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[??? book - D grade] [Description: A third-rate novel.] Reviews: - "5 stars: It's so amazing." - "5 stars: I like it when the MC dies a bunch of times!" - "1 star: It's really boring, but the MC is really hot!" Actual synopsis: Steven is just a normal kid, but lately, he can't seem to remember his last name or control his weird dreams. Nope. He wakes up in an empty flower field, with nothing but a school ID in his hands. Oh... and there's a talking flower next to him. Alternative Title: NPC.com Site kept blacklisting my novel due to the .com.

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48 Chs

A GRILLED QI SANDWICH

'The Snake, the Crow, and the Light! Part I' 

Link: https://www.metube.com/watch?v=sb6PXX_XXX [Install meTube] [Share]

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Daily Vlog With my Besties! #34

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Lucius TV [Subscribe] . . . [5 Likes] [Dislike] [Share] [. . .]

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"Hi guys, welcome to my channel! It's ya boy, Lucius, with my best friends, Sinclair and Samjo."

Say hi guys." 

[They say hi]

"I'm making this video, cause right now, we're all staying at my grandad's house, cause that's apparently where we're safe."

"Apparently, my dad and Samjo's dad are fighting some evil monster!" Lucius grinned. "Some really mean snakes!" 

"Wait, Sinclair." Lucius frowned, "I don't mean you!"

Lucius's animated explanation was cut short when his arm, flailing in excitement, knocked over a vase standing on a nearby table. The porcelain shattered, and the room was filled with the sound of cracking ceramic.

"Lucius!" a stern voice snapped. It was the head-maid, a rigid woman with tightly pulled-back hair. "How many times have I told you to be careful in this room? You know how your grandfather values these antiques!"

Lucius's face turned a shade of crimson, but before he could stammer an apology, Sinclair, looking younger and more fragile next to the maid's imposing figure, stepped forward.

"I-it's my fault," Sinclair stammered, his green eyes wide. "I distracted Lucius. Please don't blame him."

The maid's eyes narrowed, and she looked as if she was about to unleash a tirade, but Samjo, who had been quietly observing, came to his defense.

"Sorry Ma'am," Samjo said, his youthful face smiling politely, "My family will reimburse the money, if necessary. We'll clean it up, won't we, Lucius?"

Lucius nodded.

"Oh, you're so sweet," The maid sighed, "Now wouldn't it be nice if all Lucius's friends were like that." She glanced over at Sinclair. "No, no. It's fine, let me get a broom."

As she walked away, Samjo stuck out a tongue. "Boo!"

"Anyway, guys, I'm gonna end the video here!" Lucius nervously did his outro. "Bye! Please subscribe!"

[END OF CLIP]

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"AH-HA-HA-HA," Mrs. Watson bellowed. "NOW THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO SEE!"

Steven smiled. The lunch lady was quite a delightful person to be around. When she had seen him carry back a bunch of food on a dainty tray, she asked him if he was eating it all. Of course, madam, he told her. He sat down at his table and wolfed it down in front of her. It was delicious… and he had to say: compliments to the chef.

"Oh no, no, no." Mrs. Watson blushed. "I'm not that good. It's a team effort."

Steven replied that she should't sell herself short. Her spouse was lucky to have her.

"Now, now." Mrs. Watson smiled, "Oh my, you remind me of my grandson. So adorable and well-behaved, too."

Zero and Mayo looked at each other.

Lunch ended pretty fast after that. Steven didn't really recall much else happening: Zero was quietly eating nothing; Mayo was not eating mayonnaise; and both Lucius and Sinclair didn't appear to have the appetite for a conversation. 

When gym rolled around, the group went in to see Captain Baker sleeping soundly. For some reason, most of the students seemed to accept it now. They went up to the closets, pulled out the gym equipment, and engaged in all sorts of wild activities. Even as the gymnasium started catching on fire (again?), the gym teacher happily snored through it all.

