connected together by a red string.

"A curse is like this red string, I wonder?"

Beatrice took the string she held on each end and tied a knot with it.

"This knot is a curse rite. I suppose lifting a curse is as simple as undoing this knot. But…"

With a deft motion of her fingers, Beatrice increased the number of strings between her hands. The new strings were blue, yellow, green, pink, black, and white. She entwined the new strings into knots and tied the knots into one another.

"If it is only one curse, it can be undone. But if you mix more of them together like this…"

Beatrice held out both hands, offering the knots to him. Subaru slid a hand into the tangle. The string, connecting finger to finger, offered no sign of how it might be unraveled.

"If the curse is like this, too… Aw, crap, yeah, that's a high difficulty level there."

Even if one or two could be removed, at some point it would be impossible to know what should be touched. Of course, given sufficient time, it was probably possible to undo the whole thing, but…

"You said it's set for under half a day from now. What do you figure happens then?"

"I suppose that part is rather simple. In half a day, the demon beasts' rite to seize your mana will activate."

Beatrice raised a finger and pointed it at Subaru as she continued.

"Would the curse's purpose be to drain your mana, I wonder? Its aim is to absorb fuel for the creature's body… In other words, you are the demon beasts' prey."

"So they attack people when they're hungry? That's a wild animal for you—keeps things simple. I suppose I should be grateful their bellies weren't empty before now."

Subaru wanted to lash out and hit something, but unfortunately, his hand was buried in the string. Beatrice watched Subaru glare at the string as he spoke resentful words before she replied.

"Are you not afraid, I wonder?"

"Huh?"

"From your point of view, what I have said is a death sentence. Also, even though Puckie and I have the means to save you, we cannot because there is no time for it."

Optimistically, Subaru had twelve hours left to live. Depending on how hungry the demon beasts were, even that time might be shortened.

Having informed Subaru of the fact that he could not be saved, Beatrice waited for Subaru's reaction. Subaru belatedly thought that Beatrice seemed to want something.

"What's with you—? You want me to blame you here?"

"—"

Beatrice didn't deny it. But she didn't agree, either. Since Beatrice chose silence, Subaru couldn't know what was going on inside her, but he made a pained smile anyway.

"Maybe your and Puck's decision feels a bit inhumane, but it's the natural, logical choice. The risk and effort involved are too much. You two are right. I don't think it's heartless at all."

He really believed that. It wasn't just because he was thinking long-term about his life. Hence—

"—I wanted to ask you something else, though. Do you mind?"

"…What is it, I wonder?"

"Does Emilia know that I'm still cursed?"

That very moment, Emilia was still sleeping in that room, having healed and nursed him to exhaustion.

If Puck and Beatrice had given up, he wondered how Emilia took it. Had Emilia abandoned him, too? That was the one thing tugging at him.

"The mixed-blood girl does not know. I suppose Puckie is not attempting to lift your curse to hide its existence from the girl?"

"…Ah, I see. If Puck starts working on it, Emilia will be able to tell. She'd probably pick up on the fact that my being cursed like this means the chances of saving me are pretty slim, too."

When Puck had realized he couldn't save Subaru, his concern had shifted to Emilia. If he kept his silence until the curse activated, Emilia's heart would bear only the wound of his death. For Puck, who prioritized Emilia above all else, it was a good and wise decision. Puck was tougher than he looked; Subaru had to accept his judgment.

"That aside…"

Subaru switched the subject as he pointed a finger at Beatrice. Beatrice raised her eyebrows, looking at the finger pointed at her, as Subaru declared:

"You don't look malicious enough to go through all this trouble just to hand down a death sentence to me."

"…What do you know of me, I wonder?"

"At the very least, enough that it feels like I know you four times as long as you think I do."

Subaru saw the creases on the girl's forehead deepen further as Subaru's last two weeks flashed before his eyes.

His relations with Ram and Rem were as good as they'd been since the first loop. Putting aside the lap pillow, things were A-OK with Emilia. Now he knew the identity of the shaman, the source of all his ills, and the children's lives had been saved.

Looking back on the previous loops he'd gone through, this one was near full marks. It would count as the best by far if only Subaru could live through it.

"You, Rem, and Emilia healed my wounds, right? That's not the way you treat someone you figure is a goner from a curse and can't be saved."

He felt Beatrice waver. Subaru laughed at how the girl just refused to be upfront.

"Man, you suck at lying."

"It is a fact that the odds of your being saved are incredibly low. I suppose that is why Puckie did not want the girl to have anything to do with it?"

"So that's why you're playing the villain to soak up all my anger. That's way too roundabout for a little girl. So would you tell me about that really-low-odds possibility?"

He formed a circle with his index finger and thumb, showing it to Beatrice in search of a reply.

Beatrice hesitated for a while before sighing in resignation.

"Do you remember when I explained about curses, I wonder? I said there is no way to stop a curse once it has been activated."

