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Rambling and Random bullshittery

This be your most daring story; A rambling if you must, Of language most foul, of unexplored ways to curse. Of bullshit in every turn, in every twist, in every twists of tongues. As told by thine ol'hands and masterminded by the crude tongue, with all my tics and antics. Do-told tale of a vegetable who limbs and stumbled on a new realm of where creation was pierced in it's boundaries. Of a connoisseur who learns of ways of an unshackled breathing body, the occasional doggie styles and the utmost high of all forms of unequaled shag-getry, wooing tarts and thots and hoes, all manners of terms modern and old to name all wenches of all- the ripened titties; "Thine taste ranges from nymphs of florescent pure to flooded lips which hangs and are forgivably bonk-able with a passing thought riled up by the hard down under, Which in short means all!" Heinously wholesome in ways of the vile tongue which grew most crude, terribly heinous with every breaths more lived- after to after and then more, much much more. A rambling- to what he sees, to what he does. This is a story of a living, in a world of pixels; of new universe where a man could swim in lava, a world where such and such is deemed mundane. An epic where a naked fledgling dove in the heat of an avian war, baby-steps towards a destiny-, etched in the root webs of two worlds with only a goal; To be the Pirate Ki- nevermind! To live most free. Rejuvenation; maketh man a new being, now what would be his tale when all he knew of living was blinking a set of dead little eyes, what would such a virgin of a human ways do in a surreal world that explodes magics and bullshits. I'll tell ye all! Just listen to the ramble. (Stay with me, I won't ever drop this.) [Warning:] 1. Not for the faint of heart. 1½. Smut will be there but it will be extremely rare. 2. The english dictionary would require a thorough update after I'm done with this epic. 3. Fuckery most heinous most foul. (By decree of a certain fool) 4. Don't tell your mums you learnt (curses) from me. 5. No other warning just enjoy, If ye dares. Cover art not mine, thank you for letting me use it and sorry but pray tell if you ordered it removed. Will use it until I could afford a more authentic cover art or until boss wants it removed.

JF_Fanai · Fantasía
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32 Chs

Shitty and wise

"So let me get this straight!" he clapped as I finished my story with a huge bite.

"First you were a vegetable fish then you became a regular fish while still being a vegetable fish with new experiences. Am I getting it right?"

"So far." said I, I grew to not dwell further on his trolls, I simply indulge in them.

Him and fishes- it falls to me as cringe but I'd bore through cringe with a dress of shame anytime of any night-,

'Night' I said because fuck 'day';

Yeah.. but mostly I'd bore through it.

For these sensation in the mouth is heart jerking, twerking and charming and with both arms with six fish-sticks doing a delectable wolverine in between all fingers I was ready and more for anything, even the apocalypse.

"Half naked, with no gold nor a pouch or orb and even the- Bah!" he shrug a lip- how does one does it? Well you just arched the corner of your lip and tilt your head a little, this move also hints disagreement, "It doesn't matter, all that because all in all you're still a fish!?…" with much a thinker stoke, five fingers caresses his chin and Eureka he suddenly popped, "Fish-Fish!" he fish-fished.

He had that intrigued sparkle in the eyes as he saw me devour meat, cavemen like, uncontrolled breaths and snorts like a child, like a pup with a taste of it's first slaughtered meat.

Gluttony consumed was I, hurried for why unknown- I was picking every flesh off of these six prickly bones, like a ravished dog mowing his meal. My gums bled a little but me brows just shrugs them off claiming them for wine.

Till I robbed all six of these bones off their flesh, did I pay him heed, 'The belly needs the feed!' Twas encouraged by belly's call and feed need it did indeed.

Staring him right at his silvers with my most deepest honest shine from my gleam-mers , "More Fish-Fish?" I fish-fished, a snob-like joke to fit in for more fish fish.

Despite his shitty-rude take on humor, this oldman was kinder than a hungry Lion on a stroll; He threw me one then another and another I forgotten but he might've cracked his stone lipped line as I unraveled carcass from flesh as soon as he hand me said flesh.

"Your power is really something fish!" he commended as he threw me another fish, "But don't let it get to your head there, people are strong. Heck! I once knew a guy who could tear anything under his aura."

"Woah!" went my eyes, powerful powers are always marvelous to behold even when by ear.

