MY SURVIVAL SYSTEM

"The existence of the unfathomable stems or originates from that which is fathomable. You cannot create an imaginary world without using the real world as a foundation. Every fiction to ever exist has undertones or obvious signs of its source being the human mind. But if however, you stray from that you'd be called insane and you might actually be"

Hmm. Paula in her element. Occasionally she posts these on her Whatsapp status these cryptic quotes.

Maybe because I never really tried to understand them?

Not like it matters if I did because it still didn't take away from the fact that I felt so strange at that moment.

"Nyem okpa," said a dark chocolatey colored male student with a fair-skinned petite girl by his side, taking my mind off my phone.

His Igbo was like a newborn deer trying to walk. He was trying to be polite by speaking in the native language and I thought it was cool but I just couldn't be there.

I didn't want to.

"Wait. I'm coming" I said and walked out of the canteen through the back door.

There were others in there who would attend to him. As for me, I needed fresh air or something to calm my uneasiness.

On most days I loved the canteen; a large shop in the middle of a huge hospital that was always busy 24/7.

Its hiked prices still didn't stop people from coming to relax.

And I loved the cool thirty thousand naira I get paid every month.

But this cash didn't stop some things; like the deep urge to rip my insides and scream till my lungs probably burst.

That thought didn't make any sense but that was just what was being echoed somewhere deep in my subconscious mind.

"Jessica" I heard Amanda call my name so I hurriedly walked away towards a direction that I wouldn't be found.

It was obvious I needed some time alone. If I could find some pocket dimension that I would sneak into and find solitude I'd pay a million dollars for it.

I looked back several times to find that I wasn't being followed by anyone. Nice!

My nose suddenly had that burning sensation it had whenever I was about to cry and my eyes simultaneously became watery.

"Nope," I thought to myself.

There was no way I'd cry on the way with so many people around.

That'd be so embarrassing. It had happened once before; a very long time ago when I was still a youngling in primary school.

And I wasn't going to let it happen again.

What intrigued me was why I felt that way, like I had these words in my throat that I needed to scream out.

I was walking and walking, looking for the perfect spot to stay but the hospital provided no such place. But then I didn't give up.

I kept on walking around it almost looked as if I was lost. I was kind of lost because I couldn't find my way back to the canteen.

But that problem should be reserved for later after I settled with whatever was going on in my mind and needed to go back to the canteen which was also dependent on the fact that I wouldn't be fired for wandering off.

There was a corridor in the middle of the pediatrics ward.

It was quiet and the gate that led out into the entrance of the hospital was locked.

Two long seats were kept by the wall with each opposite the other.

 Immediately a cool feeling passed down my body and I crossed my arms over each other giving myself an embrace.

I was starting to feel calm and my thoughts were slowly being rational.

 I looked out through the white gate locked with crusty old padlocks and watched the many passersby and started to wonder how life was treating them.

A huge percentage of them were patients, others were workers and students. 

After a few minutes of enjoying the quiet and absence of other people within close distance, I was joined by someone.

I looked to my left to see a tall, lanky boy. He wore a white shirt with a blue cardigan over it and black trousers leaving only his hands, face, and neck bare.

I felt a little bit overwhelmed as he walked over to the other chair. He was so tall it was almost shocking.

Beneath the feeling of surprise, I felt an odd admiration.

Everything about him looked so good; from his neat and well-iron clothes to his perfect caramel skin and his large brown glasses up to his chiseled face.

His facial features weren't that great when gazed upon individually but somehow they worked well together and created the finest face I'd seen that day.

And the way he tilted forward a little bit as he walked…

But none of that mattered. I didn't want any company and there was a high chance that the handsome stranger would want to talk.

I started to feel uneasy and watched him with my peripheral vision.

"What now?" I thought waiting for him to say something. My solitude was being invaded. Not like I owned the place but still...

"Please don't say anything," I thought repeatedly.

 Seconds passed into minutes and not even a word was muttered.

He didn't even seem like he was present. He stared at the wall a few inches away from where I sat with a soulless gaze.

