Chapter 19

Cassie’s hand stung and she wiped it on her yoga pants as the elevator descended. She exited on her floor and made a beeline for her room. She was still angry and hurt and confused about Brian but she wanted to see Nathan. They’d hardly spoken since she’d arrived and she really needed some perspective.

She barged into her room and checked it to make sure it was tidy. She grabbed a maxi dress out of her suitcase and quickly changed into it before pulling her hair into a sleek ponytail and touching up her lipgloss.

She was nervous about seeing Nathan and her stomach jumped about erratically. He hadn’t said anything on the phone except that he was on his way over and he wanted to see her. Why did he want to see her? Had he changed his mind about marrying Ainsley?

There was a knock on her door and she jumped. Taking a deep breath, she smoothed her dress and walked over to open the door. Nathan stood there, leaning casually against the door frame, his coat tossed over his shoulder. He smiled at her. He was gorgeous, but there was a reticence about her now and she wasn’t as quick to melt under his gaze.

“Can I come in?” he asked and she blushed.

“Of course,” she said, stepping out of the way so he could enter.

He tossed his jacket on the bed as she closed the door and then turned to pull her against him. He nuzzled her neck and her skin prickled with goosebumps.

“God I’ve missed you, Bae,” he whispered into her ear. His hands roamed over her back, pressing her into him as he nipped at her neck.

This was modus operandi for them, but something felt different tonight. Cassie didn’t feel the usual thrill of being with him, instead, it made her uncomfortable. She pushed away from him, needing space.

“What’s wrong Bae?” he asked, reaching out for her hand.

“Nathan, I’m seeing Brian,” she said. “We’re here together.”

“What, here in the room?” he asked looking around for the evidence of another man.

She shook her head. “No,” she said, “but we are here together as a couple.”

Nathan flashed her his trademark smile, the one that usually made her weak in the knees. “But that doesn’t apply to us,” he said. “And it’s been ages since we were together.” He pulled her back into his arms and caressed her cheek.

She pulled out of his arms again and walked over to the window to put some space between them. “Nathan, you get married in three days. Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be with Ainsley?”

He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his head, his jaw clenching. “I’ve explained all this to you Cassie,” he said. “I’m only marrying her because my father needs her father’s company. I thought you understood that.”

“But you’re sleeping with her and you intend to have a family together,” she said, speaking out the words that she had been hiding from.

“Well, yeah,” he answered like she was being silly. “It wouldn’t be much of a marriage if I didn’t.”

“And what about me, Nathan?” she asked.

“Bae,” he said, his voice softening, “you know how I feel about you. I love you and I always will love you.”

“So why don’t you marry me?” she asked, blurting out the question that had been plaguing her.

“I explained this to you Cassie,” he said, his patience waning. “I can’t marry you. You live in Melbourne, your life and career is there.”

“I could move back here,” she said, taking a step towards him.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” he said. “I would never expect you to give up your life for me.”

“But what if I wanted to? I’m sure I could get a job here in the same field and then we could be together all the time.”

“You would end up hating me,” he said. “You would resent me for making you give up everything you have built for yourself and that would break me. Bae, what we have, it works. If you want to keep seeing Brian, then I’m fine with that. We can still keep our arrangement.”

“So you would be happy sharing me with Brian?” she asked, her stomach churning.

“Well, it’s not exactly sharing,” he said reaching out for her hands again.

She let him pull her into him and looked up into the eyes that she had dreamed about for so long. He was telling her that he loved her and always would, but he was also telling her he would never marry her. Giving with one hand and taking away with the other.

He dipped his head and captured her lips in a tender kiss, but for the first time since she and Nathan had begun their arrangement, it felt wrong. He was willfully cheating on his wife-to-be and she was a willing accomplice. Not to mention what she was doing to Brian. They may not be actually, officially, in a relationship, but as far as Nathan was concerned they were. If she went through with this tonight, she would put Brian in a very bad position.

