Chapter 37 : A Vulnerable Position

Open Road, Unknown Location.....

A cool breeze swept passed Julia Rawsone as she stood beside her car along the side of the road attempting to get her thoughts in order before the arrival of her former lover so that she could finally discuss what she intended. He'd been a wonderful friend for the past eight years and she had been drawn to him to the point of nearly throwing away her marriage in a bid to be with him. At one point in time she'd even considered leaving and going away with him, but that was a foolish dream and a feverish one if ever there was. When the affair began, she was in a very dark place in her life. Her daughters had each gone off to college, her husband threw himself into work, and the subsequent loss of their stillborn son ate away at what remained of her love for him. She'd unfairly blamed the man for her pain and justified attempting to hurt him in the worst way possible solely because he wasn't a broken mess like she was over the loss of their son.

Looking back on it, she came to the conclusion that his later obsession with the welfare of the boy Alexei Bortnik was all apart of it. The troubled young man was something of a surrogate son to her husband and despite his best efforts to help the orphan, she and his colleagues did their best to keep them apart. At the time Julia was in a very bitter place and had not wished to see the attachment her husband had for any other child that had not been theres and it lead to her phoning the facility and voicing her "concerns" about Hadrian spending so much time with Alexei.

It was a petty thing to do and one she would always regret due to how it affected her husband in the end, they removed him from the case and didn't allow him even one last visit with Alexei to even explain the situation. Hadrian was adamant about seeing the boy and how this would severely effect his progress. None of it mattered to those in charge of his care nor did it matter to Julia herself. She had only wished to see her husband in misery and justified it as being what he deserved due to his lack of grief over the death of their son.

She'd been all set to inform him of her affair with Gary Sanders to further twist the proverbial knife, but the news of his disappearance had been shocking to say the least. He had not come home following his usual routine and no one had seen him since his arrival at his office. His car and briefcase were found at the scene and traces of a minor scuffle but nothing of his whereabouts. As the days passed guilt began to eat away at Julia and fears of his untimely death plagued her night and day, ultimately her pettiness took a back seat as did her justification for the affair and she reflected on everything Hadrian had done for her ever since they began dating in high school.

He'd been there for her and the girls every step of the way, putting them first even above his own needs and now he needed help and she wasn't anywhere to be found. She ended her affair with a rather confused Gary and returned home desperately awaiting the arrival of her husband while hoping and praying that he had not been dead.

Julia at the present moment was simply trying to get her life back on track. She'd done more than enough damage to the man whom had once meant everything to her and she had made up her mind to work on fixing her marriage and assisting her ailing husband. His sleepwalking and night terrors were a real problem and he seemed further and further away from her as the days passed despite his efforts to appear otherwise.

It wasn't long before Gary arrived, hat in hand and no doubt willing to argue against the decision she had already made. Gary adjusted his glasses and fiddled with his fingers a bit as he got out of his four door sedan and made his way over to Julia whom had seen better days with the indication of exhaustion spread across her lovely face and the bags beneath her baby blue eyes.

"Julie..," began Gary only to be cut off by his former lover.

"I meant what I said Gary I cannot see you anymore." she said firm in her tone as she offered no means of resistance from him.

"But....I love you." replied Gary desperate to convey his feelings for the first time in a long time. "What we had..."

"It's over Gary....it should have never happened in the first place." said Julia matter-of-factly. "He almost died and I can't take that chance...not again."

Gary sighed recalling what he had been told about the shooting and how he was found. Tear streamed down Julia's cheeks as she recalled the horror of finding her husband in that hospital bed unconscious. She set out to hurt him, but him losing his life had never been apart of her plans.

"You two are doing better I take it?" asked Gary with an arched brow despite his apparent heartbreak at never being able to have her in his life like before.

"He's been ill since his return." replied Julia truthfully. "I need to see him through this and I can't do that with all this going on at the same time...it's not right...and he doesn't deserve that...not with everything that's happened."

Gary nodded in understanding. He had loved Julia ever since they were kids in school, but being two years younger and left behind after graduation put a damper on things in terms of his pursuit of her. Hadrian was always there and before he could work up the courage to ask her out, his best buddy had already gotten her pregnant.

"Are you...going to tell him?" he asked wondering if he should brave being in the line of fire.

"Yes." replied Julia honestly. "But only when he's strong enough to handle it, I don't want to risk his recovery."

"Alright." replied Gary knowing all too well that a good deal had changed not only between himself and Julia but it would change his apparent friendship with Hadrian as well. "Just give me a heads up...when you do."

Julia nodded in agreement, figuring it was the least she could do after all that time.

"If you ever change your mind, Julie...you know where to find me." said Gary he leaned down and kissed her cheek before taking his leave of her to head back to his car.

Julia had given up her foolish notion to continue her affair, hurting Hadrian was the last thing she wanted to do at this point and her fear for his health was more than enough to reignite her guilt at having betrayed him.

Unbeknownst to her, a lone figure clad in black from head to toe was watching her from another vehicle. The almost missed flash from a camera was seen a few times during her "talk" with Gary Sanders and then the vehicle quietly drove away.

Believing herself to be done with the sorted affair, Julia got back into her car and made her way home in the hopes of spending more time with her ailing husband. She lost him once, she couldn't bare the thought of ever having to lose him again.