Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

This is for all you pervert's out there that keep complaining there's no lemons in my stories. This is a collection of the various women in Naruto's life that decided they want a little fox meat. So here are the lemons, don't forget the sugar.

Chapter 1

It was the weekly kunoichi meeting and the private ladies club was busy as the female ninja of Konoa, as well as Temari from Suna and several women who would be classified as missing nin, but the club was a sanctuary and there was no fighting allowed and everyone was considered free here. Men weren't allowed.

The table was loud with many discussions taking place, and the women as they drank talked about the men in their lives and how disappointed they were. It was neutral territory for the women to relax and gossip.

All of them except for the Fifth Hokage had something bad to say. She was smiling widely and had barely touched her sake all night.

Her second apprentice Sakura Haruno noticed this and called out. "Lady Tsunade, your in a good mood tonight."

Tsunade nodded. "I have reasons to be." She said and sipped her cup of sake. Shizune who was next to her giggled and this stalled the other discussions as everyone wanted to hear what put the blond haired Hokage in such a good mood.

Sakura frowned as she could only think of one thing. But surely that's not what has her in such a good mood. She thought while her inner self mocked her and called her an idiot.

"Well speak up, some of us are curious." Tsume Inuzuka called out from down the table by her daughter.

Tsunade sat back and had a grin that would put the Cheshire cat to shame. "Naruto has returned to Konoha."

Muttering went up at that and Sakura snorted. "So? He's still a baka."

Tsunade narrowed her eyes at her apprentice. "I guess that you're not as intelligent as your teachers claimed."

Sakura blinked at this and Shizune had a smile equal to her long time friend's and mentors.

Hinata who was across from Sakura shot the girl a dark look. "I…I don't know why you keep treating him badly Sakura." She said and Kurenai who was next to her looked at her usually timid student. "He would give you the world."

Tsunade smiled and shared a grin with Shizune. Anko saw it and blinked. She recognized the lecherous grin on the Hokage and her apprentice's faces. She wore it a time or two after…

This had Anko break out in laughter, which had several people snap their heads around to look at her.

When she calmed down she smirked as well. "Had a loooooong day did we Hokage-sama?" Anko said in a singsong voice. "Tell us, was it hard as a kunai?"

Shizune's giggle had many wonder if the girl was drunk, but they remembered she was a maudlin drunk and would become depressed.

Tsunade's grin grew. "You could say that Anko." The Hokage said taking a small sip from her sake mostly for a delaying tactic.

Shizune at this point had her face flushed as she leaned over and whispered in her friend and mentors ear getting a laugh from and a very lecherous grin from Tsunade.

"What are we talking about?" Sakura asked as she looked from her mentor then at the special Jonin who now had a matching grin.

"Got a sweet tooth now?" Anko asked.

Shizune made a low groan and Tsunade laughed. "I know Shizune does now. I don't think she'll ever be able to give him an exam again."

Anko smirked, "All right you three, spill." Temari said. She and Shikamaru were on the outs again and she came here to relax before going back to Suna.

"Like share with the rest of us as we're totally lost."

Tsume being one of the older women there smirked. "Got a little sweet meat did you?"

Anko grinned. "Nothing little there." She said and Kurenai smiled as Anko hummed happy birthday and everyone watched as the usually stoic Kurenai flushed. "Anko, behave."

"Nuh-uh." The snake mistress said.

The younger women at this point were looking at most of the older mentors. "You taught him that?" Tsunade asked even as Anko shook her head. "Oh, no. the brat is one hundred percent all natural."

"No way." Shizune squeaked and flushed as she remembered something.

"Are you sure? I thought Jiraiya…"

Kurenai shook her head. "Nope. Bet he's gotten better with time."

At this point Hinata figured it out and rounded on her sensei.

"YOU BITCH!"

If it hadn't been for TenTen and Temari grabbing her, Kurenai would have gotten a chakra powered bitch slap.

"Settle down." Tsunade said and looked at everyone sitting around the table. She looked at Sakura second to last, and shook her head at how clueless her student was.

Shizune met her eyes and smiled.

"Alright." Tsunade said in her command voice gaining all the women there's attention. "Who here has slept with Naruto Uzumaki?"

"WHAT?" Sakura roared and blinked as Anko, Kurenai, Shizune, TenTen, Tsume and her daughter Hana Inuzuka, Kin and Tayuya who were both in Konoha after seeking asylum, the purple haired Yugao Uzuki, Ayame Ichiraku and the Hokage raised their hands.

Hinata's eyes were narrowed and a low growl was emanating from the back of her throat.

Tsume grinned. "The boy does get around." As she shared a look with her daughter who blinked at seeing her mother's hand up.

"Wait, you mean Naruto the boy who wears orange and beat up my brother?" Temari asked looking around.

Ino blinked at the hands that were up. "Why would you…" she couldn't even finish her thought.

Sakura was flushed and promising to beat up her blond teammate. Hinata was taking in everyone that had their hand raised and was making a list of who was going to get a juken strike once they were out the door.

The Hokage had to admit she was surprised by the show of hands. It seemed that her little Naruto wasn't as innocent as she thought, but then after what they'd done earlier she couldn't find anything to complain about.

"Why?" Sakura demanded.

Anko snorted and it was Shizune who spoke up. "Because Naruto is kind, considerate and makes sure that his partner is satisfied."

"He's got stamina and imagination in ways to please a woman." Hana spoke up.

"Kids got skills and gives a hundred and ten percent." Tsume said with a grin and her daughter shot her a look. "Don't give me that look girlie. I'm older than you, but I'm not dead. I have needs. Kids a freaking Viking in the sack."

