Paralyzed Emotions- Growing Through What We Go Through

How do we get over this numbness, yet we feel so much? Ironic isn't it? That reaction we get to almost everything around us is "FEELING". Some days we struggle to get out of bed, other days we watch the sun stretch its golden arms. I call it depression!

Almost every single person on the face of this earth struggle with depression; some have it harder than some. Males just as females fight with their mental health on a daily. But how do we know what it's getting worse? I reached out to Rose, a 25-year-old female who shared her story on her fight through mental health.

Rose was always reserved while growing up in the country. As a child, she would witness her parents arguing very often. "I would just sit and watch mom and dad fight across me". Her parents would emotionally abuse her and manipulate her into being a 'good girl, threatening her disobedience. "Disobedience for my parents was not just shouting and cursing at them, though I never did such thing, but whenever I expressed how I feel they would say I'm disrespectful because they know what's best for me and I should not talk back". This caused Rose to become reserved more and more. Though her parents took care of her financially, they would never let her hang out with friends. Rose's emotional health was becoming more and more unstable. She began to think of suicide, cut herself and bang her head into the wall. She would cry to sleep some nights wondering why her parents treated her the way they did and why they think so low of her.

As the years went on, Rose met people who became friends but she had to cut ties after a while as her parents would not allow her to hang out with them. High school was a fight as her parents continued to treat her like a child. She compared herself to her friends and envied them for being so strong.

Today, Rose says she is struggling to bury the memories of her childhood. She is often moody and annoyed by everyone around her. She tries to remain positive but some days she just feels tired. She has thought of seeking therapy but the cost is too high.

"Showering is a struggle for me, talking is a struggle, just being around people is a big struggle. I am 25 and still afraid to be around my parents cause they would start to talk about what I'm not doing, what I'm doing wrong, what I should be doing and so. I hate being in my body. I hate it here. I hate what I am going through. I am just tired all the time. I wish I had an escape but it's worse when we have to do things to distract us from our own emotions. No one understands me, no matter how hard I try, but there are days when I try to remain positive. I find what works for me but sometimes I have to bear it until I no longer feel 'sick'."

Some of us are going through Rose's pain as we read. Mental health should be taken seriously. It's just the same as feeling physically sick. It can contribute to physical pains in fact. This is when we should seek help.

Mental illness is natural does not define you, my readers. Rather it makes you strong and should be unmasked. Grow through what you go through. Believe in yourself and believe that everything takes time. Cry if you must, but always remember to get back out there. Having hope today will bring a better tomorrow.

Zauria Scarlett