[48] More Than A Tier
"Multiple partners?" Uraraka squeaked, her face bright red.
"That's so scandalous!" Hagakure's pajamas flailed wildly.
"Kero... I didn't expect that from Nakamura-kun," Asui said.
Jiro just whistled low. "Damn. Get it, Nakamura."
Katsumi pinched the bridge of her nose. This was getting out of hand. "Can we talk about something else? Literally anything else?"
"Oh! I know!" Ashido bounced on the bed. "Let's make a tier list of the guys in our class!"
"A what now?" Hitomi asked.
"You know, rank them from best to worst! S-tier down to D-tier!"
Katsumi groaned. "This is fucking stupid."
"Come on, Bakugo! It'll be fun!" Ashido produced a whiteboard from somewhere (where the hell had she been hiding that?) and started drawing a chart. "Okay, so we've got Iida, Shoji, Koda, Tokoyami, Sero, Kirishima, Kaminari, Todo, Midoriya, and Nakamura. Let's start at the bottom. Who's our D-tier?"
The room fell silent as the girls glanced at each other, nobody wanting to be the first to throw someone under the bus.
"Oh, come on!" Ashido planted her hands on her hips. "We're all friends here! It's just for fun!"
Katsumi snorted. "If we're all such good friends, why don't you put yourself in D-tier, Raccoon Eyes?"
"Hey! Girls aren't part of this list!"
"Then what's the fucking point?"
"The point," Ashido said, waggling her eyebrows, "is to figure out who's the hottest guy in our class. For science."
Yaoyorozu cleared her throat. "Perhaps we should establish some criteria? What exactly qualifies someone for each tier?"
"Ooh, good idea, Yaomomo!" Ashido tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Okay, so D-tier is like... totally undateable. C-tier is maybe if you were desperate. B-tier is decent boyfriend material. A-tier is prime dating material. And S-tier is... well, you know." She winked exaggeratedly.
Katsumi rolled her eyes. "This is stupid as fuck."
"You're just saying that 'cause you don't want us to know who you like," Hagakure teased.
"Fuck off, Invisible Girl."
"Alright, alright," Ashido intervened. "Let's start with an easy one. Where does Koda go?"
There was a moment of silence before Asui spoke up. "C-tier, kero. He's sweet, but..."
"But he's basically a rock," Jiro finished. "No offense to Koda."
Ashido nodded, writing Koda's name in the C-tier. "Okay, what about Shoji?"
"Also C-tier," Uraraka said hesitantly. "He's nice, but all those arms are kind of... intimidating?"
"Plus the mask thing," Jiro added. "Kind of hard to kiss a guy with no visible mouth."
Katsumi found herself nodding along despite her best efforts. At least they weren't being complete idiots about this.
"Alright, two C-tiers down!" Ashido beamed. "Who's next?"
"Put Deku in D-tier," Katsumi growled.
"Bakugo!" Uraraka protested. "Deku's not that bad!"
"He's a fucking nerd with no social skills."
"But he's gotten so much stronger!" Uraraka's cheeks were pink. "And he's really kind, and determined, and-"
"Sounds like someone has a crush," Hagakure sing-songed.
Uraraka's face went from pink to crimson. "I- that's not- we're just friends!"
"Sure, sure." Ashido grinned. "All in favor of putting Midoriya in B-tier?"
Most of the girls raised their hands, even Yaoyorozu, though she looked slightly embarrassed about it. Katsumi scowled but didn't argue further.
"B-tier it is!" Ashido wrote Midoriya's name on the board. "Okay, who's next?"
"What about Iida?" Jiro suggested.
"Hmm." Ashido tapped her marker against her chin. "He's definitely responsible..."
"And he has a good body," Hagakure added. Several girls turned to look at her invisible form. "What? I have eyes!"
"Yeah, but he's so... robotic," Jiro countered. "Can you imagine trying to flirt with him?"
Yaoyorozu coughed delicately. "Iida-kun may be... intense, but he's also very dedicated. I believe that would translate well to a relationship."
"Oho?" Ashido's eyes gleamed. "Speaking from experience, Yaomomo?"
"What? No! I simply meant-"
"I think Iida-kun should be A-tier," Asui interrupted, saving Yaoyorozu from further embarrassment. "He's reliable and would treat his partner well."
There was a chorus of agreement, and Iida's name was added to the A-tier.
"Alright, we're making progress!" Ashido clapped her hands. "What about Tokoyami?"
"B-tier," Jiro said immediately. "He's cool, but the whole darkness thing is a bit much."
"Plus Dark Shadow might get jealous," Hagakure giggled.
Katsumi found herself actually getting invested despite her better judgment. "Put Bird Brain in A-tier. At least he's not an idiot like most of these extras."
"Tokoyami in A-tier it is!" Ashido added his name to the board. "Now for the real challenges. Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero!"
"Definitely not D-tier," Uraraka said quickly. "They're all nice guys!"
"Yeah, but are they dateable?" Jiro countered. "Kaminari's kind of an idiot."
"Hey, he's gotten better!" Hagakure protested. "And he's funny!"
