Twenty-six: MTOABB
MTOABB
Literature class has always been my favourite, and not because that is the only class I happen to share with Gomes, but because of all the art that is shared across the room.
"...so when does one say enough is enough -- let's unite as one human race if it does not start with recognizing that women are not a man's toy to fiddle with..," Katelyn says, as she stands proud in front of the class in her high waist pleated skirt.
She has always been an advocate for women, and you could either hate her or love her, but as for me, I have always admired how courageous she is.
She is a mixed-breed -her mom is from Congo while her dad is from Australia.
My hands come together in an applause with the rest of the other hands in the classroom as she takes her seat in front.
"Thank you for bringing that to all our attention. As a man, we need to allow ourselves to be aware of the harm we can cause to our female species," Mr. Miller says as he addresses the rest of the class.
A mere five minutes before the class comes to an end, and Gomes is yet to make a return.
Where are you? _Rossita
A few seconds passed since I sent the message to Gomes.
My phone lights up in response to an incoming message and I immediately grab it from my desk.
So, what does that mean? _Zack
Zack, let us not do this _Rossita
Bullshit. You can't play me like this and have it seem like it's okay _Zack
The bell decides then to ring and I quickly throw my book in my backpack before following the bodies of teenagers walking out the door.
You would think it is easy to make choices and hope that they are the right ones, but life is more complicated than that. Kissing Zack that day felt right because I believed Gomes and I were sinking and that was a choice I made thinking it was the right one.
I join the cluster of feet rushing to their lockers to quickly retrieve their books for their next and final class of the day.
I checked my phone to see if Gomes had replied, but nothing. I rush to my locker, knowing that I only have less than a minute to spare before the bell rings for the next class to commence.
He grabs me to the side. The hallways now empty as classrooms are now occupied with teenager bodies.
"Zack, don't."
"Don't you think this is messed up -- what you have been doing to me?" He stretches out his arms trapping me in between them against the brick wall.
"It's messed up, I know that now."
"What happens then when he leaves in a few months?" He raises an eyebrow.
"I'm not sure, I'm taking it day by day." I shrug, knowing deep down that once he leaves we'll be over and it will hurt so much.
Not because I am supposedly mad in love with him -- this is not a gapé love.
It'll hurt because all that I will have left of him will be memories-- and those memories will fade with time and one day we'll meet as strangers who no longer know what they loved most in the world.
"What did he tell you about Holly? What was his reason for going to Miami to visit her?"
I stare at him in annoyance for bringing this up. I wanted to forget because Gomes told me there was nothing to worry about.
"Why are you bringing this up?" I ask in defeat.
"Just answer me?"
"Are your hands not tired?" I ask, shifting my eyes to his arms that are still pushed against the wall in an attempt to cage me in.
He brings his hands to his side and I release a short sigh.
"He told me that her dad is sick and he needed to be there. And didn't you say Cassandra was there too? So it's not like he went alone."
"Classic Prinse." He shakes his head. "Holly's father passed away a year ago, unless he was magically brought back to life and placed in a hospital bed without my knowledge. So why do you think he lied to you?" Zack spits out.
"You can stop now, okay Zack. I'm done listening. When will I be allowed to smile without someone having the need to taint on it. I deserve that much, anyone does."
I leave him standing there as I head for the restroom in a haste. What's the point of rocking up to a history class 20 minutes late -- I already know detention is who I will be on a date with, this afternoon as everyone else leaves to pursue their outside endeavours.
I turn the tap, letting the water run as I dab my wet fingers on my eyelids to disguise my apparent tears.
Even the sky knew I was crying a whole ocean.
"I would ask if you are okay, but it's clear you are not. Not to assume, but are those tears being shed for a boy?" She asks, turning the tap and washing her hands under the flowing water.
"I doubt it's being shed for a girl," I say, trying to make light of my predicament.
She nods in understanding. "You know, whenever I have an urge to cry over a boy, I remind myself that my jar of tears is fully being occupied by the nonexistent boys that flow off a page and into my imagination." She smiles.
"You'll be just fine, chin up and shoulders back, okay?"
I look at her through the mirror as I place my shoulders back and bring my chin up. She smiles, patting her hand on one of my shoulders.
"Thank you for that," I tell her.
"No thanks needed."
I watch as Katelyn leaves the restroom and I'm left with utter silence.
My phone vibrates in my back pocket and I gesture to take it out.
"Hi."
"I saw your text," Prinse says. "...and hi."
"So where are you?" I ask.
"I had an emergency call. How about I pick you up after school?"
"I can't."
"Why not?" He questions.
"I have detention."
"Do you really?" He asks, a clear indication of amusement in his tone.
"Yes."
"Let me know once you are out so I can come pick you up."
"I prefer you don't." I say.
"And why is that?"
"Because you lied. Holly's father isn't in the hospital so why did you lie, huh? Why don't I answer for you -- because you fucked her." I spit out in anger, giving my tongue control of what comes out next.
"For fuck sake, Rossita. Give me a break." He sighs.
"Don't worry, I'll give you more than a break." I hang up the phone.
I place both my hands on my chest, my heart dancing to an arrhythmic beat. We were never meant to last, but that was tomorrow's problem and I happen to make it today's.