Self Inflicted Pain

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In a room where the aura of death reeked and the stench of blood filled the air... A boy no older than 8 was sitting with dozens of crocodile clips attached to his body while some blood was oozing out his torso... These clips all seemed to connect to one thing... A battery.

His eyes were full of hesitance and defiance while he wore a crazed expression on his face. In his hands there seemed to be a somewhat sharp tool that could cut through skin like butter. But the tool was just about to fall out of his hands...They were trembling that much...

"J-Just a-a f-few cuts and stabs to make it realistic... Come on!" He fearfully yelled while bringing the tool to his chest after a deep breath.

--POV MC--

It's been a couple of minutes and I've been thinking... I need to get this over and done with... I even electrocuted myself a couple of times to keep me sane... I am human after all. First I started with giving myself a lot of cuts and stabs.

Then after I will target the major spots of the body... After I just pour some chakra into the battery and it will shock me to keep me awake. The more amount of chakra I put, the higher the voltage.

I already wasted most of my reserves healing him and myself with raw chakra... And then I need to detach one of my eyes from the retina to make it hang out. So it makes it look like I was about to get my eyes pulled out.

This means the surgery will be done on me... So this is why I healed myself first to hide any evidence of an eye transplant. And him too in case of a post mortem... They won't even find the rat poison in his body. No loopholes can be allowed.

I thought as I cut through some on my skin and into the ligament and tendons... Doing this would cause hidden injuries even medical ninjutsu wouldn't be able to heal... Meaning my prowess would go lower...

But I have the Sharingan now... That won't make up for all of it... But just a bit of time and I will be able to learn how to heal it myself. And there is also Tsunade, whose medical ninjutsu can heal soul injuries from the Shinigami.

Being deep in my thought's makes it easier to make this pass by... But still, it's too much for me to handle. I knew the pain was going to be this bad but I carried on with the plan. My injuries have to be equal to the others.

Otherwise, they will think why do they all have random injuries everywhere but coincidentally he has non on his critical points?... I did make this the work of an amateur after all. Someone who can torture all the precise points carefully.

And not hurt any major points means he knows the body very well... Who other than me went to the library to pick up a medical ninjutsu book just a few months ago?... Yeah... This is why everything has to be done thoroughly.

In this world, kids are suspected no matter who they are... Especially the veterans from the other era. Kids are the perfect tool for carrying out assassinations and finding out information. This is why people are more alert about them.

They can be swayed and manipulated easily as drinking and eating. Some people don't see this as a bottom line... They may have another thing as a bottom line... Something even worse or what they think is worse, like torturing a kid.

But for me... I see everything as equal... Not one thing is better than the other... Especially any sort of being... They are not better than others. Human's think they're above animals so they keep them as pets or just for food.

I just think we're no different from them. We kill to survive... Deceive to survive... Betray to survive... Throughout history, it's been the same with my previous and this world.

We step on other's to get to the top... And later down the line, we get stepped on by other people. I've been stepped on... But so what?.. I've stepped on other people countless times. Pride is just a useless thing that I don't get controlled by.

Nor do my emotions control me... Every decision I make is rational whether it's right or wrong.

Time went as quick as lighting as I look down to see my body covered in all sorts of disgusting wounds... Even my face looked hideous. But I don't care about looks if they don't bring me benefit.

But right now they do... Charisma, it's something I use to get things more easier than other people. And people feel more comfortable around a face that looks aesthetically pleasing. But that won't last for long.

If I had an ugly face would people still view me as they do now?... Kind, pure, innocent and someone whose smile warms up the room?... No. But even if I was born like that I'd have to use other ways to get what I want.

Something like appearance wouldn't stop me... It will only make my path harder. Just like right now my path is harder because of this... Time to stab this next to my chest.

I thought as put my tool with trembling hands to my chest...

*SLASH* *STAB*

I lodged as deep as I could making it miss my heart but going through a major part in the diaphragm... I felt time stop for a split second... It felt like I was in a dream... I even questioned myself... Did I actually do it?

But I immediately looked down and saw the cold metal penetrate my insides while the handle stuck out... Happiness and relief brushed over.

"FINALLY!!"

"I DID IT!!"

The adrenaline even made me numb to the pain itself. And the feeling of happiness made me feel little to nothing... Why was I so happy?... It was because I had what it takes to go further.

