Chapter 167: WHAT AM I WORTH?

(155's POV)

Sellena seemed to be very quiet,

Which is to me, quite unfortunate.

I thought she'd be fun to communicate,

But someone, she seemed just to observe her surroundings,

rummage through Haborym's notes,

and tries so hard to change her fate.

I feel so low compared to her.

She was trying everything, as I only sweep the floor.

She'd act so differently though, whenever Haborym would enter,

Effectively tricking him, making things go in favor.

But nonetheless, I could see her charm,

She may be weak, but her deceit can cause harm.

She's strong because people around her deem her frail,

When she's just as deadly, as a wolf hunting prey.

She effectively convinced me to help her, but why?

Is there something so convincing about her now green eyes?

Sometimes...I feel like she's a different person,

Far dangerous, than the princess I'm used to.

Sometimes...brown eyes will kindly look at me,

Sometimes...venomous emerald orbs will be what I see.

She'd talk paragraphs about her plans,

Which to me...felt so long to recall at once.

I wonder if helping her will be a waste of time,

Since no got out of this place...alive.

I told her to forget Asmodeus and just escape,

And she hasn't mentioned that name ever since.

I wonder if she's okay.

Or if it's her way of coping in this blood stenched place.

I wonder if she feels as trapped as I,

If she feels depressed, if she still feels alive.

Sometimes, I wanted to ask her,

But whenever I would, my mouth would stutter.

And when I'd pretend I'm not fazed by her,

She'd speak so smart with me, that I can't help but feel like a failure.

"Ama," she called in that sweet tone again,

After she realized I'm dozing off again...

I can't simply comprehend,

If her plans are too smart for me or doesn't make sense.

She wanted to get out, so desperately,

But as hopeful as she is, she forgets it's reality.

You can't get out of this place simply...

Without tricking the demon lords, your plans would bear empty.

But she doesn't, or at least is still underestimating their intellegence.

She hated the demons, perhaps more than I do,

which I guess makes sense.

I see some demons as either enemy or friends,

Since..I guess after a long while, I'm kinda like them.

I smiled at her, telling her to go on,

Not wanting those round eyes to lose hope.

But I feel angry, and confused she still talked,

Not realizing the hint of delusion, in her voice.

"Don't you want to rest?" I asked,

She shook her head,

"But you must."

I pointed at the giant burns on her hands,

"You may get infection,

and you won't like that."

I held her arm, and saw how bad it was,

Damn, this girl doesn't know how to give up.

And what confuses me the most was how she still prays to God,

Does He really do anything?

Or am I just really a brat.

Still, I'd like to think I'm too dirty to call to Him anyways,

Would He...really hear me out too?

Hah, I guess it's THAT hard for me to pray.

But seeing her kneel on the bed, solemnly seeking for God's help,

Woke mix feelings in me, sometimes I want to laugh at her, and sometimes...

I feel depressed.

Like I'm longing for the same connection,

But I forgot how it feels like.

After all it was a long time ago,

When my prayers were answered before my eyes.

I feel...nothing now, joy only sparks at a bountiful plate of food,

Other than that, I feel lonely, empty as should.

"She's sleeping. Aren't you going to sleep too?"

Haborym asked, but he just got home too.

He looked sleepy, and tired and weak,

But he offered his sole bed, despite the bag under his eyes getting big.

"Do you want a massage?" I asked, and he looked surprised,

"Now are you planning my death? Not used to you, being this kind,"

I poked his nose playfully, as he frowns with his eyes,

"Nah, I knew it. You want something in return, no?"

"Nah, I just want to be nice."

He thinks, or I guess he does? And then he turns around,

"Make sure to relieve all the stress,"

"Yah, you'll sleep like a baby,

in this skill I'm kinda proud."

He speaks nothing more, as he looks at his notes,

I slapped his hand, "You always think of work."

"But I need to do this. It's my purpose,"

"No, that's not all you're worth.

You're not like me, so enjoy your life a bit,"

He then becomes quiet, as he looks at me.

I don't know if he wanted to say anything,

Or if he's just there to be creepy like most men,

But I guess I judged him too early,

When all he did was tie my hair.

