Fall into the deep end 2

I couldn't hold my tears from the sudden approach. It took me by surprise that after seeing my childhood home I was going to see that person again. My heart starts beating so fast looking around in that dark space for another lost memory to appear. His voice kept playing in my head on repeat since the last time I saw that image eight years ago. I didn't want to forget it, I couldn't even if I wanted to. I miss receiving that much love and affection from someone, so that was me being envious of my past self.

After that, something else showed up. Another window opened up, is different timelines. There was a living room with a girl in her early twenties. Short brown hair, hazel eyes, a pretty normal-looking body sitting on the sofa in the worse way possible holding a book in her hands.

"Girl! …My back hurt just by looking at your current posture. Don't sit like a shrimp and straighten your back for god's sake!"

Not too long after, someone else came in from the kitchen holding a ladle slowly approaching without her noticing. This time the image of his face wasn't blurry or faceless as the other times, but when I turned my head and looked at it my jaw dropped.

Heh!? Tall, mid-length dark hair, blue eyes, a dazzling smile that could melt my heart, and most importantly a nice firm and fit body with a apron on top. The light is so blinding… am I in heaven? Because I am been charmed by the angel in front of me.

"Raeliana, what are you doing!"

"Whoaa…!!"

Kyaaa~! A deep voice with a British accent. My lord, what is this melody? …Well, now that I think about it, he still has both. Usually, it sounds a little feminine since he has been overly excited these days, yet normally it's low and calm like he is trying to whisper into my ear.

Not going to lie, but this can not be compared with the one Alastair has since it wouldn't suit his face if he had a heavy or dramatic voice. I like it better simple, calm, and soothing, but…he is so manly oh my god, I had hit the jackpot without realizing it. Now I know why people say that you know the value of things once you lose them. Alastair, I hate you so much. I can't hold myself from laughing. Haha…why? Hahaha, I can't breathe bhahaha. This boy has been blessed by Adonis to have a beautiful face in every world!

"Did you just…?"

All right let's stop fangirling for a minute and see what happened because I wasn't looking. Oh wait, I think I got the gist of it. She is rubbing her head and he is still holding that thing as he is about to scold her. He just hit me with a ladle, did he? The nerve of him to do that in front of me. Then again, I can see them, but they can not see me. This is a doing of my own imagination so everything that happens here, has been done already.

'I didn't notice him at all. Was he here the all time? He looks angry, but yelling so close to my ear and even hitting me with that was really unnecessary, he scared the hell out of me.'

Hm?! I could actually hear her thoughts here. …Cool! Well, I should not be surprised since we are the same person, but still…it's good to think like I can read people's minds in this situation. It makes it more pleasant. Not that I needed though, I could stare at that body all day.

"Ouch! Why did you do that?" although the ladle barely even touched her head, she acted like a victim of abuse. He didn't faze at all when she covered her eyes, put her head down, and started to cry. He rolled his eyes...his face said it all. He was disappointed but not surprised, which made me believe that this was something normal and she did that often. Once he let out a sigh and patted her head, the girl got up fast from her sit and made a mocking face. With one eye closed and just the tip of her tongue out she said with a childish voice, "Gotcha ya, hehe~!"

"!? ...Let me just end my life here and now, please!"

I'm…I am speechless. This isn't me, is it? No way this woman is me. I want to dig a hole and bury myself inside after seeing such a shameless side of myself. This is really pathetic and pitiful. I refuse to believe that I once acted like this, and it is more awkward looking at his face saying, "What in the world did I just witness." Aghaaaa! Second hand emberasment. I really want to close my eyes and pretend like what I just saw didn't happen. Please tell me it didn't. Please tell me it DIDN'T!

"Yeah yeah, you got me! Since you have such free time to play around, you wouldn't mind hearing what I have to say about your current behavior, do you?"

'Oh god no, he is seriously going to give me a lecture now. If he starts, there is no telling if I am going to hear the end of it or not. Maybe I should have just listened to him from the beginning and stopped acting childish.'

Well, I applaud you for at least knowing that much, but you just dug your own grave there. Anyway, things don't look good. He went to sit and crossed his arms, and by the looks of it, she knows what is coming. I don't recall any of this, which I guess is nothing new now, but BOY I going crazy over that body. God send me back, send me back where I belong. I want to be embraced by those arms, I want to see that smile every day when I wake up and stare at those blue eyes of his like I am drowning in the depth of the ocean.

