Getting Fucked Over

Okay so, good news and bad news.

Good news is I'm the first to hit the dragon in the eye, making me the winner of our little competition.

Bad news is we angered the dragon. Like, really really mad.

"I don't think shooting its eyes is a good idea!" I yelled at Mr. Captain beside me, both of us struggling to avoid the dragon's flamethrower.

"Your fault! You shot it!" Captain yelled back.

"Fuckin skill issue man! You just can't hit it!" Thankfully the dragon finally stopped breathing fire at us.

"On its right wing! There's a wound! Hit it!" Captain pointed at the lizard flying overhead while I grabbed a bottle of mead from the ground. The dragon made everyone panic and caused the crate of mead to tip over.

Basically there's a shit lot of mead bottles littered all over the place. It sounds dangerous since we can just accidentally step on one and slip, potentially costing us our lives due to the dragon, but eh, free mead.

"Which wing? Left or right?" I drank a mouthful and yelled at the Captain.

"Right wing!" Captain yelled back, just avoiding a claw to the face. Good reflexes, damn.

"Which right? Mine or the dragon's?" I finished the bottle and nocked an arrow to my bow.

"Oh, my bad. Our right."

"Oh, ok."

I focused on the right wing, looking for the wound. It took a few seconds, but no worries since another guard is distracting the dragon by hitting it with a chair. There seems to be a small cut on the dragon's right wing. No idea why, but it makes for a good target.

I pulled back the bowstring and aimed. I barely even aimed, since my aimbot is doing most of the work. I just pointed the arrow in the general direction and released the arrow.

Of course it hit the wound. I have an aimbot. It's a given.

The dragon roared. Painful, isn't it? The arrow punctured through the wing, leaving a hole. The dragon began to struggle flying. So it just landed on the watchtower.

Since the target is now stationary, abusing the moment is a must. I nocked another arrow and aimed at the edge of the tear on the wing.

Fun fact: arrows are sharp. Like, really sharp. How do you expect it to pierce through the skull of someone if it's not even sharp?

Since I shot the edge of the tear, it naturally widened. So I shot another one. And another one.

After 4 more arrows, there's now a really huge tear on the dragon's wing. It can't fly now. Worse than a chicken. It's now only an oversized fire-breathing lizard.

"Pretty good shooting there." Captain complimented, already sipping on some mead.

"Mead buff." I gave him a thumbs-up.

"So uh, about the dragon." I pointed at the tower-bound lizard.

"Let the others take care of it. Just hit it once in a while." Captain found a boulder to sit down on.

Well, Captain said it.

So I found a bottle of mead and sat down beside him. We shot a few arrows every now and then, but the guards are the ones in charge of everything else.

I love guard duty.

~~~~~~~~~~

"That's the dragon. It's slightly fucked up, courtesy of the guards' effort. No one died, fortunately. But we did lose 30 bottles of mead." Captain reported to Irileth.

"Make that 31" I sipped on a bottle.

"We lost 31 bottles of mead." Captain added.

Irileth's eyelids twitched. I mean, I kind of get it. Absurd situation and all.

Losing 31 bottles of mead is a massive issue.

"This is... a dragon?" I turned around at the guard's question.

"Yep. Pretty big eh?" I crossed my arms with a smile.

At the front is the dragon, both eyes shot, one of its wings absolutely obliterated, and its limbs and mouth bound with chains. It looked like a fucked up porcupine with the arrows sticking

It tried to roar, but it just sounded pitiful. Fortunately I'm British. I have the empathy of a plastic bag.

"The situation is vastly different from what I thought it would've been." Irileth recovered from Parkinson's and walked near the dragon.

Captain and I bumped our fist together.

"A live dragon is many times more valuable as a dead one. Farengar would be ecstatic to hear the news." Irileth continued.

"You've done a great service to Whiterun. We will try to fulfill your request for a reward." She faced us.

Reward? Hmmm...

Captain and I shared a look.

A nod.

"A new bow."

"Mead—A new bow."

I won't reveal who stuttered.

~~~~~~~~~~

"A new bow." The guard captain known for his laid-back attitude spoke.

"Mead— A new bow." The funny-looking man stuttered.

Isn't that the companion of those people who went to get the Dragonstone? He was assigned here by the Jarl.

"I'll extend your request to the Jarl." I nodded solemnly at the two.

According to the guards, these two faced an entire bandit army all by themselves. Even playing games while doing so. A guard even said they didn't miss a single shot.

Now they subdued a dragon to such a pitiful state. I wouldn't have believed it without seeing it in my own eyes. This guard captain is known for his supernatural marksmanship, being able to outperform the best archers the Empire has to offer.

But this weird man beside him surprised me. His companions mentioned his superb archery, but I wouldn't have guessed it to be at this level.

I would've loved to see him shoot.

"Adam!" The weird man turned around to greet his companions.

"You're all alive! That's amazing!" He clapped as they came closer.

"Is that an insult?" The Stormcloak man, Ralof as I've heard, frowned.

"You're overthinking it." Adam patted his shoulder.

"So uh, you did that?" The Imperial man, Hadvar, pointed at the bound and blind dragon meters away from them.

"The guards are pretty good." Adam hummed. "Let me introduce you to this guy, he's a cool dude."

And he went to introduce them to the guard captain.

It's getting pretty late. I should report to the Jarl.

I'm sure he would love to hear the news.