That was good but I started to feel bad. Why did I assume he was going to try to start a conversation? And worse still I was the one who was then itching to talk.

I felt that maybe a hi could make the air a little less uncomfortable.

And then I'd wait a few seconds and then leave to find another chill spot to zone out. But then he didn't seem uncomfortable.

He seemed so out of the world like his mind was somewhere else.

 But after a while I found myself returning to mindfulness.

I had zoned out for a while thinking about a lot of things and totally forgetting that I was feeling awkward just moments ago.

He was still in his position but was relaxed into the chair a bit. What a weirdo!

What was it that I started to think that got my mind off that awkwardness? A pregnant woman was trying to lift her bag from the ground after it fell.

Then I started to think about how crazy it was for someone to carry another human being in their body…

My thoughts went on and on till I was lost in them.

I took a deep breath and was glad the stranger in front of me was quiet and somehow made me feel better by just being there.

I got distracted again by the weirdest thing I'd ever seen in my life.

"What in the world is going on?" I tried to say but they only came out as thoughts.

My mouth couldn't move and everything was still.

Everyone stood still as if someone shouted "Don't move!" Even the birds and leaves in the air were still. But that was the least of my worries.

I couldn't breathe. It was as if something was compressing my airway from the inside.

I started to massage my neck as if that could help prevent me from suffocating.

My chest was tightening and holding it didn't seem to help either.

My vision became blurry almost instantly and from what I could see the stranger in front of me was on the floor lying motionless.

What was going on? I tried to scream but everything went blank almost immediately…

"WELCOME, PLAYER 1759" Someone spoke. It sounded metallic and artificial like the voice of an AI ( artificial intelligence)

 I held my neck instinctively but I wasn't suffocating anymore.

Then I turned around to look at the vast emptiness around me.

The little joy that I felt because I was no longer suffocating left me and with it gone a feeling of dread and doom came to replace it.

Where was I? Why was I even there?

It was dark yet I could still see and there was no visible solid ground which made it look like I was floating but I could walk as if I was walking on something solid.

An overwhelming feeling enveloped me as I turned around so many times to see if anything had happened.

What was supposed to happen? Was that a dream? Or was I on my way to the afterlife? I was just suffocating moments ago.

Then a blinking arrow appeared; it was a royal purple arrow and it moved as I went towards it like it was guiding me somewhere.

That was crazy! The wisest thing to do was probably to not follow a strange blinking arrow that appeared in an equally strange place.

But what else could I do? Run away? To where?

As I walked behind the arrow( because I couldn't walk past it. And I tried to run past it but each time I tried the arrow just floated faster) I felt like that was purposeless.

Nothing felt reasonable. How long will I have to keep on following this strange arrow? How long? Time? Time itself felt weird.

It felt as though I had just been in the strange place seconds ago and also felt like it had been ages since my arrival there.

Then all of a sudden a bright light shined into my eyes but I didn't cover them like I usually did whenever I moved from a dimly lighted place to a bright place.

It was as if my eyes were ready for the light. I then saw a huge amount of people with loud noises coming from everywhere but none of them were talking.

They all looked as confused as I felt.

 From what my eyes could decipher there were more than one hundred people in there and they were people from different races.

The ground was different from where I had just come out of; it was visible, and it was the usual ground I knew, that had sand and stones.

And the sky was almost normal except It wasn't the usual blue sky, it was different, like someone drew it and did a poor job at that.

I looked around to see where the noises were coming from but there was no one but the confused people.

It was as if there were numerous people behind the strange sky that were screaming at the top of their lungs.

I turned back to see the void I had just come out of but it had gone; disappeared like it was never there.

"What a strange dream," I thought as I observed everyone in the green bodysuits that covered their bodies down to their feet, leaving only their faces and hands.

That was when I discovered I was wearing the same.

But the thought of crazy matching clothes was immediately replaced by a loud sound echoing through the air.

"WELCOME TO ARENA TP53." It was that same voice, the voice from earlier.