Mayo, Zero, and Steven sat at one corner of the floor, away from the mess that was blazing across the gym.

"Ok, so my mediterraneans are open." Steven repeated.

"Your meridians," Zero quietly corrected. "You have innate open meridians."

Steven blinked, glancing between Zero and Mayo, "Is that a good or bad thing?"

"It means you're suited for traditional cultivation." Mayo answered as she looked at Zero.

"I just got this book," the white-haired boy showed it to them. He read the book title in his usual voice: "Cultivation 101."

Steven squinted. It looked awfully familiar. Was it…? 

"I took it," Zero confirmed, nonchalantly. (From the gym teacher.)

"R-ight." 

"Traditional cultivation has its roots in Chinese alchemy." Zero lightly introduced in his usual flat tone, "The ancient Chinese taoists saw cultivation as Neidan, or internal alchemy." 

Steven didn't understand what that meant, but he nodded.

"But hey, cultivation's way cooler than that!" Mayo leaned in, grinning. "Create as many cores as you need, or none at all. It's really up to you."

"Or you can temper your body into the 'core'," Zero said, "Or cultivate your soul."

A flaming dodgeball flew at Zero from behind, but he simply angled his head as it came, narrowly missing it: "Or do all three." 

"Which makes sense, when you consider that Jindan translates to the 'golden elixir' and is like the western 'elixir of life'." Mayo pointed out. "The taoists just took it as a way to move it inside the body rather than externally creating it."

That made sense.

Besides them, a boy quickly sat down. His posture was hunched down, and he had a painful look on his face… bruises. Face wincing. Fiddling with a hoodie, the drawstrings. Trying to conceal his ears. 

As if noticing them, he stuttered a timid "hi," before hiding the top of his head beneath his hoodie.

Steven looked at his face. It wasn't a face you'd easily forget, but he hesitated to ask. He glanced at Zero and Mayo and they shared a look. The boy's body language read: "please… don't," as in "please don't ask, don't pry."

"I'm fine." 

As outsiders, maybe they shouldn't open that can of worms.

"So, what's the big deal with traditional cultivation?" Steven coughed, looking at Mayo for an answer. 

"Steven, traditional cultivation is the ultimate starter manual!" Mayo's high-strung enthusiasm was almost contagious, "It's tried, tested, and versatile. It's your starter pack to really… anything, especially if you didn't inherit a cool family skill or ability." 

"It's like the education system," Zero said, "Some people know what they want to do, but others don't, and become unemployed."

"Yeah." Mayo agreed.

Steven couldn't help steal a quick glance at the boy again. His gray cat-like eyes looked familiar… Kuro, wasn't it? 

Zero opened the book and started flipping through it, "Traditional cultivation follows strict stages. The first stage: Gathering Qi." He read out loud.

"That's the stage you are on." Mayo said. 

"Then, there's the second stage: Qi Condensation, where you condense the Qi into a liquid state to form a sea, known as the spiritual sea." Zero softly said, "And the third stage: Core Formation is when you mold that spiritual sea into a solid state: the Jindan."

"WHERE IS HE?" a voice roared through the gym. Besides them, Kuro winced and sunk his head lower. 

"And what can you do with Qi again?" Steven asked, tilting his head.

"It's like mana, like in video games! It allows you to use all kinds of abilities efficiently." Mayo elaborated as she held up her fingers. "It powers magical abilities, allows you to augment your body, and accelerates healing. Plus, it also unlocks tons of martial arts and weapon techniques."

Mayo continued explaining:

"Well first," Mayo carried on, "Let me start with the basics: the energy you get from eating. That's called Gu Qi." 

"Like the bag?" Steven asked.

"No." Zero muttered, "Who names a bag Gu Qi?" 

"Anyway, you balance Gu Qi with the energy in the air," Mayo continued, "The energy you get from the air is called Kong Qi. And with the two together, you create Zong Qi, which is also known as…"

"Gathering Qi," Zero finished.