She pushed Nathan away again. “I can’t do this,” she said. “Brian and I are in a relationship and I won’t betray him like this.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Nathan growled at her. “Do you know what I’m risking by coming here tonight? If Ainsley found out, the wedding would be off and my father’s business deal would be in the toilet.”

“That’s not my responsibility,” Cassie said, raising her chin defiantly.

“Are you in love with him?” Nathan said harshly. “Or is it his money you’re after?” His face screwed up into an ugly sneer and Cassie had a glimpse of a man she didn’t even know.

“I think you should leave,” she said her palm itching to make an imprint on his face.

“Does Brian know that I screwed you? Does he know we’ve been fucking like bunnies for years?”

“Get out Nathan,” she said, refusing to be intimidated by his vulgar words.

He gave her one last look and then shook his head and stormed out, slamming the door behind him. She crumpled to the floor and began to sob. Nathan had never been cruel to her. He’d never made her feel like a cheap screw before. But the words he’d said to her tonight cut her deep.

There was banging on her door and she jumped.

“Go away Nathan,” she yelled. “Leave me alone.”

“Cassie, it’s Brian. Let me in.”

She jumped to her feet and ran to the door pulling it open. Brian stood there, his green eyes wild, his hair in disarray like he had been running his fingers through it.

“Brian,” she whispered and collapsed into his arms.

Brian wrapped his arms around a trembling Cassie and held her tight. He backed her into the room, letting the door close behind him.

“Shh,” he mumbled into her hair, caressing her back as she sobbed into his shoulder. He had no doubt that this was because of Nathan and he really wanted to hurt the bastard. He didn’t know how he was going to get through the next few days without decking him.

He maneuvered them until they sat on the edge of her bed. Her room wasn’t a suite and there was no couch, so it was the bed or the floor. He kept his arms around her and let her cry, murmuring soothing noises and rubbing her back until her sobs quietened.

She held onto him like she was afraid he would let her go and he tightened his hold on her to let her know he wasn’t going anywhere. He lay back on the bed, pulling her down with him, and snuggling her under his arm so that her head rested on his chest. He continued to stroke her back as she soaked up his attention.

“I’m so sorry about earlier,” she said, her voice hoarse from crying. “You were right. I’m nothing more than a booty call to Nathan.”

“I was stupid and jealous,” he said, running his fingers through her hair, pulling it out of its ponytail, and spreading the red gold strands along the pillow.

“No, you were right,” she said and sighed. “I asked him to choose me and he said he wouldn’t.”

“He’s a fucking retard,” Brian growled, pulling her tighter against him.

“He asked me if you knew that he and I had slept together. He might say something to you.”

“I’ll handle my stepbrother, baby,” he said. “Don’t you worry about it?”

“Why are you so good to me Brian?” she asked, tipping her head up to look at him.

Her eyes were red-rimmed and glassy with tears and her face was so sad that it broke his heart. He couldn’t help the soft kiss that he brushed across her lips.

“Cassie, I think the absolute world of you. You deserve so much better than Nathan. You deserve someone who worships the ground you walk on.”

“Kiss me, Brian,” she said and he couldn’t deny her.

He dropped his lips to hers and languidly slid them across the soft pillows that were her lips. He tasted the salt of her tears and it caused his heart to clench. He wanted to take away all her hurt, all her pain. He wanted to protect her from the ugliness of people like Nathan.

She opened her mouth under his and he slid his tongue inside, tasting her and a soft moan escaped from his throat. Her hands snaked up into his hair and her body shuddered against his as his hands ran down her back. He rolled her on top of him and she settled between his legs, her soft core making contact with his hardness. He couldn’t hide the way he felt about her or what his body yearned to do with her.

She moved against him and he tightened his arms around her to keep her still.

“Cassie,” he warned in a gruff voice.

“I want you Brian,” she whispered into his neck. “I need you.”