Close Shave

I guess Chiron really cared about the results of this checkup. We found him waiting right outside the Hecate Cabin beside a reading Mr. D as soon as we walked out. I wished he would've waited at the Big House. I'd planned on using the walk over to think of a way of explaining things without feeling so awkward.

"It spread?" Chiron asked when we'd finished explaining (minus a whole lot of the visceral details) what had happened.

Mr. D. glanced up from his magazine. "I confess, I haven't been listening. But by 'it' I presume we mean this girl's legs?"

Lou blushed and stepped a little bit behind me, which only amused the god more.

"This is serious." Chiron was in what I call his thinking mode: when he started rubbing circles in his temples, you always knew something was going down.

"It wasn't serious when I nearly croaked it?" Clarisse asked.

She seemed like the only relaxed one there. Unless you counted Mr. D, but he rarely cared about anything.

"Of course I was worried," Chiron said. "But I had hope. I thought perhaps that it would only be once. If it is continuous, and it can affect multiple women…"

"Then a ton of camp is in danger," I finished.

"We need to know more," Chiron said. "The Oracle should be consulted. Rachel—"

"Isn't here," Clarisse reminded him. "Family vacation, remember?"

As the oracle, my friend Rachel was the one responsible for doling out prophecies, which were kind of a must whenever things got cooky, dangerous, or unexplainable. Since this checked all of the above, that made talking to her pretty important.

Unfortunately, she had a life outside of being Oracle. She painted, attended college, and (when she couldn't wriggle out of it) went on family vacations.

Her family went anywhere. One year it was the Caribbean, the next it was Tokyo. Being uber rich helps with that. I tended to lose track, but I felt like I remembered this year being Hawaii.

"I will call her," Chiron promised. "If she can return early, perhaps the wait will not be too long."

"Good luck," I said. "The last time she convinced her dad to let her leave, she sold her future to do it."

Chiron's tail swished nervously. "We will just have to hope it won't come to that." He pawed at the ground with a front hoof. "Is there any good news that has come from this? Any at all?"

"…no babies," Lou mumbled softly.

"What was that, Ms. Blackstone?"

Lou Ellen squeaked. She inched further behind me, like I was a shield for her embarrassment.

"What stops the curse is… male ejaculation," she whispered. "And it must be, erm, inside. Very dangerous. But the curse sucks the energy out of it, using it like fuel. So as many times as it happens, nothing will can be created. If you understand."

For a lot of campers, Chiron was like an adoptive parent. I imagined trying to explain the mechanical details of magical (not-)babymaking to Paul, before immediately wishing I hadn't.

Chiron cleared his throat. "That… is good. Thank you, Ms. Blackstone."

Mr. D sighed as he turned a page.

"This place would have looked hilarious with a dozen swollen stomachs waddling around," he said forlornly.

"And after, once the children were born?" Chiron asked. "Even you might have had to change a diaper."

Mr. D froze with his fingers on the next page.

"A thousand praises to the curse's author," he said.

His voice was completely serious.

Our impromptu meeting broke apart a few minutes later. It wasn't exactly a private setting, and some campers were curious enough to stop and try to listen. There was a pair of Hermes kids lurking, who were about the last demigods I trusted not to eavesdrop. I also spotted a gaggle of Aphrodite girls. That was a match made in the Underworld if I ever saw one. With Aphrodite girls to gossip about it, the second the Hermes kids knew our secret, so would the whole camp.

One in the middle, a gorgeous girl with dark skin and darker hair, was sniffing the air. She caught me looking. I could only see one of her eyes from where I was standing, so I hoped the way it closed when she saw me staring was just a blink, and not a wink.

It was late in the day, and I felt as tired as the guy who ran the first marathon. I trudged straight to my cabin and shut myself inside. I didn't even show up to dinner. Chiron must've thought that was a smart decision, because a plate of ribs and veggies mysteriously appeared on my doorstep, and he never came to check in.

Or he did, and I was too comatose to know it. As soon as I'd eaten I collapsed into bed. Falling asleep never felt easier.

I don't know exactly how long I slept, but it was long enough to make my head feel stuffed with cotton in a good way.

It was still totally dark out when I opened my eyes. At first I wasn't sure what woke me. Then I felt the bed shift under someone else's weight.

I felt deja vu to waking up with Annabeth in my bed. Somehow that morning was only two days ago. After everything, it felt like a lot more.

"Welcome back," I said sleepily. "You missed me that much?"

It wasn't unusual for her to sneak over in the middle of the night. I didn't think much of it.

"Yesss," she said. "Missssed you."

I blinked groggily. "What's wrong with your voice?"

It was deeper than usual, and she spent a little bit too long pronouncing each 's'.

I felt her moving on the bed, pulling the blanket off to get it out of the way.

"I am… sick! Yes, very sssick."

"Oh. Okay."

My brain was coming online slowly. She pulled down my shorts. Her nails were really getting long; I felt them scrape my skin in a way I was sure would leave marks. I reached down and massaged her shoulders, making her sigh.

"You're so soft," I said. "Like… feathers?"

Two things happened in that moment.

First: the fountain in the Poseidon Cabin always tosses up mist in just the right way to support an Iris Message. Bianca used it once from beyond the grave, and since then it had happened a few more times. This was one of those. An image formed in the air of a girl sitting on a sunny sandy beach.

