I miss you

Sabrina's pov

When he left without saying a word, I felt guilty for sending him away. I was an ungrateful person. After all, he had done for me, he put his life on hold just to take care of me through my pregnancy and even after delivery. It wasn't fair how I treated him but it also wasn't fair how he meddled in my business. right now, I had a child to look after.

To say that I missed him was an understatement. When I heard footsteps towards my apartment door, my heart raced with excitement and anxiety, thinking it was him only to be disappointed when the footsteps trod off. I kept checking my phone whenever it chimed hoping, expecting that it was him calling or texting to see how I was doing.

We are in the last stages with the construction, furnishing, and purchasing things for the hotel. There are back-to-back meetings. Today is such of those meetings. I woke up early washed Jay's clothes and as I was preparing myself for the meeting, I even did my make-up. I hoped that if I was going to see even just hi face on zoom it had to be in my prettiest version. As the meeting went on, I scrolled through the participants to see if he was in attendance but he wasn't. I waited maybe he was running late or busy in another meeting, and he would attend but he didn't. the meeting was in the last stages but he did not join the meeting. I could not take his absence lying down. I asked his vice manager why he was absent from the meeting and his reply made me realize that I had lost him. He said, "Sorry, Ms. Sabrina, But Mr. Jake won't be able to attend this meeting or any other to follow. He is focusing on other projects. You have me to deal with."

I was downhearted by the fact that he did not want to see me anymore. He was done trying to woe me or seek my forgiveness. His absence in my life and house had left a big void that nothing could fill, except him coming back to me, to me and Jay. In all honesty, I think I had fallen for him once again and now I had lost the opportunity to tell him that I loved him. If he wasn't going to come to me, I was going to go to him.

After rehearsing a million times what to say if he picked his phone. I took my phone and dialed his number and it went straight to voicemail. I tried again and the response was the same. I decided that if he wasn't going to pick up, then I was going to send him a text message. I typed, edited, typed, and edited over and over until after several trials and errors I decided on "I miss you".

I waited, waited, and waited for a reply and none came. One day, one week, and one month, no reply came. I had tried the option of looking for him at his office as I didn't know where his apartment was and I was told he had transferred to the Mombasa Branch. I was starting to give up now and the worry I had about him was beginning to affect Jay's feeding. So I decide to do the things that made me happier and it was hard as most things reminded me of him like dancing and listening to afro-beats, watching sitcoms, watching football, eating certain foods among other things. Everything I did reminded me of him, reminded me exactly how much I had lost him. But I was not going to let his absence ruin my life or push me into depression. it had taken everything in me to be myself again, to be brave enough to face the world, to weather through life storms, and to make something out of my life after what I had been through. my therapist said that focusing too much on things we can't control drives and pulls us back into a deep, sad dark hole. I wasn't going to allow that to happen. I was going to focus on Jay and me.

Tomorrow was the launch of the new hotel, and I had to find the perfect dress for the event as I was going to be the host. So for the first time, I took baby Jay dress shopping.