Treading Lightly

Seeing the telltale sight of the cigarette on the roof, Dae stared across his yard for a moment and, before he knew what was happening, he was hiking one of his legs through the window and stepping outside. Feeling the chill in the air and the cold ground through his socks made him realize that he was actually committed to doing this. He felt a small swell of pride as he took his time making his way to Evan's house--of course, that pride mingled with the anticipation, fear, and guilt that Dae had already been feeling.

Taking a small breath in to steady his resolve, Dae entered Evan's yard and watched as the redhead didn't stir at all. Dae was sure that the soft padding of his socks on the ground gave away his arrival, but Evan didn't seem to pay him any mind. Dae wasn't sure if that was on purpose or not.

Arriving at the trellis on the side of Evan's porch, Dae took a minute to look at the withered plants and try to see what his safest route would be. He prayed silently to any and all deities that the trellis was strong enough to support him--but pushed aside his fear, knowing that talking to Evan now, and like this, was his best bet to try and start mending things between them.

Taking another small breath, Dae reached out and began to climb the trellis--but it was nothing like in movies. Tiny thorns poked his skin from random, unknown places--not enough to bleed, but enough to cause discomfort--and his entire ascent was accompanied by the brittle and ungraceful rattling of an eighteen-year-old Filipino kid climbing a dead trellis in the fall.

After his not so graceful journey, Dae stepped onto Evan's roof with hesitance. The redhead had definitely heard him--there was no way he couldn't have--but he was still choosing to ignore Dae. Evan slowly brought the cigarette up to his lips and takes a slow drag, the silence heavy with a deliberate delay and thick with discomfort.

Unable to throw himself fully into why he showed up unceremoniously on Evan's roof at night, he tried to lighten the mood, "I don't know how you do that. It wasn't very fun."

Dae watched as his attempt was met with Evan offering him a pitying smirk, that lasted only a moment, before the redhead's lips closed around the cigarette again. Dae ran a hand through his hair, and let out a tired sigh. He stepped to Evan's side with slumped shoulders, and slowly lowered himself onto the roof so that Evan's feet were at his head.

After a moment of just lying side by side with Evan, Dae took a chance and reached out his pinky to gently rub it against Evan's hand. He felt the redhead tense, but Evan didn't move his hand. That small reception of his touch was the only signal that Dae needed to just bite the bullet and tell Evan why he came over.

"So," Dae spoke up to the sky, to avoid putting any pressure on Evan to respond, "I know that I was the definition of an asshole. I treated you like you were property instead of a human. I...oh, fuck it. I was an irrationally angry shithead, and I placed all of the...blame on you. Just like whoever the guy was in the video did..."

Dae heard Evan suck in a surprised breath and worried that he'd just made things worse. He gently stroked his pinky against the cold skin of the redhead's hand again, to offer some form of comfort. "Sorry...I know he's a sore subject. But I wanted to just let you know that I realize that I was wrong. What I did was wrong. I didn't know the whole story, but that's no excuse for how I acted. For how I made you feel. And I just want you to know, that if you ever trust me enough again--and you feel comfortable enough to share--I'm here to listen about anything that happened in Spring County."

He let the silence fill the space between them for a moment before adding, "I really just want to know you, Evan. All of you. The good, the bad, the traumatic. All of it. And I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn't share any part of yourself with me...You don't deserve that. And I hope you'll allow me a chance to make it up to you. If you'll have me, I'll be there to listen."

More silence. Only the soft sizzle from the cigarette forgotten in Evan's right hand and the redhead's breathing fill his ears. Dae feels the panic set in and slowly started to pull his hand away from Evan's, thinking that this was a mistake.

But then the redhead's left hand filled the newly formed gap between the two of them, and his pinky takes up the job of offering Dae comfort. Dae's breath caught in his throat when he felt Evan's soft touch. His need for a hasty escape disappeared into the night, and he slid closer toward Evan.

Evan's pinky danced across Dae's palm one more time before the redhead took the lead and slid his fingers through Dae's. Holding hands and staring up into the sky in silence, Dae's heart skipped a few beats. And then Evan whispered a response, and Dae knew that they were on the right path to fixing things. "Soon, Dae. We'll talk soon."