"I knew and met him today, he just left before I fished you out the water." he added right after.

"Wha- I thought you said you once knew him.." I exploded.

"ONCE"

"KNEW"

"HIM!" I barked, "That means that you once knew him. ONCE KN-.. You just met him that's not once knew that's just knew.. JUST KNEW"

He stared at me, albeit blankly.

Silence then reigned after I barked to his fuckery.

A fuckery he did ignored.

One a second, then to fives.

I could've been fuming stead I dwelt in these faint chewing noises, the teeth marches for the tongue to be at bliss from the savoury delights.

Kang kept his blank stare dead on, twas clear he was deliberately not batting an eye to my response, batting not a moment of thought, simply barging in whenever with his own unrhythmic tempo on the conversation, "It's funny! The Pigs! Archons huh?" he mused not at all bothering my rant.

"Archon!" he repeated, "It's likely they're expanding, they should be higher than that. They're likely sending the youngins to hunt eh?… bunch of fat pigs nothing to worry bout…"

He looked on ahead to whatever among the stars.

Glimmering with pride or so his eyes smelled at the time but even as they called my attention I could only more see of;

Those wrinkles; like litle folded valleys.

What digits of resolution would suffice for those shades under this bluish sky, the fire- like torch shining at his face, how many pixels for those nostrils?

Those aged cells in his skin, life-like and brightened under the moonlit sky of where we were then under.

Gleaming eyes of all frowns he seemed to possess; right then and now they were gleaming, they were impossibly merry-

a longing feeling.

And only, if only he would pull the brakes on his tongue.

I kept the ears open for any notes he would spit in his tedious monologues, all other senses were focused on taking notes and making love to these delicious fishes and no longer getting my heart warmed up in his bullshite.

"I don't think the Kingdom would just let a rogue clan vandalize the forest. Uh-Uh!"

He shook his head, pushing his tongue to his gums making a sound, very gramp-like, and as if I was dwelling on whatever he said he resumed, "No! No!.. They won't be sitting idly. You best steer clear though, a fish will not survive!"

Words to which my absent minded head nodded to.

"You were in Terric Rift right?" jabbering on as I let my feet sneakily nick a fish-stick closest to me by the fire;

I ate and left a pile, a rather stacked pile of bones and it somehow now was a shameful act to ask for more, me ears heard none but noises from that old-man, 'He said Terric rift or something.'

Terric rift was the only thing I caught.

"It's got to be the clan from there.. green skins and all, they're evolving, growing.. remarkable always." and like all old-timers he still went on to near an incoherent rumble, "Terric Rift, Yes! There! That is the only place.. tell me that Sunder-Wyrm you killed, still got the core? Things will be easier with the core.. You still have it?"

My ears were numb, eating was the game for me and orgasm is the goal, My full blown attention was to the taste buds-.

The place besides the fire on the neat lift of land; the best that river-banks could offer, save for crackling wood and my chewing it was now dumb and quiet as I came to figure, 'Where'd his words go?' I thought as I arose from my feast.

It might've been seconds until I would saw; his lips had already stopped grinding it's gears, impressive show of might from the pampas which somehow stuck on to every spit stained words he growled;

They rather make him more commanding, like those canes that leaders used, useless in combat but made it 'it' by design.

So it might've been seconds but who knows;-

Till I stared on up to check on the eerily silent old-man, I could see his greying brows beholding those silver eyes- sharp they gnaw at me, staring mean they were; solely fixated on my headless body to-be.

"Oh?" I exclaimed quick and upbeat- the eyes seemed as If they asked a question and I simply find it right to answer to what I last faintly heard him spout, "I don't know where the fuck Terric is, I was blown there just as quick as I got here." I resumed on munching the angelic delight, so unearthly tasty was 'taste' that it was to me holy.

"You dumb dim little shit, I said do you have the core?"

whilst Kang was on the tone of the antonym of holy, I peaked him an eye, he seemed impatient

and ready to pluck my head off of my shoulder.

Still a snob and still the belly demanded more, dumb- I smiled angelic at Kang, "Fish-Fish?" I squeaked.

One, two and again more seconds past in pausing silence.

He glared dead and mean, I had a dumb smile on, there were no fish-fish given;

Old people and their hair trigger anger;

The sudden gleaming eyes of wonder he just had grew bland and lifeless, reeking of the urge to un-alive.