Sakura covered her ears and looked around. "What is wrong with all of you? It's Naruto!"

Anko hummed the birthday song again and Kurenai got a far away look as she smiled softly.

"Fuck a Viking." Tayuya said. "He's a demon in bed…and against the wall…the floor…the kitchen table….the fucking bathtub…"

"We get the hint Tayuya." Kin said as she had her own smile.

"I think we need to share." Anko said looking around the table. "You know, compare notes."

Ino's eyes were wide. "You want to talk about sex…with Naruto. The dead last of…"

The slap stopped Ino in her tracks and TenTen narrowed her eyes. "Sorry. But I am sick of hearing people bad mouth Naruto whose been nothing but kind to everyone he's met."

"Put the skinny ass bitch in her place." Tayuya said egging her on.

Temari shook her head. "I've known him only in passing and because he's my younger brothers first friend. I know for a fact he would fight for you and calls you friend and you continue to bad mouth him." The fan user shook her head. "Maybe Gaara's right, get Naruto transferred to Suna." She smiled then. "And maybe I could offer him something special."

Ino's eyes narrowed. "Keep your grubby Suna hands off him."

"Why?" Temari asked. "You disrespect him as does the pink haired howler monkey next to you." She looked at the Hokage. "Maybe a political alliance would be solidified with a marriage?"

"STAY AWAY FROM MY NARUTO-KUN!" Hinata was restrained, this time by Kin and Tayuya as neither were intimidated by the usually soft spoken Hinata.

"We're getting off track here." Tsunade said, but she was still sporting a smile. It was hard not to smile with what she had done a couple hours ago.

She looked at Temari. "And why would I allow you to steal Naruto away from Konoha?"

The Suna kunoichi shrugged.

Tsunade looked around the table, an idea percolated in her mind, she blamed the lack of sake, or it was that her mind was still a bit scattered from the mind blowing sex she had earlier in the day. She would take the mind blowing sex as her excuse.

Tsunade had to admit the blond ball of energy had done things to her that even Jiraiya in his freakiest state couldn't have thought up.

"ENOUGH!" Tsunade commanded as the talks got louder.

All eyes turned to her. "Ladies, it seems we have much to think and talk about, how about a challenge."

"Lady Tsunade?" Shizune asked.

The Fifth Hokage smirked now it was something feral.

"We sit here week in and week out bitching about the men in our lives. How they seem to be lacking at satisfying our needs. While some of us have discovered a hidden gold mine." She smiled, as did others.

"What's the challenge? Not all of are ninja." Ayame said.

"Oh, its simple. We're going to have a NILF hunt." Tsunade said.

"A what?" Sakura asked.

"NILF?" Ino said and her eyes widened as she figured it out.

"Tomorrow morning I'll call Naruto to my office and explain the rules to him."

"And what are the rules, Hokage-sama?" Kin asked.

"Why its simple Kin and thank you for asking. I will be giving Naruto bracelets with his clan symbol on them. For each one of us that succeed in bedding him, he will give a bracelet. At the end of a week we meet back here and share stories of how we got the bracelets."

Hinata was beet red at this time as were Sakura and Ino. Temari was actually grinning ear to ear so were several of the other Kunoichi.

"Y-Y-You want us to have s-sex with Naruto!?!?" Sakura finally asked doing a reasonable impression of Hinata.

"You don't have to." Tsunade said. "But then you'll no longer be allowed to bitch about your sex life or lack of one." Tsunade said, her grin got rather large and feral enough that the Kyuubi would be intimidated.

"Operation: Naruto I'd like to Fuck begins tomorrow once I give him the bracelets."

"W-What if N-Naruto-kun doesn't want t-to take part in this?" Hinata asked, her face putting on a very good impression of a tomato.

Some of the women laughed at this. "Then you really don't know Naruto Uzumaki." TenTen said as she grinned. While she may be hung up on Neji, his coldness had her drifting and she wouldn't mind a repeat performance from Naruto.

"All of you who wish to take part in this little friendly challenge come to my office tomorrow at ten am." Tsunade said.

Shizune said something in her ear and the Hokage smiled. "Better make that noon. I want to make sure Naruto understands the rules."

"Why the fu…oh, you nasty bitch. You plan on getting your bracelet right away don't cha?" Tayuya said.

Tsunade grinned as did Shizune and everyone shuddered at the mental images of what the Hokage had done earlier now that their minds were on the proper path, and seeing Shizune's look told them that the blond male they were planning on hunting could handle two women at once.

Sakura blinked even as her inner persona was screaming at her to claim her Naruto.

Hinata was thinking of actually ordering the branch family to protect Naruto from all these women, even as another part of her was dreaming of what Naruto would do to her.

Ino and Temari were looking across at one another and Ino vowed Not this time you Suna hussy.

While those that had the Naruto experience before were looking forward to a repeat performance.

"Wait." Ayame said. "Besides proof of being with Naruto, what else will the bracelets signify?"

Tsunade smirked. "That will be a secret for now. But good question Ayame, one I will answer once the challenge is over." Tsunade looked around the table.

I better think of missions to get the men out of the way for the week, especially Jiraiya. The last thing we need is to have this turned into the Gutsy Ninja 2: NILF Hunters.

XX

Across Konoha in a dilapidated apartment, Naruto Uzumaki stopped packing and looked out the window wondering why he felt like he was being stalked. Shaking his head he went back to packing and prepared to move to his clan house that Tsunade was going to give to him tomorrow, unaware of the way his next week was going to change.