The one who searching for happiness

'Where is this?'

Hostpital room. It's so bright. I had to raised my hand to cover my eyes from the light.

I'm confused, why I-

'Argh...'

'It hurts...'

I clutch my head in pain as the memories pouring through my head. I also could see some doctor and a girls mid 20's running towards me.

Her mouth is moved, She probably calling my name, but I can't hear it. It hurts so much.

That was the last thing I see before I blackout.

[20 Years of happiness complete. Contract Fulfilled.]

[You are free now...]

---------------------------------------------------------

(1 Month later.)

'I see...'

So that's what happen. So that's how it playing...

My name is Kai, Shirogane Kai. I'm a reincarnator from other world, Kai is my name in this world, as for my name in the other world? I don't know, I don't remember.

So you gonna ask what happen before. Simply there was a contract between me and a higher being. The contract is simple, I gonna reincarnated to the world I want with some perk and that higher being takes my happiness...

That was a contract that I somewhat regret right now. 20 years of happiness gone just like that.

So I'm lost right now, very lost... For what I'm reincarnating if I can't get happy, for What?!

I just got back my old memories 1 years ago. At that time what I'm thinking is 'Great I'm reincarnated, I'm free from that place.'

19 years without my old memories is good I say. We were rich, I got everything I need, I got family that cares about me, I got big sister that loving me, I even got female twins and she become my half later on. Even if my mother died some years ago it still good.

That years when I got my memories back, I was in bliss. Unknown to the thing I need to pays. It was great, everything seems perfect. Till 1 month ago.

My twins died... And not only that, my memories also get taken, specifically my happy memories...

My memories right now is like your favorites song minus your favorites part. It's like 'Song - Mary on a cross' Without Holy mary verse. It become bland, incomplete, and bad.

(A/N: That song was great. Hear it and you not gonna regret it.)

I'm angry. I'm so angry, but I can't do anything to it. I want revenge but the one who hurts me and killed my twins already dead, my sister already done it. She wipes it clean, to the roots.

If you reading news right now, you will see highlights of some megacorporation down and many of it's personnel missing or dead mysteriously. That was my sister, she done it already.

Then revenge to that higher beings? What can i do? Bark to him?

All in all, there is nothing I can do. My sister also doesn't let me out, fearing something gonna happen to me. Even if I go out, there was nothing to see, there was nothing to do. This world is doomed.

There is no more scenery only pollutions everywhere, the air is polluted, the mountains are also barren, as for the sea... You can only hope there is no eldritch being spawn through there.

Maybe you gonna ask, then what's the point of reincarnated in this world then?

My goal are a game... A game that later gonna take me to other world.

I was just not expecting that contract gonna make my life a roller-coaster of emotions. Literally.

Right now I was in my family villa top most floor. This villa has no rooftop but I can still see most of the city through here. There was a dome preventing the toxic air comes into the city. In the past I like to view of this city from here?

I'm not sure? Or is it my twins? Fuck it...

That contract makes my memories full of holes, there always some missing things when I try to remember something. And that's makes me angry again.

'Fuck' 'Fuck' 'Fuck' 'FUCK IT!'

*bamb*

Without much thinking I punch the thick glass in front of me. It's hurts, of course. The pain is the reminder that I'm here, that my existence is real and alive.

'I need to calm down.'

'calm down.'

'Calm Down.'

'CALM F*CKING DOWN.'

*Bamb*

Now, my fist is bloodied it hurt much more than the first time. It's hurts, but there is saying that physical pain is much better than emotional pains. And that right. I don't need that emotional pain, I don't want that bad memories. All I want is happiness, only happiness.

I raised my hand again, I want the physical pain let me forget the bad memories. But before I could smash my fist again, a hand caught me. I know whose hand is this, I know this familiar touch. But, it's not what I want.

"Sister..."

"Kai, you are not hot blooded person."

"I'm not."

"You always calm no matter what the situation, right. Even when you two got kidnapped 3 years ago, you still calm and searching a way to contact me right? You are a calm person okay? It also hurts me seeing you like this you know. I'm sure your twins also doesn't want to see you like this, I'm sure of it."

Slowly I can feel my sister hug me from behind, her hand is a little shaky. She is in pain, Pain to see her little brother hurting himself and pain from losing one of her family, again.

She is crying, she try to hold it but I can hear her little sob behind me. It's also hurt me. I never see my sister crying before, not after our father gone, not when our mother dies.

She was reliable sister, she was a strong sister, she was always there for us. But now, the 'us' become me, me alone. The only one she have right now.

Maybe if try to unreasonable I can. I can say 'Sister you only lost the person, not the memories. But I. I lost it, I lost the memory. I can't remember the memories I have with her. The only thing that stuck inside my head is her last moment. when she tried to reach me with her battered bodies, when she call my name but can't hear me. And her last in my arms.'

It Hurts more than this bloodied fist. It hurts more...

...

But, let's calm down. Take a deep breath and calm down.

*Huff*

I need to re-think many things right now.

My sister still cry a little and now there at least some semblance of clarity in my head. I turn my body around and hug her back, also whispering to her.

"Sister you also a strong person, you can't cry okay?"

Because I can't cry, same in my old world. I can't cry anymore.

"Right now, let's sleep okay? maybe we can talk about it tomorrow."

"Let's sleep in my room." My sister said.

"But first, Butler!"

"Yes miss."

"Call a doctor to patch my brother hand."

Then the butler make a quick bow before speeding up to call the doctor.

For next few minutes we spend our time in silence while waiting for the doctor. Because there is not many things can be said right now.

After the doctor finished patching my hand, we goes to my sister bedrooms to go to sleep. In the bedrooms my sister hug me like a koala, burying my head in her bosom, I also hug her back. Maybe she afraid of me going else where because I was the last of her family, or maybe she just need hug.

In the ample bosom of silence, I'm thinking. I need to think of many things actually, like my plans for the YGGDRASIL game and my only family, my sister.

For YGGDRASIL, I don't have a solid plan yet. Because there was only little known about this game in the anime, there also no info of it in my 20 years of life here. But I think it's already close to open because of the contract has been fulfilled.

In week or month at most I think gonna hear about this game. And for the plan, it just gonna be general plan right now. Like become Heteromorphic player, get stronger, use cash, get world champion title, search for world item, destroy some world enemies and other.

As for my sister, I don't know. What I know is that she gonna be more protective than she has ever been. Then for relationship, I also don't know. I mean, I and my twins is already doing it? I unsure of it because of my lost memories. It feel we have been doing it, but I was unsure because I have no recollection of it.

Does my sister know? Does she know?

"Kai, Sleep..." My sister said before pushing me more to her bosom.

"Sister your bos-" Before I Could say more, she pushed her bosom to my face more and more.

Alright, I think we has been doing it. Or is a woman in needs doesn't care about physical touch?

Don't Know...

I also need to think about my twin, this feeling is complicated. It's so complicated that I don't know what to do with it. Her last moment is still stuck at my head and I may doesn't have my memories with her again. But the feeling of losing your half not a good experience for me.

It's complicated, it's confusing, It's a bizarre feeling that can't be said. I hate this feeling, At the same time, I want to feel her again, I want to feel our connection again. I want to see her...

And why... Why she died? Is it because the contract or is it just the natural cause?

That thing said I'm free now. So is that 20 years is he doing, or is it my doing alone?

I don't know anymore... I'm tired... I need to sleep...

"Good night, Sister."

"Good Night, Kai."