Denial

Shaking, I shot up awake alone and still in my wedding dress. Touching my face, I started to laugh with a sigh. I said, "That had to be a dream. NICK, ARE YOU HOME?" Standing up, I almost fell, trembling my legs felt weak and sore. Reaching down, I removed the heels off my feet. Looking around once more, I shouted out once more, "NICK, WHERE ARE YOU?" No answer, and now feeling dread, I rushed around the house. In our bedroom, "NICK?" In the spare room, "NICK?!" In my office, "THIS ISN'T FUNNY NICK!!" Looking in the bedroom again, I looked through the drawers and saw none of his things. Almost like he hasn't been here in the first place. Shaking my head, I shook off the feeling of doom. It can't be true he didn't leave me. He wouldn't.

Standing up, I started ransacking the house. Items were strewn on the ground, but all the things were mine. None were or are his. It can't be true. It just can't. Heading to the kitchen, I saw a note hanging from the fridge. My hands trembled as I reached for the thing that should be my lifeline. It wasn't, and it will never be. Reading the note repeatedly, I didn't believe the words on the page until I started reading it out loud.

"Dear Ann, If you are reading this, then I have left, and you probably deny it. I will tell you what you refuse to believe until you believe it. I don't want you. I fell in love with someone else. I saw her behind your back a month after I proposed to you. My midnight trips to work were to see her. She is perfect for me. She is not a constantly depressed person who cries or breaks down over the simplest of things. She is proud, brave, smart, and beautiful, unlike you. Also, we found out that she is pregnant with my kid I will make her life perfect. You were always a toy for me, yet when your father died of cancer, I felt an obligation to make it so that you could stand on your feet. I was never happy you were an obligation and a game. Until I found out that the person I love is her, not you, I decided to drop you, but I didn't want to tell you in person, so I left. You are worthless, depressing, clingy, and opinionated. So here you go. I hope you discover something better for yourself."

Trembling, I reread the note, this time in my head, while shouting out in confusion and anger, "What the hell did I just read." Sniffling tears streamed down my face as I ripped the letter in half. While trying not to crumble, I started to mumble, "No... No, it can't be true. It just can't. I can't believe it. Yeah, it can't be true." Laughing, I felt myself numbing, falling. My legs now had no strength as my head hung low. Reaching into my storage area, I grabbed the birthday gift that Nick had gotten me. Lifting the glass rose to the light, I saw the beauty of the present. That was when I noticed something engraved on the glass. Flipping it over, I felt that denial would no longer work. Reading what was on the back out loud, I felt my heart shatter, "I love you, Krystal, and I will love our child."

Shaking, I realized the one thing that I will never forget him for. He ignored it was my birthday and gave me his ex-fiancee, his lover's present, so that I wouldn't suspect him. In that instant, depression didn't grip me any longer. All I felt was rage, pure rage that I couldn't contain. The glass rose that was once was in my hand was now shattered on the floor while blood pooled around my hand. Lifting my hand, I pulled the glass out of my hand and stood up. Falling over, blood dripping from my hand, I slid onto the spare bedroom and fell asleep. all the while thinking, "Please let this all just be one big nightmare." I didn't feel the need to eat, and I slept, not wanting to wake up.