*COUGH*

Blood spurted from my mouth as I unstrapped myself from my chair and stood. I quickly put my hand over my mouth and wipe the blood off... But... As soon as I lifted my head up *BANG*... A huge headache flooded through my head.

My vision even started turning weird... I could now see two of my hands... Double vision... Oh no... This was not good...

"Shit!" I tried keeping my calm... But I realised that I lost calm the moment I started getting excited over an accomplishment...

This wasn't good... I thought as I immediately ran chakra through the battery...

*ZZZTT!!*

The feeling of my cells being jumpstarted made me go into a state of clarity... Focus... Focus. I closed my eyes for a bit of time. After I opened them I staggered toward Isene body and slashed his throat.

I even made some hand marks and bite marks on him for signs of resistance. Even my nails were dug into his skin. This shows I won by a hair's breadth and used some unexpected means to win.

I'm finally done... Now all that's left is for me to detach one of my eyes from its sockets...

So immediately I put my two fingers towards my left eye and dug my index finger in to feel the back... I winced in pain but still carried on as I finally reached the cord. I can't do this in one swift movement. But I have to make it look it he was about to do it...

Slowly pulling and loosening the cord I felt a burning sensation shoot through my eyes like my whole eye was on fire... But I have felt that a couple of times now so I am kind of used to it.

Next, I pulled my eyes out and made it hangover by a bit, making it look like it has popped out of my socket. Blood rushed through but I stopped it immediately with just a bit of chakra.

My clothes were ragged... Blood was flowing down my face from my scalp, dying some of my hair red. My mouth looked like it had been cut through the middle and so did my nose. And on the holes of my shirt... You could see the large cuts on my torso.

My feet were heavily gashed as my toenails were hanging off the skin and so did my fingernails...

Everything hurt... It hurt to breathe... Think... And walk... But the moment I knew I was on the last step made me put all of that to the back of my head, Otherwise, I would go insane no matter the strength of my will.

It's only the objective that matters. Emotions come later... Even after I have completed this and have time to relax. These emotions will take a mental toll on me. But so what?... Time can heal that.

I've had this kind of mental toll on me before... I just used stuff to vent it on. Stress accumulates to a certain degree... And then the bottle could explode. I'm still not at the stage where I can handle the aftermath of extreme stress levels.

I am only in my mid-30s mentally. As time goes on, my experience will be built up doing this kind of stuff. Then I will be able to handle the pressure... Even now I can handle the pressure... But not all of it.

I may not show it on the outside, but the inside is a whole different side. I never show any emotions that may create an opening for other people. Otherwise, they could use that to my advantage... And I never want my opponents to have an advantage.

As I was thinking this I looked back at the gruesome sight and looked at my state I immediately ran out and busted the doors open...

While panting heavily, I leapt from tree to tree with my hand on the wound of my chest... I was using pure strength... But I felt tired... Weak... My calves were burning out of exhaustion and my body was screaming at me to stop...

Maybe I should just sleep... I am near the village anyway... I thought as my gashed eyelids were half-closing...

I was nearly there... Even if I stop now my plan wouldn't fail... But the bare minimum isn't enough... I need to go further...

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Looking around at the dark streets of Konoha I staggered while still putting my hand tightly on the wound of my chest. My eyes were about to shut as I looked down on the ground. My vision became slanted...

It felt like it took me an eternity to get here...

My breathing was still heavy, but I never once tried to catch it.

"Ok... You can go sleep now, it's my turn to do the night shift for the first half of the night." A deep voice spoke.

"Damn, sleeping in the second half of the night is so much better... I wish it was my turn again. But again that timid one can't stand up to me so I always use him to watch the whole night." Another voice replied.

"Yeah, I do the same too."

As soon as I heard these voices... I changed my expression into one of turmoil... So many different expressions were written on my face. But most of all was despair and grievance. I was finally there... At the gate of the village.

After hearing the voice... I leaned on the wall for support and turned around the corner dropping on one knee.

*THUD*

--POV END--

"Who's there?!" They both simultaneously became alert at the sound of someone dropping.

As soon as they said that they both spoke in sign language and got into a stance... But when the figure came out of the shadows...

Their guards dropped as both of their mouths were wide open. And their eyes were looking at this person with pure confusion.

"H-Help!" He spoke in a croaky and weak voice while kneeling on the floor with his hands out.

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I genuinely appreciate it.

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