Beatrice's words seemed off.

"Yeah, you did say that. That's why it had to be lifted before it activ—No, wait. The premise is all wrong. If that's the case, then…how'd the kids get saved?"

Subaru thought hard, unable to square that knowledge with the available facts.

According to Beatrice, lifting a curse succeeded only against a rite that had not yet been activated. The fact that there was no way to stop it after it had been activated was what made it such a scary thing.

The children they'd found in the forest were debilitated. He was certain that the demon beasts' curses had activated. So the reason the children were alive was—

As deductions formed in his mind, a possibility emerged that struck him like lightning.

Subaru lifted his face, turned toward Beatrice, and asked, "What happens to the curse if the caster dies?"

"A normal curse would continue to take effect. But isn't this rite for eating, I wonder? If the eater loses his life, the feeding would logically cease midway."

Beatrice's affirmation rang true to Subaru.

The curses on the children had progressed no further because the demon beasts that had inflicted them had perished. Upon the caster's death, the curse reverted to a simple rite that Beatrice could lift without difficulty.

The night before, a considerable number of demon beasts must have lost their lives. If the individuals that had inflicted the curses on the children had been among them, that supported his deduction.

And that certainty simultaneously gave rise to a new question.

"So that's what it is. There were so many who put curses on me, some are still out there."

Subaru looked over his shoulder at the forest in which the demon beasts dwelled.

His entire body had been battered by the countless fangs of the demon beasts pursuing him. If each and every bite inflicted a curse, there was no way to know how many Subaru carried. More than that, taking out every single monster in less than half a day didn't seem realistic.

That's why Puck and Beatrice had dug in their heels, refusing to tell Emilia the truth.

"Puckie was…"

"You don't need to say it. I know how Emilia is… If she knew, she'd probably try something crazy. That makes me real happy…and also real scared."

Emilia didn't hesitate to help others, even if it hurt her. That was why Subaru didn't consider asking Emilia for help. He didn't want to even think about it.

After all, if by some chance he did lose Emilia right before his eyes, ripping his own body apart a hundred times over wouldn't come close to the pain he would feel.

"The degree of difficulty's totally demonic. Not totally impossible but still crazy. Gotta just give u—"

Are you giving up, then?

Subaru was about to complete the word when the voice emerged from the back of his mind. It was a delicate voice, like a collection of fragments of noise echoing in his subconscious.

He gasped, lifted his face up, and looked all around.

But there was no one there, except for Beatrice and him. Still, the voice continued.

Is there another way to save him? it asked, searching for something to cling to. But somehow the voice was imbued with sorrowful resolve.

"Do you have a headache, I wonder? That is to be expected."

Only that, I wonder? You should do as you please, then.

The Beatrice before his eyes spoke, her words overlapping the different ones she had spoken elsewhere. He didn't know when or where he'd heard them. But the conversation he'd heard somewhere jostled around in his head.

His field of vision narrowed as a ringing echoed like a warning bell. Before he knew it, he began to fall to his knees—

—I will save him.

The voice, echoing with iron resolve, jolted his knees back up. Subaru knew that voice. He knew whose it was and when he had heard it.

"Where…is Rem?"

Subaru hadn't seen the blue-haired girl anywhere that morning. He'd heard she had returned to the village with him, safe and sound.

Beatrice stood silent. Subaru closed the distance and asked her.

"Beako… Beatrice. Where…is Rem?"

"If you were in her shoes, what would you do, I wonder?"

"That's not an answer!!"

Her self-important, roundabout reply made him shout, which in turn made him bend over. His anemic body wavered; Subaru rocked as he looked back on his own actions.

He wanted to tear someone limb from limb. And here was Beatrice, standing there to be blasted by his emotions. He couldn't even manage annoyance with his own wretchedness in behaving exactly as she had expected.

And then…

"I cannot disregard what I heard just now."

Quietly, the emotion in her voice suppressed, Ram walked between Subaru and Beatrice. Looking back, he realized that the pink-haired maid had walked over from the direction of the village square.

"Ram…"

When Subaru called out her name, Ram looked back. The sheer coldness of her gaze made Subaru's breath catch.

He'd somehow imagined as much, but this was the Ram who had cried out in hatred during the loop she'd lost Rem. With the person she loved most, her little sister, in danger, would Ram come to hate everything like she had then…?

"—"

Just when he thought that, Subaru realized it.

The hands Ram held crossed in front of her were shaking a little. She was biting her lip to preserve her neutral expression, desperately trying to keep her emotions off her face.

"My Clairvoyance cannot locate Rem… Lady Beatrice…where is Rem?"

"All I did was present possibilities. Puckie and I do not have sufficient reason to act. Our choices are limited, I wonder?"

"That's not it, is it…? So Rem really did go to…?"

—She went into the forest with the intention of wiping out the entire pack that lived there…by herself.

