Chapter 6

We fell asleep in the backseat with the seat laid flat holding each other. I woke up to the sun shining on my face; my entire side hurt. I shook Jackson "Jack, we fell asleep." He opened his eyes and moved "Geez why is this so uncomfortable." I covered my mouth laughing "We should get home. Your mom said she was going to come over." He yawned "I'll climb out so I can help you."

He got out, and helped me out; we laid the seat back up and went back to his apartment. I unlocked my phone to a text from Shelby "Addison how are you doing? I miss seeing you :( I hope you are okay babe <3." I responded "Come over tonight. Jackson won't mind." She responded "I wanted to take you to this party but I don't know how you'd feel about it :(. I will understand if you aren't comfortable and Jackson is welcome to come."

I looked up at Jackson who was focused on driving. I replied, "Can I get back to you later with how I feel?" She replied "Of course love <3 take care of yourself. I understand completely." I locked my phone and glanced up at Jackson "Shelby invited us to a party tonight." He frowned "I don't think you can handle that yet." I looked out the window "If I get overwhelmed we can leave." He shook his head no "Addi I think you need to take your time and not rush into anything." I frowned "It's been a year and a half at some point I have to make things seem somewhat normal in my life. I can't hide away forever."

He looked upset but I know it was just his fear of something happening again and this time he couldn't be there to protect me.

When we got back to the apartment he picked me up and carried me inside being playful. I loved when he did that, he laid me on the couch and sat beside me "You know I don't control you so if you want to go?" I shook my head "I just want to hang out here today." He stood up "In that case. Let's run to Walmart." I sat up "For what?"

He reached his hand out for me to grab it "You'll find out." I stood up, followed him to the car, and we ran to Walmart and went shopping. I dragged him to the beauty section, I looked at the face masks "Would you do these with me?" He grabbed it from the shelf "Don't tell anyone and we have a deal." I grabbed two as well as the feet masks. Then I grabbed a bath bomb as well as a bubble bath. Then we went to the nail polish, I looked at Jackson "Pick a color you think I would like or look good with."

He skimmed the colors and picked red "Because red signifies power and love. Things you are passionate about. When I see you I think of red because I see a strong passionate person." I looked away blushing "Never knew a color would make you think something like that." He smiled "I also see pink meaning innocent and gentle." I smiled "Then both?" He handed me the nail polish "I choose red because right now it has a stronger meaning but in time pink will be." I stared at him getting ready to cry. I ended up hugging him. We continued shopping and headed back home.

Once we got there, I warmed up the tub and turned on the tub jets. I threw in the bath bomb, and Jackson came in "Do you want help?" I turned to him "Relax with me?" He looked down "Sure. If that's what you want." I nodded, I poured in the bubbles and we got into the tub. We washed each other's hair and relaxed together. I laid beside him "Jackson. Thank you for making me feel important and happy." He exhaled and opened his eyes "You deserve that and you are important." I looked down and he lifted my head back up. I moved closer to his face and kissed him.

It became intense, he stopped me "Don't feel like you have to do this." I looked into his eyes "I don't. I know how I feel and this is what I want. I feel at home when I'm with you. I feel peace. I've fallen in love with you. I want to explore that more." He smiled "I do too. I feel like we don't have to try to click we just do. I shut myself away thinking it wasn't right but I know now it is." I rested my head on his shoulder. We continued talking until we decided to get out. We dried off and I helped him put his masks on. We lay on the bed next to each other as time decreased.

We helped each other clean up once the timer was done. I dried my face on the towel, and he grabbed me by my waist, turned me to face him, and kissed me. He pulled away an inch and said "Addison, would you be my girlfriend?" My heart dropped, and I became scared, but then he touched my face "It's okay Addie. I won't do what he did." I exhaled quietly trying to maintain my anxiety "I love everything you've done for me and I love you but I'm not ready. I'm sorry."

Sadness went over his face but he leaned in kissing my forehead "It's okay. Don't feel rushed into making a decision. I will always be here." I laid my head on his shoulder as I hugged him about to start crying "I'm trying." He let out a sad sigh "I wish I could take the pain you feel and put it on myself so you don't have to suffer." Tears fell one after another. I knew Jackson wouldn't do anything but trust was hard for me.

The mental abuse I endured makes me believe everyone is like that. They will all hurt me. No one can say that's my fault because I didn't choose this trauma. I didn't choose to suffer. I will always have this on my conscious and it will make a lot of decisions in my life. It was my first official relationship, we were all naïve with those. We live and learn.