"It's growing longer, I don't want one get stuck in your eye,"

"Are you planning my death as well? Why are you uncharistically kind?"

His eyes smiled, since its the only thing I can see anyways,

But said nothing more, as he again, turned the other way.

"Okay...I guess you could start,"

And I did. And the next scenes, I can't help but laugh,

He seemed like he just moaned or something,

And my chuckles were so loud even Sellena awoken.

Sellena said nothing though,

But I saw her smile at me,

I don't know what it's for,

Is it support or is she mocking me.

Either ways, I found myself apologizing to the woman I envy most,

And she only gave me another endearing smile as Haborym grunted from embarrassment.

"It's that good, huh, Haborym?"

He only sighed and hid his face with his palm,

although he's already wearing a mask, just what more is he hiding?

"You smell awful though, you need to change some clothes,"

"They all smell the same, I'm too tired to wash those."

"Ah, I'll clean them tomorrow,"

"Good then, keep doing all your work."

The hell.

Not even a thank you?

Well...what do I expect,

From a busy demon that I bet forgets to brush his teeth.

He coughs, and it startles me.

And that was when I noticed that he had injuries.

"What happened?" I don't know if I asked out of worry or curiousity.

But he didn't even looked at me.

I asked again, this time louder,

And it was effective, as he looked at me, although his voice sounds tired.

"Some of my men fought...and I had to stop them,

Tsk, I don't even know what I did to deserve this."

He removes his gloves and showed me his fresh wounds,

"And to tell you the truth, this is all I'm worth.

Heh, how funny, huh? I guess somehow we really are all slaves,

One day, they won't even remember our names.

To be honest, I really wanted a break,

But...that'd only happen, when I'm out of breath.

You're not alone,

This is all I'm worth anyways."

"But, do you have anymore wounds?

Why didn't you have them checked?"

"Azazel is busy mending my men,

I can survive this. I can conquer this bit of pain."

"Look, I'm no doctor, but I know how to clean them,

So let me see, so you won't have any more problems."

Haborym removes his mask,

And right then, I was so sure he smiled.

He looks at me, with that rare warm gaze,

As he whispers, "Thanks, anyways."

...

(Sellena's POV)

Although I had a bad feeling that something bad may be to come,

I cannot help but feel corrected somehow.

Seeing this side of them, Haborym doesn't seem as bad,

And I guess he needed saving as well,

but the question is...

is that what he want?

My eyes remained closed as I pretend to sleep,

And I heard them laughing at each other as they continue to speak,

And after a while, I heard nothing but silence,

And I wonder, just what at that time, was happening.

I opened for a little peak,

And saw something I thought I'd never see.

Haborym embraced 155, like a child would finding for comfort,

As 155 tightens it,

Two tired souls...finding calm in help of each other.

I couldn't help but feel teary,

As I remember my family,

My friends, and Asmodeus,

How are they now?

I kept hoping they're happy,

Although the answer is obvious.

I tried to stop myself from the urge to sniff,

As I look at them savor the moment,

with...

I wiped it off, as my vision becomes blurry,

And because of the noises I made,

They became aware of me.

I shifted around in embarrassment,

As I could only guess, what happened next.

Soon, I fell asleep with racing thoughts,

And a hard lump feeling in my chest.

I wanted so much to escape from this hell,

But for now, I needed a rest.

A temporary escape of what I wish will be a nice dream,

But...not all wishes come true to me.

Than dreams of paradise I saw nothing but flames and an ascending blinding light,

I tried to endure the pain, but soon I lost sight,

The feeling felt so real, and the blood from my eyes poured down,

I saw nothing but black,

As my hands could touch the slimy liquid,

and my ears heard the loud shocking blast.

I felt lost, and soon ran without knowing which I'm going to,

I feel even more scared, when I felt my bare feet stepping on what seemed like wet bones,

I heard nothing but those explosions, and no other voice,

That I began to wonder, am I all alone?

Soon, the dream ends, by the time my body felt like falling,

And I awoke greeted by the warm sunlight,

And 155's raspy, "Good morning,"

I smiled at her, but my eyes may have gave her a hint.

"Ah, I guess you had a bad dream."