"Put Shitty Hair in A-tier," Katsumi growled. When the others looked at her in surprise, she bristled. "What? He's not completely useless."
Ashido's grin threatened to split her face. "Aww, Bakugo! I didn't know you cared so much about Kiri!"
"I don't! He's just... less annoying than the rest of you losers."
"Sure, sure." Ashido wrote Kirishima's name in the A-tier. "What about Kaminari and Sero?"
After some debate, Kaminari ended up in B-tier ("He's cute, but that brain short-circuit thing is a deal-breaker," Jiro declared), while Sero landed in A-tier ("He's reliable and has a great smile!" Hagakure insisted).
"Okay, we're down to the final two!" Ashido announced dramatically. "Todo and Nakamura!"
"Todo's definitely A-tier," Jiro said, twirling her earphone jack. "He's got the whole teddy bear martial artist thing going on."
"Plus he's tall," Hagakure added. "And those muscles..."
"But he's kind of... intense?" Uraraka shifted uncomfortably. "Like, he's always talking about finding his 'best friend' and challenging people to fights."
"That's part of his charm!" Ashido protested. "He's passionate!"
Katsumi watched the debate unfold, taking another sip of her drink. These idiots had no idea what they were talking about.
"What about his personality though?" Yaoyorozu tapped her chin. "He can be rather... eccentric."
"That's one way to put it," Hitomi muttered.
"Okay, but what about Nakamura?" Ashido wiggled her eyebrows. "He's definitely S-tier material, right?"
The room temperature seemed to rise several degrees. Katsumi kept her face carefully neutral, but she noticed both Yaoyorozu and Hitomi tensing slightly.
"I mean..." Jiro hesitated. "He's got that whole casual charm thing going on."
"And he's really smart!" Uraraka added.
"Plus those eyes," Hagakure sighed dreamily. "They're like... hypnotic or something."
Katsumi's grip tightened on her cup.
"Actually..." Hagakure's pajamas rustled as she leaned forward. "I have a theory about Nakamura."
"Oh?" Ashido perked up. "Spill!"
"Well... during the USJ incident, I was alone with him in the Conflagration Zone."
The room went dead silent. Even Katsumi found herself listening despite her better judgment.
"And?" Ashido prompted.
"And... there was just something about him. Like, when he held me-"
"He held you?" Several voices asked at once.
"Not like that! We were teleporting from villains! But..." Hagakure's sleeve twisted nervously. "I felt this... pull. Like I couldn't help being drawn to him."
"What are you saying?" Yaoyorozu asked carefully.
"I think... I think he might be an incubus."
Katsumi choked on her drink.
"A what?" Uraraka squeaked.
"You know, a demon that seduces people!" Hagakure's pajamas bounced excitedly. "It would explain everything! The mysterious powers, the way everyone's attracted to him-"
"That's fucking stupid," Katsumi snapped.
"No, no, hear me out! Think about it - he's got those weird eyes, and that whole 'spatial manipulation' thing could totally be demon powers! Plus, he's dating multiple people at once!"
"Oh my god." Jiro sat up straighter. "That... actually makes sense?"
"It does not!" Katsumi growled, but the others were already running with it.
"It would explain why he's so good at fighting," Asui noted. "Kero."
"And why he's always forgetting things!" Ashido gasped. "Maybe it's because he's actually hundreds of years old!"
"This is ridiculous," Hitomi said, but her face was slightly flushed.
"There's only one way to find out." Ashido pulled out her phone. "Let's ask him!"
"Don't you fucking dare-" Katsumi lunged for the phone, but Ashido danced away.
"Too late! It's ringing!"
The video call connected, showing Yoichi's room. Multiple voices could be heard shouting in the background.
"THAT'S BULLSHIT! YOU CAN'T JUST SPAM FALCON PUNCH!"
"Watch me, Kaminari!"
"Guys, please-"
"EAT SHIT, MIDORIYA!"
Yoichi's face appeared on screen, slightly distracted. "Hey Ashido, what's up?"
"Nakamura!" Ashido grinned. "Quick question - are you an incubus?"
The background noise stopped abruptly. Then Todo's face appeared next to Yoichi's.
"An incubus? That's what you're going with?"
More faces crowded into frame - Kaminari, Sero, and a very flustered-looking Midoriya.
"The girls think Yoichi's a demon!" Ashido announced proudly.
"Not all of us," Katsumi grumbled.
Yoichi's lips curved into a dangerous smile. "Why don't you come over and find out for yourself?"
The room erupted into chaos.
"Oh my god!" Hagakure shrieked.
"He didn't deny it!" Uraraka covered her face with her hands.
"That's not a no," Jiro drawled.
"I'll go!" Ashido started standing up.
"Sit your ass down, Raccoon Eyes!" Katsumi yanked her back.
On screen, the guys were losing it. Kaminari had fallen over laughing, while Sero tried (and failed) to keep a straight face. Todo just looked impressed.
"My best friend, the demon lord," he wiped away a fake tear. "I'm so proud."
