A day in my life

Hi there, how is it going in your life? I hope for you that its going alright for you as it certainly wasn't going well for me back then.

My life has always been a rollercoaster to say the least. Not that I didn't try but at some point I just, gave up I think?

Let's start from the beginning shall we?

I was born into a average household like the majority of people. A mother, a father, some family members and grandparents. It wasn't that early when things started going south in my life.

My father was abusive towards my mother, don't know the exact reason for it but it was related to money. I would have been three to four years old when I came to realize that. I don't have all the memories of those times but there was one incident that I clearly remembered to this day. That incident imprinted on my mind it would seem.

On day in the evening things got out of hand it would seem. The usual fight got a lot brutal, the hair pulling the slaps didn't stop that day. Seeing this my response was what I think any child would have when he sees his mother being beaten, I tried to stop the fight, got inbetween them to stop my father from hiting my mother. I may have tried to push him away from my mother. I don't remember clearly what I did but I do clearly remember the response I got from my father. He grabbed me and threw me away onto the bed in our room. I fell just short of hitting my head on the headboard of the bed.

This clearly was not the response I was excepting. I don't remember how I got out of that house after that, what I do remember was telling the police what my father did to my mother and that was it. That was last time I had any meaningful intervention in my life from my father.

I started living with the maternal side of my family. Life had became a bit peaceful for a few years, the crying had not stopped but it became less frequent. It wasn't long before my mother bought of small house of our own and we started living there. It was very fortunate that my mother had a job so we weren't dependent on anyone for our life.

I got to school and thing went well there. The occasional distress I felt when topic of my father was brought up by me peers and being compared to my father when my mother got angry aside I faced no major challenge but I would say it made my emotional quotient grow quiet fast, I was a good student and things were going well and looking back I see a little too well for my life. I was really happy in that time period.

Too throw another downhill slope in my life my mother was diagnosed with blood cancer. When I got the news I accepted it too easily. I thought it was a good thing that it was caught early on. I thought it would go away with medication. Then started the hospital visits, tests and all that chemotherapy. A glimmer of hope emerged when my mother successfully completed the therapy and after a while got all clear from the doctor, it was a happy occassion but not long after the pandemic came.

My mother got infected and started showing the symptoms. The fever won't go down. Try as I might but it didn't go down. Reaching the heights of 104°F and that was when I got scared. Even in her chemo I didn't see my mother so weak.

Had to transfer her to the hospital, I wasn't able to be at her side.

She never came out of that hospital. I had prayed to the gods desperately to spare her but it wasn't the case.

The tragedy was when I couldn't even see her face one last time. Had to cremate her without even seeing her.

After that life just went down and down further. I had lost hope in life and everyday before going to sleep I prayed that any entity out there would just take me in my sleep. I was too much of a coward to take my own life with my own two hands you see.

One day it would seem my silent prayers were answered...