My pointless lifestyle

I've never liked being normal or living like normal girls do. Mostly because I never knew how normal girls lived. I lived with my grandma and my little brother in the hinterlands. Going to school on daily basis was also a hassle because the distance from my house to the bustop was extremely far on foot. So I wasn't present in school everyday. Whenever my classmates asked why, I always brush the questions aside. I'm easily influenced. I only had one person I could call a friend, Mina. I think she's really friendly. On my first day at school, she noticed noone wanted to talk to me because I came from the hinterlands and she offered to eat with me. She met me after school and she walked with me until we got to the bustop. immediately after school I go back home straight. I never followed anybody anywhere. So people thought I was the quiet type but really I'm not. I just didn't want to get into trouble with my uncle when I get home. He visits us often to see if my brother and I are causing any trouble for my grandma. Whenever he gets any complaint about us comes running to our house. He hits us Everytime we come home late from school. Sometimes I even go to school with bruises on my face.

I never knew what having fun was like. I was also not interested in being a pretty girl. Mina had always wanted to take me to the hair salon but I always refused saying I was too busy. Actually I was, my entire family are farmers. We spend our everyday life either in the farm planting or harvesting or in the market selling. The only food I had ever tasted are the ones prepared by my grandma. I have never tried any snack to know what it tasted like. Most of my life felt like a bondage. I felt like I was being imprisoned in my own home. I think my brother and I were treated that way because of my my mom died trying to raise us. My father abandoned us immediately after my brother was born saying that he is not the father of the child. You wouldn't even believe it if I told you that my parents are not married. They never wanted to have kids but they eventually had me after trying everything to kill me in the womb. My father never liked me. I knew that even as a 3 years old child. When my mom gave birth to my brother, he left us with nothing to survive with. That's when my mom took us to the hinterlands where my grandma lived and we started living with her. My mom toiled day and night to ensure that we at least have food to eat. In that process, she died. Then my uncle decided to fund our education. But he's worse than the devil when it comes to that. I hated report card day because I never had good grades. I always end up with a pass. And I mean a really low pass very near to a fail. I also hated going to school for so many reasons. I didn't have friends, not do I have good grades, teachers sometimes embarrass me in class, I was bullied both at home and in school.

I really hate my life. Nothing good comes out of it. There is no single aspect of my life that I can confidently say I am good at. Although my name, Nabi, meant flower, my life wasn't anything like that. It's safe to say that my life is pointless.