"Ahem…shall we start with your lecture now?"

'Ugh, and here we go again. Where are my headphones when I need them?'

Pfft…hahaha! She literally looks so done with him bhahaha. If you don't want it, does that mean I could keep him? He is my fiancée so I will take it as a YES.

After two hours of lecture, reading the thick encyclopedia as punishment that literally came out of hell for another hour, and seeing how he made her eat the food he prepared, I made my decision. And the verdict is…I really don't want him anymore.

I was ready to overlook his actions for cooking something and spoonfeeding her after all that ruckus, but it didn't cross my mind at the time that the questionable aftertaste of his creations is equal to deadly. Everything he cooks looks good and is appealing to the eye, but the taste is the complete opposite. If I had to choose between poison and his cooking, I would have drunk the poison in a heartbeat, but that dumb people pleaser ate it and now she is lying sick in bed.

"I can't believe she ate that. Anyhoo, I salute you for being braver than me, but if this all ends with her dying in bed, the secret is out, and then Alastair would have some explaining to do. Not like he doesn't already."

From the amount she ate, three spoonfuls of soup to be precise, and the effect of that thing, my calculations say that she stayed like this for a good long painful week with a stomach ache, abdominal pain, waist soreness, constantly feeling like puking even with an empty stomach, high fever, body ache, and belly bulge.

Since he never told me what was the cause and time of my death, he felt sorry and blamed himself, I wouldn't be surprised if he comes to me and says that all of this was caused by one of his cooking experiments.

As much as I want to be that easy, still, that's not it. Although that's a possibility, he is clueless when it comes to his cooking skills, and that is pretty much my fault for not telling him that he sucks at it and shouldn't set foot in the kitchen ever again.

There were moments like this every time we were together. Somehow funny when he took the lead and played the role of a caretaker and at times we were both being foolish. When we went on a date at the arcade, he won every single game that had a plushy as a price, emptied the clawing machine, and even made a bet with an employee there that if he played the 'Sinistar' game and single-handedly defeated him before he does, he would have unlimited takes to another game. It was funny seeing how the employee's face froze in shock when he was over with it within three minutes.

In the end, he comes out of there with four bags full of prices in his hands and with a new life lesson as if I was in the role of the daughter seeing the world for the first time, "In a capitalist society, everything is free if you have enough talent to provide for it with public entertainment, or you can just leave without paying."

Surprised that he would think of that when he has anxiety and has to always double-check if he paid the rent in full. He's horrified to think that he has underpaid or overpaid it. "Isn't that like stealing?" I asked.

"It is, that's why I chose the first one since rather than theft it would be called 'taking possession of something that I fairly won in equal terms' with a valid reason of course."

"Which is…?"

"Hehe~!" he looked so excited after I said that, that stars appeared in his eyes. He gave me the bags and made an imaginary rainbow with his hands in the air, "Ahem… covering our room in PLUSHIS, what else? Hahaha! Then again, they should have thanked me for teaching young players that nothing is impossible if you put your mind to it, and your money of course. They will see so much profit after our little experiment that today's loss is going to be forgotten pretty quickly." He laughed things off, but it didn't go as planned. The next time he went to a different arcade in the same city, they didn't let him enter after looking at his ID. They had banned him. So, they didn't let this slide and took measures for him to never come back again.

There was never a dull moment in my life since he become part of it and seeing it again from someone else's point of view was refreshing and opened my eyes at the same time. All were fun and games, and I enjoyed looking back at those memories after so long, but I felt strangely empty.

"Why isn't my heart reaction when I look at how happy I am here?" I place the hand in my chest to feel my heartbeat every time I come to the realization that I am here sitting in the dark in front of a window seeing moments of my past disappearing into thin air. "Is it because that was just a temporary enjoyment with the company of another human being or because I know that there won't be another chance for me to have this type of thing this time?"

I don't know…perhaps I am envious or just greedy. I want everything someone has to offer me, but my pride won't let me ask for it. Besides…I'm scared! I am alone, I have always been. That's for the better since no one is going to get hurt if they are not part of my life, yet I get bored and lonely pretty easily.

"Aww…you poor unfortunate soul! Never say never. Although that madman never gave you one to begin with, you better find a chance for yourself haha…or this is going to be your last. As many, many times before that…hahaha!"