Chapter 1: A Mistake
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"Fuck no!"
I ignored the notification at the top of my vision for the hundredth time. Probably should have tried it, considering my impending demise, but hey, I was an idiot being chased by some goddamn Lovecraftian creature. I didn't have much time to think about anything else besides running.
My gaze swung to the thing a few meters away. It had no face. No eyes. Not even a mouth. Just a wriggling mass of something in between sewer water and digested jello. To top it off, the damned thing was the same size—no, 𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘳, than a human baby.
And then it was gone.
My legs stopped moving.
𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦?
𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘵?!
I swerved left, right. Nothing. Only endless forest.
Fuck. Fuck!
I cradled my head, hands shaking uncontrollably.
Blinked. I had only 𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘦𝘥, damn it! How long did that even take? A second? Milliseconds? Where could it have gone in that time? Where in the fuck could it have disappeared to?!
I glanced down, catching a glimpse of my trembling feet. Underneath were my sandals. Next to them were shadows. Grass. Dirt. Leav—
Wait.
𝘚𝘩𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘴?
My blood froze. I stared at my shadow—perfectly still—and then at the one next to it, in the shape of an elongated circle. It was about as large as my head. Almost looked as if it was—
My eyes widened.
As if it was 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨.
I looked up.
"What the fuck, what the fuck, what the FUCK—"
Splat.
That was my first death.
— 𝘈 𝘧𝘦𝘸 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘳
"Mom, are you getting out soon?"
"They're just doing a few more tests to be careful, especially with all that's going on. Today or tomorrow, I'll be able to go home, if all goes well."
I let out the breath I'd been holding.
"O-okay! Call me right away when you find out."
"I will."
She gave a slight chuckle, but it didn't hide the fatigue in her voice. The exhaustion. Years of abuse and drugs did that to people.
I bit my lip.
"H-hey mom, I-"
"I miss you son."
My words stopped in their tracks.
"I-I miss you too mom."
A moment of silence passed before either of us spoke again. I wished it never did.
"Alright, I've got to go now, but I'll see you soon, okay?"
"Oh. Okay."
"Oh, and do let . . . ah, what's her name again?"
"A-Axela?"
"Yes, Axela! Let her know that I'm so grateful for her keeping you company. I know it must be tough on you both, especially with all of this happening in your senior year."
"Mmh, I'll tell her."
I said, the sudden taste of metal on my tongue.
"Okay, stay safe. Make sure to eat, alright? Don't be on the computer for too long, and get some fresh air once in a while!"
I murmured another affirmation, and all too soon she was gone. I was alone again. With a sigh, I dropped my phone on the wooden table in front of me, next to my 𝒢𝐸𝐿𝐿laptop.
A self-deprecating smile grew on my face.
"Sorry mom. I lied again."
I hadn't talked to Axela in what? Days? Weeks? Months? Who goddamn knew anymore? Hell, what was even the date today?
I cursed under my breath, staring listlessly at the empty walls across the table. The coarse white paint was beginning to peel off, something made obvious by the fact that there was nothing to cover them up. No hanging pictures, no frames, nothing sharp or blunt. Just empty and dull, like the rest of this house. Like me.
𝘚𝘭𝘢𝘮.
My fist shook the table, something I soon regretted when my right hand ballooned into a swollen chunk of hot iron. I hissed.
"Fuck."
I dropped my head on the table, wrapping myself in my arms. A small, tiny whisper croaked from my mouth, the words scratching my throat like a razor.
"Where are you?"
"Please. Please, just respond once."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
My voice grew quieter with every word, until the only sound I could hear was that of my own shallow breaths. Unable to handle the deafening noise, I looked back up and glanced at the screen of my laptop. A black-haired man with glasses stared back, his eyes rimmed red and face paler than a sheet. Like a vampire. Cold and unfeeling. Heartless. It laughed.
"𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵? 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘦𝘭?"
"I didn't mean to!"
"𝘠𝘦𝘴, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘪𝘥."
"N-No, I didn't! She's my best friend, I—"
"𝘉𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴? 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦. 𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘪-"
"Shut. Up!" I growled. My fists gripped the table, about to swell again. "She's perfectly fine. She's fine. She's fine!"
I yelled at the top of my lungs, and the voice left in a fit of laughter. Despite that, the reflection remained. A teary-eyed kid of barely eighteen, a kid that looked smaller and smaller by the second.
𝘋𝘪𝘯𝘨.
My phone lit up. I looked at the notification.
𝘐 𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘔𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘵 𝘶𝘱 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘳. 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘔𝘰𝘮
I wiped the tears away, unable to prevent a small smile from settling on my lips. That smile disappeared as I noticed the date.
May 16, 2020
Fuck.
It had already been two months? How? 𝘏𝘰𝘸?! Did . . . did something really happen? Was she—no, no, it couldn't be. It couldn't be. R-Right?
I shook my head, curling my fists up again.
