I flip houses by saying I was there (Rewrite)

Not knowing what to do I descended into a hopeless slog. The sights around me became vague stuttering images with no meaning. Everything grew slightly blue.

~I'm not going to be able to pay off my debt. I need a money sage.~

Is had been two days. And I still was no closer to finding a money sage. Luckily my extreme debt paid for my room and board.

Eventually, after todays immemorial period of hopeless wandering, I reached a meadow that was completely filled with chunks of pure iron. In this meadow, there was a small box about one metre by one metre made from pink twitching muscle.

"What…. What the fuck." I said this was a sight that defied human comprehension. A box made purely from muscle. Or I guess if your pedantic flesh. Either way, there should not have been a box like that. Or at least that's what my common sense was telling me.

Not only that, the box spoke.

"GAINS! GREAT GAINS! I BESEECH THEE! GRANT ME A MUSCLE TEARING SET!"

The muscles squirmed and twitched and morphed as spurts of blood flew out of them.

Then next thing I knew. A man stood before me. He was so jacked that his pecs and neck completely covered his face. He looked like one of those guys that injected synthol. He walked over to what looked like a metal handle welded into the ground and grabbed onto it.

And then the words started.

"I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!"

His eyes grew red and veins began to spiral around his pupils. I heard the sound of his joints cracking and his heart thumping. As he bit his lip. Blood poured down his mouth.

The earth began to shake.

"I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!"

Tuffs of dirt and grass jumped into the air as flecks of silver were revealed underneath the grass.

"I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!I'MSTRONG!"

A jubilant grin appeared on his face, it was a smile so wide that I could see to the very top of his gums. But most importantly it was a smile filled with joy.

"STROOOOONG!"

Grass and dirt flew into my face filling my vision with darkness for a moment.

As the grass fell I saw something that almost made me vomit from the impossibility of it. Above the man's head was a massive sphere of silver the size of a small apartment building.

He still had that same ugly grin on his face. This was something that even in the wacky genetically engineered paradise that I had lived in I had never seen before. It defied the basic concept of mass. Someone should never be able to lift something ten times there weight. But still despite that. Here it was.

"Haaaaaaaaa."

With a sigh, he dropped the weight. It clattered to the ground with such force that a large mushroom cloud of dust and dirt was made around the man.

"Damn. I'm weak." He said. As his muscle deflated.

"How stupid." His head snapped in my direction, his eyes possessing a laser-like precision.

"Are you here for my services?" He said his gaze held so much ferocity that it almost seemed like he was trying to stare through me.

Okay. Picture this. A naked jacked man looks at you with maximum eye contact and askes if you're here for his services.

What do you immdently assume?

"Sorry but I'm not into men." I said. His gaze really seemed to hold some kind of sexual vigour. Such intensity. I hoped that one day a woman would look at me that way.

"HAHAhahahaha! Like I have the looks for that profession!!! I mean, are you here for my money-measuring services? I didn't get my preisthood just to become a prostitute."

I squinted at him. ~Money measuring. Oh like the money sages that, that thing talked about.~

"So you're like a money sage then?" I asked him.

"Yes, that's exactly what I am." He responded

"Then that's what I'm here for. I need you to measure the price of ores. Follow me." I spun on the ball of my feet and started to walk in the opposite direction of the massive silver sphere.

"Wait." Said the man. "Aren't you that guy who the speech that the king had the whole capital listen to?" Asked the man.

"Yes. That's me."

He appeared in front of me with a woosh. He was about a foot and a half shorter than I remembered him being and looked slightly chubby.

He extended a hand.

"Okay then. My names Craig. Nice to meet you. I'll be happy to work with you." He said as I looked suspiciously at his hand.

~Do they have handshakes here too? Well. No sense worrying about it. Let's find out.~

I reached out, grabbed his hand and clasped it.

"My name's Greg. And you're either going to help me go rich or go bankrupt."

How does one go rich you ask? Simple. Just become the Goat like me.

He grinned.

"That's the same with all my clients sadly. I take a 10% cut of the profits. So it's in my best interest that you go rich. With that noted tell me what are the plans of a man special enough to get recognized by the king?"

I grinned.

.....

"Really! Those are your plans! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" Craig proclaimed. I just gave him an even bigger grin.

"Trust me. I have the opportunity to build a brand. And it's all about the brand at the end of the day." I told him.

"THE BRAND! THIS IS LIKE A HOUSE FLIPPING BUSINESS BUT INSTEAD OF FLIPPING HOUSE YOU JUST GO TO THE HOUSE AND WRITE YOUR NAME ON IT BEFORE SELLING IT FOR A HIGHER PRICE!"

My grin widened.

"I'm famous though so this will work."

"Haaaaaa. Your not that famous."

I gestured to my face.

"But I have a famous face. So I'm chilling."

And without further ado, we set out to begin step one. Me and Craig. The dream team.