"Dang," Steven said, "I mean it's kinda clicking?" 

Only one way to find out. He took off his necklace to try it out.

At first, Steven felt nothing but a faint swirl, kinda like a cloud in his chest. When he dwelled deeper into the sensation, it morphed into this multi-colored nebula – one that revolved around its own black hole. 

Suddenly, it was as if someone flipped a switch inside him. He could feel everything - and he meant everything. Every vein, artery, and tiny capillary was like a mini highway, with his blood playing the steady role of rush-hour traffic. Each breath he took was an orchestra of tiny movements, his muscles and lungs whispering their own secret language in delicate murmurs. 

"See that," Mayo said, with her hands on his shoulder. She switched to English terms, probably to save him from a headache, "First, you transform that 'Gathering Qi' into something you can use, your 'True Qi'. To do that, all you need is some of your 'Origin Qi'."

"The energy that comes from within." Zero defined.

"Yeah, that," Mayo agreed, "to catalyze the process."

Steven wondered what that meant, but it didn't take long for him to find out. A stream of energy rushed out from his kidneys and melded with the gaseous energy inside his chest. The energy started trailing out, like it wanted to disperse everywhere: his limbs, his skeleton, and his muscles. 

Soon after, a tingling sensation zipped around his frame like a little bee.

Instantly, his skin felt more elastic and his muscles felt more robust. It felt like he could punch someone, and instead of getting beat up, he would be able to get at least one punch in. Oddly enough, that description seemed insulting to his capabilities, but he let it slide.

Steven looked at Kuro again. The poor boy looked like he was struggling to breathe. "Hey, you okay?"

"I-" Kuro looked so nervous. 

"Dude, if anything is wrong," Steven said, "Just tell us."

He reached over to grab Kuro closer, whose neck seemed to flinch under Steven's touch. In that instant, a dodgeball flew over, hitting what would have been Kuro's head if it hadn't been bent down by Steven.

The ball cracked the ground, which began to repair itself. 

"There you are!" The boy, who had thrown the ball, flashed a smirk. "I was trying to find you." 

"Hey." He walked over. "Answer me, won't you?" 

"I-" Kuro's body seemed to shake.

"Aww, my little kitten," The boy cooed. "Why'd you run off?"

Besides him, his friends laughed. 

"What are you doing?" Mayo coldly said.

"Did someone say something?" The boy flashed a condescending smile to his friends, "Well, I don't know. I'm talking to my dear friend Kuro." 

"Isn't. That. Right?" The boy bent down and tapped Kuro with his finger with each word. "Isn't that right?" he said, which really meant 'what are you gonna do about it, huh?' 

"Y-yeah," Kuro nodded, his body trembling. 

"After all, he owes me a great deal." The boy smiled, looking at the three, like he was saying: 'can you believe this kid?' He shook his head playfully. "I'd said I'd pay you back, didn't I?"

His gaze turned stern, and he whispered something only the four of them could hear.

"So why'd you embarrass me in front of my friends." The words grew cold. 

"Heyyy… Jaxon," one of the sidelined characters said, "Didn't you rescue him from somewhere?"

Jaxon put on a smile and looked back at his friends, his hands saying: 'ah, yes,' while his mouth said, "Oh no, it wasn't me. It was my family. See, we rescued his sisters first, who begged for us to find him."

"It took us a great deal of time to find them." The boy smiled, "I was so glad that my family took them in."

A snicker. 

"I don't know what your family is doing," one of the other boys said, "letting them in, adopting them." 

Jaxon's smile faltered, before quickly regaining his composure. "No, no, no. Don't you know? Their bone's have… uses." 

"Hey Kuro," He smirked. "Come on, back me up on that?" 

It was at that point that a ball hit Jaxon's face. 

Two balls.

Balls just hit his face, slapping him like plap-plap-plap, double decking and bagging him as he stammered, surprised. 