Damn it, if she was still angry, then fine! She could stay angry at me for the rest of her life! I just . . . I just needed to know. I needed to know if she was okay. Just one text. One sign. God, anythi—
A sudden flash of sunlight blinded me. I winced for a second before looking back and following its trajectory. My gaze peered past the white-stained hallway, locking onto the bathroom door covered in warm sunlight.
The memories began to replay in my mind.
Two months ago. Two months ago everything had changed. I'd cried on the bathroom floor, wishing that everything was just some long fever dream. The novel coronavirus. The lockdowns. The end of the world—or at least, what seemed like it. For me, it 𝘸𝘢𝘴. I'd been looking forward to moving out for years. Took two part-time jobs to save up for the plane ticket. Now? The flight was canceled. Graduation moved online. My college wasn't even sure if they were opening for the fall semester. Maybe they never would. The world had been fucked and my life along with it. Meanwhile, she had just joked around, chuckling about how "amazing" the new break was.
I sighed.
Yeah, she was my best friend. But that didn't stop me from feeling . . . well, shitty. How could she be so carefree? So unworried? Didn't she realize how much of a big deal it was? I knew it wasn't fair for me to think that way, but I was bitter. Angry. And, unfortunately, there was nothing else at the time for my anger to direct itself to except . . . except her. And so, on that afternoon two months ago, I made a terrible mistake. I said something I never should've said. Something I wished I could take back.
. . .
"S-So, what are you planning to do?"
"I'll probably try to find some work online or something. Get started on making a portfolio and stuff."
"Oh. T-that sounds good. I'm gonna try to finally finish Kingdom Hearts III. I finally have time now! Oh yeah, I'm also thinking of trying out this other game too. I've heard it's like Minecraft, and it's also m-multiplayer!"
The face on my phone smiled slightly, biting her lip. I hadn't noticed then, too busy trying to hide my disappointment.
"You know, I can't really see the appeal in them."
"I-In what?"
"Games. Why waste time playing some fictitious reality when people already have enough to shit to deal with? I mean look at what's happening now. People are dying. Life's too short to waste."
The look on her face had been as if I'd killed her firstborn child.
"I-I can't believe you just said that." Her voice shook, like a glass on the verge of breaking. "For a lot of people, games are a way for those who need a safe place away from reality. I thought you of all people wou-"
"It's just running away."
God, I had immediately regretted saying it.
". . ."
The glass cracked.
"Y-you're an asshole, Yohan."
𝘉𝘦𝘦𝘱.
That was the last time I heard from her. I had simply stared at my phone then, the image of her tear-stricken face burned into my mind. God, how could I have been so stupid?
The memories slowly drifted away.
"I screwed up big time, didn't I?" I murmured, unable to stop myself from sighing again.
Now, look, I may be an idiot, but I wasn't a douchebag. That same day, I had called her back to apologize. She didn't answer. My messages were ignored. Emails unread. What else could I do? After all, I couldn't even go to her house. Her parents? Yeah, 𝘯𝘰. I didn't even know their numbers, but even if I did, I wouldn't call them. Friends? I was the only one she hung out with—to my knowledge. It was the same for me. She had been my only friend. My best friend.
And so, just like that, two months passed by without a single word from her. God, how I wished I could turn back time. Hell, didn't everybody? But, unfortunately, I couldn't reverse time. No one could.
I sighed again, turning on my laptop and opening a new browser. The familiar UTube page popped up, and I clicked on the first video I saw, something I'd done far too many times to count.
𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘤.
Here I was, stuck doing exactly what I had warned her not to do. Wasting my life away. I was such a damn hypocrite.
"Fuck."
I closed the cat video and opened a different window. A con-rod icon opened up, and I sighed.
. . . 𝘒𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩, 𝘩𝘶𝘩.
Yesterday, I finally downloaded 𝘝𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘮. I remembered the countless times she had tried to convince me to try it out. I had always promised to do so, though never got around to doing it till now—when she was no longer around. A foolish decision, considering I've absolutely no idea where to start. God, how I wished I could delve into another world just as she did so easily—
𝘋𝘪𝘯𝘨.
I glanced at my phone again, heart slightly racing. I recognized a familiar sign: an S in a blue circle. The rush in my chest dropped to a dull ache.
"Students, we hope you are all doing well during these tough times. Please make sure to attend all online classes. Attendance is mandatory. If you do not attend your classes, we are afraid that the school will have to—"
It wasn't her. Or mom.
I tossed the phone on the table. With another sigh, I turned to the laptop and minimized the 𝘝𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘮 window. Just as I was about to turn it off, a small notification appeared to the bottom right of the screen.
𝘋𝘪𝘯𝘨!
"You have received a game invite from ⏃⊑⏃⎎⋏⍀."
Hmm?
𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴?
I clicked the notification. Then . . . then I couldn't remember. I couldn't remember what happened after. Later on, though, I would recall a few things. Someone had whispered into my ear, requesting my presence. My permission. My help.
𝘠𝘰𝘩𝘢𝘯, 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦, 𝘐—
And I accepted. Everything disappeared.
[Entering World]
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