4

Instead of going home, I chose to chill myself at the pier, just a few blocks away from my cafe. I think, going home doesn't help me at all. I can't sleep, either! So, let's just chill here, and enjoy the night breeze with a nice cold brew coffee that I bought at the Pier's mart.

In my mind, I am somehow frustrated with Jun. Come to think of it, at some point, he is not all wrong. I'm the one who chose to date privately. So, it's understandable that he chose to lie instead of telling the truth.

But why now? Why in front of the girl? Does he keep a secret that I don't know? Or... Has he had enough of me?

To be honest, I never thought this relationship would work anyway! I don't know why I accepted him in the first place. Maybe he lingered around too much, and he was the first person that I saw after I woke up from the accident. His attentiveness and caring gestures melt me. And for that, I thought I wanna give him a chance.

But, I never thought this was more than just a normal relationship! I forgot that he's an idol and his personal life is not so personal.

Sometimes, when I'm around Jun, I feel empty. He is there for me, with me. But I don't why I feel alone. My heart beats but not for him. I feel like I lost something. But I don't know what.

I'm not sure what it is.

I've been searching for the answer lately. These gloomy feelings, plus those nightmares that I have every night, prick my curiosity.

What is wrong with me?

I sip the last drop of the cold brew coffee when I see a woman sitting on the bench next to me. She's quite far from me, but I can hear her sniffing, like crying. It's loud! Especially when the pier is kinda of silent at this hour.

So, I decided to go to her. Who knows, maybe she's in trouble!

"Miss, are you okay?" I ask her politely. She looks up.

"Oh, Ivry! What are you doing here? What happened?"

It's the woman that I met at the market this morning! Her nose is as red as Rudolph's nose. She is bawling. This is not a cry anymore, I think!

"Oh, it's you!" she responded to me between her sobs.

"Yeah, it's me. Karin. What happened? Did you burn your kitchen or what?"

I make a joke so she won't feel bad or embarrassed.

"No... I wish I was! But, I'm not..."

"What happened? You can share if you want to..."

"My boyfriend. He... Why is he so cold toward me? I was baking the whole day! All I want is his opinion about the final product. But he brushed me away from him! He acted as if I did not exist!" then Ivry continued bawling her eyes out.

I feel pity for her, but of course, there is nothing that I can do. I give her a pack of tissues and slowly sit next to her. At this stage, I can only console her. I'm broken myself, so yeah... Let these broken-hearted girls hang around for a bit.

"Love... It's difficult to understand. One time, it seems to be true. Sometimes, it sounds ridiculous!"

Ivry hands the tissue pack back to me. I grab it while smiling at her.

"You sound like you have a problem as well..."

"Nah. Mine wasn't that serious," I reply.

"Every problem is serious, Karin! I think you might be too chill," I laugh when I hear that from Ivry.

"There's nothing to whine about when you're at my age. I'm not a kid anymore,"

"We still have a kid in us..."

"True. But when it comes to a problem like this, I think I'm too old to whine about it,"

"You keep repeating that you are old. How old are you?" asks Ivry. I give her a vague smile.

"I'm gonna be 40 in 5 years..."

"You're kidding, right?" Ivry almost jumps from her seat.

"Why?"

"You look young! I thought you were about my age!" I shake my head, in disbelief.

"How old are you?" I inquired her.

"I'm 24 years old..."

"Do you think you can own a cafe at that age?"

"Nothing is impossible, Karin..."

"If your family is wealthy, yeah... Of course!" I chuckle a bit. Come to think about it, I started my business when I was 25. From a small stall to the shop lot.

Guess my theory is partially wrong! Erk!

"Do you think age matters when it comes to a relationship?"

I take some time to digest the question.

"What kind of relationship? Friendship? Romantic?" I throw back the question to her.

"My boyfriend is older than me. Too old. I think he saw me as a kid rather than a real woman,"

"If that's true, why he wanna be your boyfriend?" I ask.

"Now that I think about it... I guess he must feel the pressure from his family,"

My brows almost entwined together.

"Enlight me, please? He is your boyfriend or this is a family matchmaking?"

Ivry stares at the sky. Her lips form a straight line before she continues.

"My family set us up. But, I have a prolonged crush on him. Since I was in the middle school. Then, I heard he was engaged to someone, so I backed off and continued my study abroad..." she takes a deep breath before continuing. "And when I learn the engagement is officially off, I ask my mother to set us up again."

I shake my head in tiny and chuckle.

"You must think that I'm a silly girl who believes that puppy love can turn into a real one!" Ivry swats me with her glare.

"No... I'm not! It's just... Cute... I don't know why I find it cute..."

I look at her. I can see her face glowing up a bit.

"Love is unreasonable. Age, gender, ethnicity... There is no relevancy in those when it comes to love. It's all about the heart that wants. And the effort to give and take. It's unpredictable when it comes to love..." I take a glance at Ivry. "However, what matters the most is to put ourselves as the top priority. Love you before anyone else," I continue.

I can't say anything more than that. And, I'm not in a place to judge her for forcing the man to love her. Maybe she has her reason to admire him for so long. I do realize, I'm not in a position to talk and give advice to her, as I have issues on my own as well! The thing that I can do is to make her heart at ease.

"Thanks, Karin. To be honest, I don't need constant attention. I just wanna have someone that can listen. A life like mine is boring as hell! I don't have friends, I do have but not a lot! I just want him to sit down and listen. At least, look at me. I don't want him to fall in love with me in the blink of an eye," she sighs. "I just want him to look at me, even just for a moment."

I can see the brink of tears coming from her eyes. She puts me in a rough spot now! I'm teary as well! Gosh!

"Ivry, do you love this man?"

"I do..."

"Then stop crying!"

Ivry watches me in confusion.

"Stop crying. Wake up and fight for his love! At the end of the day, love wins! Believe me! Muster your courage and effort!" I tap her shoulder a few times to encourage her.

Maybe she sees hope by the end of a dark, long alley. She suddenly stands up and holds her fist tight.

"Thanks for the peep talk, Karin! Now, I dare to fight for my own. I will make him fall for me. Slowly but surely!"

"Yes! Go for it!"

I smile as she gives me a tight hug. A bit tighter, like a python who tried to kill its victim! But at least I know, I lift her spirit.

It lifts mine as well!