For a second, Jaxon didn't move. His face was red. Stinging-red. 

He looked ahead at Steven, who happened to be next to a tennis ball-firing machine. 

"Oh, sorry." Steven said earnestly. "My bad, foot kicked it accidentally. I was trying to get the balls to stop hitting your face."

Jaxon's friends began laughing, and boy, oh boy, if that face of his could go any redder, well it did. It reminded Steven of a juicy, summer tomato. 

"Y-" Jaxon furiously picked up a dodgeball. He shook his head, like he was trying to shake his anger off, his teeth gnashed to the side. "So you like to play like that, huh?" 

"Dodgeball match, you and me." He challenged, laughing unkindly, "1v1, you scared?" 

"Nah, I'm good," Steven casually replied, glancing briefly at something in his contacts before shooting a message to Jaxon. Whatever it was, it seemed to hit the mark.

Jaxon's face paled, but he hid his reaction under shaking fists. 

"I wonder what that's about." Steven said, innocently. 

"Wuss," Jaxon sneered, "Let's go." He turned back to his friends with a defiant glare, as if daring them to say anything. 

Meanwhile, Steven redirected the conversation. "So… about that, cultivating thing?"

He kind of got it now. Cultivation was like a recipe.

- - -

Steven's Sandwich Recipe:

"Ingredients:

2 large Gu* Qi 

2 slices of Kong* Qi

1 tablespoon unsalted human

1 cup of finely diced Yuan* Qi

2 tablespoons grated water, any kind

3 to 4 cherry Zong* Qi, cut in half and sprinkled lightly with salt

1. Prep the Gu Qi:

In a bowl, beat the Gu Qi with a fork until the essence of the food starts coming out.

2. Melt the human:

In a nonstick skillet over medium-low heat, melt the human.

3. Add the Gu Qi and cook evenly:

Add the Gu Qi bag to the skillet and cook without stirring until the edges begin to set. With a spatula, push the edges toward the center of the pan and tilt the pan.

4. Toast the Kong Qi:

Add two slices of Kong Qi to the skillet and toast them until slightly golden and airy.

5. Fill the sandwich:

Place the Gu Qi between the two slices of Kong Qi, allowing the nice, unsalted human to form a 'Zong-Qi-sandwich'. At this step, the grated water, salt, and Yuan Qi should be added in a line down the center of the sandwich and cooked for about 1 minute longer, or until the Gong Qi is mostly set, but still a little soft in the center.

6. Cut and plate the sandwich:

Slide the spatula around one side of the sandwich at the edge to loosen it. It should stick to the pan a bit due to the grated water, so be extra careful. Carefully use the unsalted human to cut the sandwich into two. You now have a TRUE Qi Sandwich. Voila!

Background: A true qi sandwich, also known as a 'Zhen* Qi pan tostado' in Mexico, is a sandwich with two purposes. It can Wei*-ghed to see how strong it is or jellified for some extra jiggliness. Jellif-Ying* makes the sandwich an extra healing experience. Or, if you excel at wei-ying things, you can use it for both purposes."

"My first grilled Qi Sandwich and it was delicious," raves Mayo: "Thank you for the recipe."

"I learned in a restaurant somewhere that if you use a larger pan and leave the True Qi sandwich open on low heat to fry… the human will be melted perfectly and the outsides will be perfectly golden," according to nobody.

"To make a TRUE Qi sandwich awesome, just sprinkle some Parmesan on the buttered Kong Qi," says Steven. "WOW, what an upgrade in flavor."

Steven’s Qi-Z Encyclopedia: 

——————————— 

 *Gu: food.

 *Kong: air.

 *Zong: normal; food + air = normal. 

 *Yuan: origin.

 *Zhen: true; normal + origin = true. 

 *Wei: defensive; first form of Zhen Qi. 

*Ying: nutritive; second form of Zhen Qi.

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