"Alright, back to Smash," Yoichi said. "Unless anyone else wants to come test the demon theory?"
"We're good!" Yaoyorozu said quickly, her face bright red.
The call ended, leaving the room in stunned silence.
"So..." Hagakure spoke first. "That basically confirms it, right?"
"It confirms nothing," Katsumi snapped. "You're all fucking delusional."
"I don't know..." Ashido tapped her chin. "He was pretty smooth about it. Very demon-like."
"He's not- ugh!" Katsumi threw up her hands. "He's just good at playing along with stupid shit!"
"Sounds like you know from experience," Jiro smirked.
Katsumi felt her face heat up. "Shut up, Earlobes."
"Wait." Ashido's eyes widened. "Bakugo, you would know! Is he... you know... supernatural in bed?"
"I'm not answering that."
"Come on!" Hagakure pleaded. "For science!"
"For fuck's sake-"
"Just tell us if it's addictive," Jiro pressed. "That's a demon thing, right?"
Katsumi's silence spoke volumes.
"OH MY GOD!" Ashido screamed into a pillow. "He totally is one!"
"This is ridiculous," Hitomi muttered, but she was definitely blushing now.
"Okay, okay," Yaoyorozu tried to restore order. "Perhaps we should return to the original discussion? Todo and Nakamura's tier placement?"
"Right!" Ashido grabbed her marker. "So Todo - A-tier or S-tier?"
"A-tier," Jiro said firmly. "He's hot but weird."
"But that's what makes him interesting!" Hagakure argued. "And he's super strong!"
"Being strong doesn't make someone S-tier," Hitomi pointed out.
"No, but being tall, muscular, and mysterious does," Ashido countered. "Plus he's got that whole 'could snap you in half but is actually a softie' thing going on."
"He literally picks fights for fun," Uraraka said.
"Exactly! He's passionate!"
"About violence!"
"Among other things," Asui noted. "He seems very invested in philosophy, kero."
"See? Depth!" Ashido wrote Todo's name between A and S-tier. "We'll come back to him. Now for Nakamura..."
"S-tier," Hagakure said immediately. "No debate."
"Agreed," Jiro nodded. "Demon or not, he's got it all - looks, brains, charm..."
"And he's genuinely nice," Uraraka added.
"Plus he can cook," Asui said. "That's valuable in a partner."
Katsumi listened to them list Yoichi's qualities, growing more irritated by the second. Not because they were wrong - they weren't - but because they had no idea
Fuck. She was getting sappy.
"Bakugo?" Ashido's voice snapped her back to reality. "You okay? You looked kind of... intense there."
"I'm fine," she growled. "Are we done with this stupid list yet?"
"Almost! We just need to decide - is Nakamura S-tier or not?"
"Put him wherever you want. I don't care."
"Liar," Jiro coughed into her hand.
"What was that, Earlobes?"
"Nothing, nothing."
"I say S-tier," Ashido declared. "All in favor?"
Every hand went up except Katsumi's and Hitomi's.
"Motion passed!" Ashido wrote Yoichi's name at the top of the board. "And that concludes our official Class 1-A boys ranking!"
"Thank fuck," Katsumi muttered.
"Now we can move on to truth or dare!"
"Absolutely not."
"Come on, Bakugo! Live a little!"
"I will literally explode you."
The night devolved from there, with Ashido somehow convincing everyone (except Katsumi and Hitomi) to play increasingly ridiculous party games. By 11, most of them were sprawled across various surfaces, half-asleep.
Katsumi's phone buzzed.
Yoichi: so i hear im a demon now
Katsumi: fuck off
Yoichi: rude. and here i was going to offer my demonic services
Katsumi: i will murder you
She smiled despite herself. Idiot.
Katsumi: your friends still there?
Yoichi: nah they left after deku beat everyone at smash
Yoichi: turns out hes secretly a smash bros god
Yoichi: who knew?
Yoichi: want to come over? i promise no demon stuff
Katsumi: give me 10 minutes
She glanced around the room. Most of the girls were asleep or close to it. Only Hitomi was still fully awake, reading something on her phone.
Their eyes met briefly. Hitomi gave her a slight nod.
"Going somewhere?" she asked quietly.
"None of your business, Half-and-Half."
"Right." Hitomi turned back to her phone. "Have fun with your demon."
"Fuck off."
But there was no real heat in it. They had an understanding, weird as it was. And if anyone asked where she went...
Well, that was their problem.
Katsumi slipped out of the room, careful not to wake the others. The hallway was dark and quiet, perfect for sneaking around.
Not that she was sneaking. She just... preferred not to deal with questions.
Yoichi: doors unlocked
Yoichi: bring snacks?
Katsumi: youre so fucking needy
But she stopped by the kitchen anyway, grabbing a bag of chips before heading to his room.
Definitely not because she was whipped or anything.
She just... didn't want to hear him complain.
Yeah. That was it.
(She ignored the voice in her head that sounded suspiciously like Ashido saying "S-tier behavior!")
The things she put up with for this idiot.
At least he wasn't actually a demon.
Probably.