Second: in the fresh light, I could see the room. I could see the blanket tossed off on the floor, edges sliced through where it had been grabbed. I could see the face of the woman in the bed, a woman who wasn't Annabeth. I could see the shoulders I was holding, and the long red wings sprouting from them. Worst of all, I could see the face hovering above my crotch. She wasn't Annabeth. She wasn't even human. Her mouth opened, revealing ridges of wicked sharp teeth that hadn't been brushed in at least a century.

"Thanksss for the meal!" The harpy exclaimed, preparing to bite.

I've never thrown a harder punch in my life, and I don't think I ever will.

The harpy tumbled backwards off the bed with a crack and a squawk. She surged up, but I was faster. Snatching Riptide from my bedside table, I uncapped the sword and leapt forward, plunging it into her. She exploded into dust.

"Sssister?" a voice asked from the door. "Are you finished?"

"I'm sick of waiting!" cried another. "I'm taking my taste now!"

Three more harpies burst into the room, each with a different colored plumage. They were technically Camp staff. They enforced curfew, snatching any young demigod foolish enough to break the rules. But they were absolutely forbidden from entering cabins. I'd never heard of them acting like this.

When they saw me kneeling naked over what used to be their sister, all three of them froze. Righteous fury over their possible plans for my penis coursed through me.

"Who exactly was getting tasted?" I growled.

Which is all a long way of explaining how Rachel Elizabeth Dare, oracle of Apollo and my almost-ex, watched me chase three bird women around a room with a sword while wearing nothing but my birthday suit.

-

"Thanks," I said. "I really owe you one."

There were still a few feathers in my hair. My boxers were back on, but I hadn't bothered with the rest of my clothes. After all that, it was nothing Rachel hadn't seen.

Speaking of Rachel, she was really leaning into the whole Hawaii thing. She had a tie dyed beach towel under her, probably homemade. She wasn't wearing a whole lot more than I was, just a t-shirt that stopped above the belly button and a bright red bikini bottom which showed off her milky legs. Big dark sunglasses covered her eyes, but the blush behind her freckles said they hadn't blotted out any of the show.

"When Chiron called and said you were in trouble, I didn't expect it to look quite like that," she said.

"Neither did I," I admitted. "But I think you just saved my penis."

Even the thought of those jagged teeth snapping down was enough to make me cringe.

"You're welcome," Rachel said. "But listen, as glad as I am that this all worked out, that's not why I called. Chiron explained the gist of this curse. The way it attracts women—"

"And monsters, apparently."

"—and puts their lives in danger. But what you don't know is this is bigger than that. Two days ago, I lost my connection to Apollo."

"You just lost it? Like you put it down somewhere and don't remember where?"

"He's always in my head," Rachel said seriously. "It isn't like he's speaking to me, but I can feel the presence. When a prophecy comes out, it starts through that connection. But I can't feel it anymore! It's like it's been cut. Or, more likely, something is blocking it."

That sounded serious. Luckily, I was still too distracted by my lower body's close call to panic over something like this.

"Who could be strong enough to bully Apollo out of your brain?" I asked.

Rachel tilted her head forward, letting her sunglasses slide to the tip of her nose.

"Something as powerful as him, at least. But I don't think it was easy for them. When I focus really hard, I can almost feel a flicker of the connection. If a prophecy is ready to come out, I think I may be able to batter past the blockage."

What went unsaid was that prophecies were very much face-to-face business. They didn't function all that well over video call, especially not if you were trying to force one out.

"So you're coming back?" I asked hopefully.

Rachel winced. "I would, but—"

"Rachel?" A man's voice called from out of shot. "Rachel, dear, Thomas is looking for you! One of his stocks rose by eight percent this morning, and he'd love to celebrate by buying you a drink."

I didn't know who Thomas was, but Rachel's nose crinkled in disgust.

"Dad's trying to set me up with a friend's son," Rachel explained quickly. "He's really excited about it, which makes one of us. I could threaten him at gunpoint and I think he still wouldn't let me fly back early from this one."

With a sinking feeling in my chest, I asked, "How long are you supposed to stay?"

"Two more weeks," Rachel said. "Unless Dad gets distracted and takes us on a detour. Last time, we ended up in Southern France on our way back from Japan. It wasn't even on the way!"

Two weeks. At least. Could we wait that long?

The answer was, I didn't know. Even if I locked myself in my cabin, we still weren't sure what made the curse pass on. How many people would it work through by then?

I thought of the harpies, now piles of dust and feathers on my cabin floor. Until fifteen minutes ago we had no idea the magic would attract them. How much else didn't we know? There was so much that could go wrong.

Rachel leaned into the Iris message. "If you can't wait that long, there's another option. Get to me. If you find us in Hawaii, I can give you the prophecy. From there, you can actually work on fixing this."

"Rachel!" Another, younger voice shouted. "There you are!"

She muttered something unfit for polite company. "I have to go. Listen: we're staying in the Dewdrop Hotel, on Maui. If you spot an obnoxious blond bragging about his portfolio, you're in the right place. I know it's a lot, but you're you. If anyone can manage it…"

Rachel flashed me a final smile. She swiped her hand through the image and ended the call just as a guy around our age with sandy hair and pearly teeth was stepping into shot, a whole tray of drinks in his hands.

Back in the dark, the Poseidon Cabin felt deafeningly quiet. Out the window dawn was just starting. It would be a few hours before everyone else was up and starting the day.

With a sigh, I looked for a broom to sweep up the harpy bits all over my floor. Packing could wait until daylight.

I'd always wanted to visit Hawaii. For some reason, I imagined the circumstances being a little bit different to this.