One-Two-three seconds pasts,

And;

As patience indeed wore off;

"WHATTT???" annoyed, I yelled.

"THE CORE!!???!!! YOU STILL HAVE IT!??" he kept on not losing in the war of shouts.

"OFCOURSE I STILL HAVE IT! I JUST SAID I STILL HAVE IT! ARE YOUR EARS PAST THEIR EXPIRY DATES?"

"EXPIRED??? LEARN YOUR HUMAN! FISH! IF YOU DON'T KNOW!!..... WE!!" he bellows, his palms banging his shoulder, "HUMANS! CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU TALKING!!"

"That's just sad. Cringe!" softly I retreated my volume down.

"What? So you're not a fish?" he asks, in all seriousness.

His eyes craned closer and with the heat from the fire he pierced me with them, "Who are you then." he slowly beckons.

The heat, the pressure those eyes possessed, "You don't even know who you are? You can't even answer anything, like a fish with crutches, who the fuck are you?" they managed to churned my deep emotions out from where they lurked within me from first I came to this game, pent up anger for the maker for making me a 'breather' and flashes of my pasts stung me in the mind, times I hated my parents, times I hated my life, times I begged for death, times I begged to survive, times I wanted to fly, times I wanted to cry; more times of misery flushes and with everything crashing in temple I screamed; Out all agony in form of loud boasting rant, "I!! I AM A FUCKING CHAD OF THE FIRST DAYS…" I took a breath, '"OF THE FIRST MONTH OF THE BEST BEFORE TWENTY-FOUR MONTHS LABEL! UNLIKE YOUR EARS WHO WENT PAST THEM YEARS AGO!" fumed I did but impressively the mind kept on the topic of Expiry Dates- which we exchanged right as we did the shouting.

"I AM A MAN! I AM LIVING! I AM FREE!!!"

"I-..!!" I announced, as a cough full of broke-down tears erupt, "I!.. AM FREE!"

I huffed and puffed, like a burden has been thrice removed for good, like all these words were waiting to be lifted up and shouted out to the world whole- to hear.

A silence offered for I to cooldown, Kang was sometimes an unthankable pundit; a master of life.

Until;

"Heh! Cannibal!" Kang then scoffs with a wide smile looking at me.

I remained with sweats and a tad jumbled still, yet me brow sighs in his always witty, never not quick goading comments, seeing me as so a smile he cracked, stone lips creaked ear to ear and he continued to jeer, "What the hell did you just say…. Ehh!!--maybe I just don't understand fish talk?" shrugged he did them extra shoulders.

"GRRR!" no words exist to relay the veiny lines on thine steaming face's message.

"GRRR!" he had a mockery side in him- mimicry like thin.

The fire between us crackles on, like laughing at the sight of our tones as the night grew dimmer, the dark thawed sleepy sands in the eyes for the needing;

I with eyes stuck on those elder eyes stuck on mine, we both took bites of the fishy delights.

Eventually; before I knew it I came to talk to my first ever social encounter, I didn't even realised it until now.

We talked, laughed and chewed and gulped and bickered on past late and even after as Stone-edged wolves howled to the light of the crescent moon we were then under.

Sticks galore we used them as fuel for fire, fish-fish rested in our bellies, 'I have lived!' with wide an accomplished smile I laid on the grassy plain.

The old-man was bortherline a hearty host and with fish-fish like such, and my first oral orgasm; the moment cemented then in the memory for all of always.

In the lasts ticks of the minutes of our moment spent; twas quizzed by a fisherman who finds my heart-dumbed answer delectable.

"....so where're ya off to?" he asks.

"Uh!!! Ha-Ha!" chortling a closed eye excuse, cluelessness tells I haven't even once thought of where I'll be heading- so I reached for a scratch at the back of the afro, "I dunno!" I confessed, with a dumb smile, "Imma…. just go wherever my toe points I guess."

said the tongue without a thought.

I somehow expected an out burst from my vague reply but however he seemed lost in a trance, his stoned armored lips somehow now looked chapped and loose, due for a smile.

"Youth!" he slowly sighs with nigh watery eyes.

We all know that wise man who likes to troll.

Did I do a good job in portraying him?

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