Fighting Bad Feelings

Steve took a deep breath and looked at the bright blue sky in front of him. The sky was calm and beautiful, but Paxton felt a little more anxious than it had been a week ago, when it was lead gray and heavy. A week ago he had to trust Allen's judgment, and he knew the chief mechanic was an experienced, brilliant specialist and Steve could trust him blindly. Today Steve had to trust only himself.

That was the hardest part for him, trusting yourself. Maybe other people wouldn't have a problem with it, but Paxton had lived for over three years with a tremendous guilt that ripped his mind and heart apart. So he was not as confident or as bold as others thought him to be. This put him in an even more difficult position because he felt that he was failing the expectations of others. As a result, he still had faith in his strength and capabilities, so it was extremely difficult for him to trust them.