All to save Subaru Natsuki.

"Why…? Why would Rem go that far for my sake…?!"

Rem had previously taken Subaru's life with her own hands. Even if the relationship between them was better than before, he didn't think they had a connection that made her think his life was worth saving at the risk of her own.

Subaru was having a hard time digesting Rem's decision, when he saw the dramatic reaction in Ram as she stood beside him. In an instant, her expression of grief hardened into determination; she turned toward the forest, ready to run after her little sister without any hesitation.

"—Wait!"

Subaru instantly leaped in front of Ram, spreading his arms wide to block her path.

His demeanor earned him a sharp glare from Ram.

"Move aside, Barusu. I have no time to spare, so I cannot be gentle with you."

"You can't just go without thinking! I've got a bunch of things I have to ask you, and I want honest answers."

"There is no time for anything like—"

"I wanna save Rem, too. If you think of me as one of you at all, listen to me. I want to raise the odds here, even a little."

Hearing that this was about saving Rem, Ram's hard posture wavered just a bit. Subaru, seeing Ram's hesitation, raised a finger into the air.

"There are just two things I wanna ask. Will you be able to tell where Rem is with your Clairvoyance?"

"…Yes, I will. Once I am past the forest barrier, she will be within range of my Clairvoyance. With my vision set on 'Beings on the same wavelength as Ram,' if she is in range, I will find her."

"Different fields of vision to see through, huh…? It's like checking on different security cameras in a monitor room. Anyway, if we can use that to link up with Rem, great."

Nodding at the first condition being cleared, Subaru raised a second finger for question number two.

"So, second question: Ram, are you the type of maid who can fight?"

"…What do you mean by that question?"

As Ram narrowed her eyes, Subaru slumped his shoulders.

"Well, um…until we hook up with Rem, there's no telling how many demon beasts we'll run into. If we can't protect ourselves, this plan isn't going anywhere. Just so you know, I'm total deadweight in combat."

"W-wait a moment. Barusu, you intend to come with me…?"

How Subaru so confidently expressed his own shortcomings brought a rare nervous look over Ram.

"I know that threw you off, but it's mandatory, right? Er, to be honest, if the goal's just making sure Rem's safe, then you don't really need me, but…"

Ram looked even more doubtful as Subaru's line fizzled out. Seeing her expression, he hastily waved a hand.

"I've gotta make it to the fifth day with everyone. That's what I've been fighting for over and over. So please, let me do this."

Seeing Subaru bring both hands together in supplication, Ram's lips trembled as if she was at a loss for what to say. But in the end, it was not words that brought an end to that but a sigh.

"If you expect me to fight as well as Rem's horned form, you hope in vain."

"Meaning?"

"Unlike Rem, I am hornless. I can use somewhat violent wind magic, but that is about all."

As she replied, Ram twirled a finger and made Subaru's hair sway with a gust of wind.

If she'd used that magic to interfere with nature more violently just then, she could have sliced off Subaru's right leg or gouged out his throat. The thought of it sent a chill up his spine.

But he couldn't ask for anyone more reliable to have on his side of the fight.

"Beatrice! Ram and I are heading into the forest. If Emilia wakes up before we're back, pull the wool over her eyes, okay?"

"…To bring the younger sister back is to abandon your own life. Do you understand that, I wonder?"

Subaru wagged a finger in response to Beatrice quietly questioning his resolve.

"That's a little off, so let me correct you. I'm not giving up as if I'm used to dying. Life is precious, and you have only one. I know you've all worked desperately to save mine. That's why I'm gonna fight for it, even if it looks ugly."

They'd saved a life he had once thrown away when he thought all was lost. It was because so many people had reached out to Subaru that he could do this.

It was only thanks to them that he'd made it to extra innings.

"We'll turn this thing around. It was real awful before, but we still got things this far. I'm doing this because I want to see myself in the sequel… I'm greedy like that."

It was a stupid reason with no legitimate explanation.

It wasn't a direct answer to Beatrice's question at all, but Subaru puffed his chest out to her nonetheless.

"I have no idea what you are thinking whatsoever… I suppose you should just do what you like? I have presented choices. I suppose it is up to you to select whichever choice you prefer."

"And that's how you sent Rem off, huh? Still…thanks, Beako."

He headed toward the forest, his thoughts turning to Rem, fighting within its dark depths even now.

She was a high-maintenance girl who had run off without a word, assuming how others would feel and coming to a hasty, arbitrary decision. Silly and stubborn.

"I mean, geez, I want to help you at least as much as you want to help me here."

He cracked his fist to harden his resolve, heading toward the demon beasts' forest as he made his declaration—a declaration of war against the pack of black beasts that dwelled within, and against the supernatural force that had dragged Subaru into this destiny, just in case it was forgetting about him.

"All right, it's time for the championship bout. Mr. Fate? Game on!"