The bad news

"someone, please...., just tell me what's going on. I kept trying to say this for a while and then I only just realised I was crying because I could feel the tears rolling down my cheek, but I couldn't move to wipe them off. I heard the doctors repeat the words 'I don't know if Usagi will make it', and my heartbeat was pounding loudly ,but then suddenly I felt it start to slow down and it was getting harder and harder for me to breathe. Mikaru screamed and cried with emotional pain outside the room when he got told that it was possible I wouldn't make it, and that I would probably only have a few more hours to live. Doctors rushed me out of the ward and into the emergency room to try and get my breathing back in order. In my head I kept thinking

" what would it be like to die maybe it would be good for me" I brought myself back to the reality I had left and told myself. "No you belong here, you can't die.... not yet at least, think of everything you would miss out on and everyone you miss... like Mikaru. I don't believe that I would ever think that, what have I become? after half an hour the doctors got me breathing properly but for now I have to have a mask on to keep me breathing clearly and its quite possible I'll be this way for a while until the doctors think I'll be okay on my own.

The next day Usami came to visit me and Mikaru ended up staying overnight just outside the room I was in, just in case anything were to happen to me and I thought that was the sweetest thing.

A few hours passed and I'm still breathing thankfully. Mikaru has been with me this whole time but Usami had to go because she thought that university was more important than her best friend, I mean it's okay but it would have been nice if she stayed too.

" so how do you feel?," Mikaru asked me with a slight smile.

"I think... I'll be... okay," I struggled to say.

he began to leave to get a drink but before he could I asked him...

"do you know?",I tried to hold back my tears

"do I know what?," he says confused

"about my other health problems do you know what they are?," Mikaru could see that I was upset and almost about to cry but he tried comforting me and helping me feel okay even if I wasn't.

"the only health problem I can see straight away, is the wrongness of how beautiful you are and how wrong I was to not have asked you out sooner.", I couldn't help but blush I mean that's so sweet but I was trying to be serious, I needed to know so that if I did die I would know why.

" so if you did regret not asking me out sooner, why..... don't you do it now?," I was hoping he would because I really like him.

"well do you think we know each other enough?"

"well the real question is.....don't you?"