Chill 16

<Nisha>

I was so...confused.

The side of myself that held my memories of Jack as a child was happy to see him again. On the flip side, the part of me that had spent the past six years living a completely different life was annoyed and almost a little resentful.

I wanted to be with Jack, but I didn't want to have to give up my life here. Yet, I felt that getting away from this world that had hurt me so much was a blessing.

If I went with Jack, I could imagine the troubles and complications that would come up.

Jack's parents would be expecting me back, but not bringing someone else's children. Based on my memories of their personalities from childhood, I could imagine their reactions.

Honestly, I was afraid.

I was afraid of dealing with the fallout of my two lives and worlds finally clashing together.

Squeezing Jack a little tighter, seeking comfort, I felt guilty.

"Jack," I mumbled faintly into his chest. "I need to tell you something really important." Pulling back, I took in a deep breath to steady myself.

Blue eyes alight with curiosity, Jack waited for me to gather my words, a small smile playing on his lips as he watched me. Seeing that only made the guilt in my heart cut deeper.

I'd forgotten just how open and expressive Jack's emotions were. Every inch of his body language spoke of his feelings.

His left hand gently supporting my back, the right which was unconsciously massaging some stiff muscles he'd discovered at my left shoulder. He was leaning close but making sure that the space between us was enough to ensure I didn't feel awkward.

Shaking my head to refocus my thoughts, I coughed to clear my throat. "The truth is that I don't love you." Finally admitting this certain truth in my heart, I felt relieved.

There were layers of pain in his eyes, but Jack let out a small laugh. "Yeah, I knew that already. You were too young to understand love and now things are...messy. But I," he glanced down, avoiding looking at me.

After three heartbeats, he found the courage to look me in the eye. "I know that you don't love me back. You don't know how much it hurts, knowing how you feel about me. I suppose a better, stronger individual than I might be able to let you go. But, even with all my powers, I can't be that strong, Nisha." His voice was soft but also firm.

A weak breath fell past Jack's lips as he tried to smile half-heartedly. "Thanks for admitting it, though. With you saying the words, I can crush what little hope I had in the back of my mind."

Closing my eyes, I sucked in a deep breath. "From what I remember...there's some sort of underlying curse, isn't there? Different from the one that made you human, right?"

Jack's voice held a layer of surprise. "You remember that too? Well, it makes sense that my parents would have told you at some point, at least. They were grooming you to be the next duchess, after all."

Hearing his voice roll into irritation at that last comment, I opened my eyes and waited for his response.

He eyed me for a moment before letting out a long sigh and giving in. "Alright, yes. There is another curse. I was a bit of a playboy in my, uh, youth, and the Goddess who controls this world has a twisted sense of humor. Though I'm not quite sure who has it worse; me or Summer," he muttered in thought.

"Jack!" I waved my hand in front of his face. His blue eyes had begun to glaze over with memories.

"Huh? Oh, right. Well, the Frost men get one chance. One serious relationship with a woman. Any more than that and the curse will find a way to either kill the Frost man or one of the women he's with."

Biting my lip, I watched Jack's face closely. "Let me guess, I'm the *one*?"

He smiled painfully, nodding. "Yep. The one and only. Even when I'm reborn, I'm still under that particular curse's rule. No loopholes for that one."

Sighing, I reached out to grab hold of his left hand. "...Can you give me some time?"

His gaze was both weary and nervous. "O, of course. I can stay here for a maximum of a week. Any longer and we'll have major problems."

I raised an eyebrow in confusion before realizing what he meant. "Wait! You've already inherited the job?" I gaped at Jack in surprise.

He grinned awkwardly. "Yep. Dad handed it over when I was twenty. He was getting too...tired." Jack mumbled, gaze slipping over to the side.

Recognizing that he was hiding something, I squeezed his hand to force his attention back to me. "Jack?"

His bright eyes studied me in silence before he let out a long sigh. "Um, Nisha. I kind of have to tell you something important myself. Uh…well, I'm currently twenty-one but I won't be young forever."

I blinked, frowning. "Okay?" I murmured, uncertain what he was trying to get at.

"See, I kind of...need to have an heir born before I hit twenty-three. 'Cause when I hit forty, things are going to start getting really rough, you see?"

His face was pale, blue eyes smothered with nerves and emotions I couldn't understand.

I let his words swim around in my head for a while, still frowning. "Jack, are you trying to ask me to have your baby?"

He let out a long breath in relief. "Oh, Gods, you *could* understand the mess that just slipped out." He began to massage his temple with his free hand, face scrunched in pain.

"Being the Duke of Winter is pretty shit. It uses our very life force in order to keep the Human World working correctly. We can only manage twenty to twenty-five years on the job or we won't see past sixty. Sometimes we're lucky to make it to forty or fifty. The weaker the duke is, the more life force is drained with each Winter. Hence why children are required to meet a certain threshold in power before being announced as the Heir."

Speechless, I stared at Jack in amazement.

He smiled awkwardly, his bright eyes watching me with a skittish light. "So, while I know it's really, um, awkward, it's also important. If we're being honest right now, I figured it might be the best time to bring this particular issue up."

I reached out clumsily to pull Jack into a brief hug. "Are you okay? Does it hurt?" I whispered worriedly.

Lips twitching in a small smile, Jack was quick to reassure me. "I'm fine. Once you inherit the title, it's like someone hooked up a tube to your arm. Every day, a certain percentage of your life force is drained away. Sometimes it may spike or lower against the average, but it's always steadily disappearing. It doesn't hurt though and it's usually barely noticeable, except when you start getting low on reserves. Then *every* drop taken away makes you feel as if you're going mad. I've only been in a situation that bad a few times in my many lifetimes. Definitely not anything I want to repeat though, thanks."

Gulping, I decided it was best not to comment on the darkness I'd seen swirling in Jack's eyes with the last of his words. He probably didn't even realize he'd let slip just how bad his memories of those times were and I didn't think it was wise to point it out either.

"Jack, even with a curse like that, I have no idea what to say when you ask me like this. We haven't seen each other in so long and I'm still trying to sort through my feelings. Let alone that I'm still pregnant at the moment. This is just...awkward," I sighed tiredly.

His nervous smile twisting in a bitter manner, Jack rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah," he muttered wearily himself, "I know. But it's the truth either way. I don't know what else to tell you."

Clearing my throat, I reached out to take his free hand, squeezing it gently. "For now, let's just focus on these two." I reached down to rub my belly, smiling a little despite myself.

Blue eyes softening, Jack's whole demeanor relaxed as he absently reached out with his free hand to tuck in a loose strand of hair behind my left ear. "Gods, Nisha. You're so beautiful I'm having trouble breathing."

I frowned, glancing at Jack in exasperation. "That's not exactly sweet. It's worrisome. You can't be suffocating around me all the time."