Hikigaya Ruind Yuigahama Love Confession To Hayato

I was swamped in exams every day for a whole week until Monday. Today was the day all of the exam results would be returned. I should feel annoyed for wasting nights on other matters but they seemed important at the time. That and only fools revise right before the exam.

In our classes, we got our answer sheets back and the problems were explained to us. After all the subject had ended, Yuigahama told me her scores while we were walking to the Service Club.

"Hikki! My Japanese history score went up! That study meeting was a good call after all," Yuigahama yabbered on excitedly. Oh, the study meeting that I was not invited to but Totsuka was? I gave her a cold reply.

"Good for you."

"Yep! And it's all thanks to Yukinon… oh, and you too, Hikki."

So Yuigahama said, but I did nothing at all. She really was a nice girl. Which makes it hurt twice as much when they accidently hurt you, compared to others.

If you studied more your results were guaranteed to go up. Period. Her praise was fundamentally hollow. I mean, Yuigahama had gotten those scores out of her own hard work.

Speaking of my exam results, I'd been defending my number three ranking in Japanese as usual. My score in maths was a low 70/100. Meh, you can't win them all. Well you can if you were Yukinoshita.

Oh, and not only was it the day we got the exam results back, it was also the day of the event that had been looming over us for quite some time: the workplace tour. Students were called during recess and sent out to the workplace of their own choosing.

Our group consisted of Totsuka, Hayama and me.

Or at least, that was how it should have been.

We went to Kaihin-Makuhari Station, I was really getting to know this station quite well. This area was quite densely packed with offices, and there were a surprising number of head offices operating there too. And at the same time, as if it was aware of what had taken place the other day, it was a hive of activity. Makuhari was not called the new heart of the city for nothing.

Currently, people were gathering around Hayama like flies every time I looked his way. What was he, a dead body? Well, I never entertained the thought I'd be going with Hayama to begin with. There are many places you could conceal a knife on the body after all.

I thought it would be pretty much a date with Totsuka - just the two of us - but when I looked around for Totsuka, he was being followed around by a flock of girls. Totsuka went around looking so shocked and dismayed you'd think he was being bullied if you didn't know him.

Hayama was surrounded by the three guys who were supposed to be in a different group altogether along with Miura and the others. Which went against what the plan was, for the three lads to get along without Mr. Stepford Smile. I could spot Yuigahama's figure among them. When I counting here and there, it seemed around five groups had turned up here.

Being with people is really not my forte. The greater the number of people, the stronger the sheep mentality became. On those occasional holidays when I went out, just the sheer number of people around would make me want to crawl back home. Naturally, I ended up trailing well behind the rest of the group. Well I definitely wasn't going to be at the front with that guy's attention on me. I watched his back so that I did not have to watch mine.

The place our group (and by that I mean just Hayama) chose was an electronic tool maker whose name I'd heard of. I did briefly research into becoming an engineer but I decided on working smarter not harder so that was out.

Not only did this place function as a simple company office building and a research institution, it was also linked to a museum which operated in the vicinity. It was an enterprise that perfectly incorporated interactive fun, what with the screen theatre that took up every square inch of the museum and so on.

Hayama must have had picked this place based on how good it was. As an intelligent person, I expected nothing less. But did he pick it knowing a huge crowd would gather around here, thus lowering my defences so that he could strike?

More than any other exhibition, the work of a machine maker was interesting to look at. I pressed my face against the glass, staring with rapt attention at the whirring machines whilst thinking of philosophy.

The purpose of life; to be created, to work, to die and be replaced.

As I built up a moderate distance between myself and the group, I looked around at the cluster of machines. In front of me were the boys and girls who were jabbering on and enjoying each other's company. I looked behind me but there was no one. The only thing that greeted me was a sweet, simple silence.

But that utter stillness was soon broken by the clicking sound of hard heels against the floor.

"Hikigaya. So you're all the way here, huh?"

For once, Hiratsuka-sensei was not wearing her white coat. That was because if she wore her white coat here, she'd be mistaken for one of the employees.

"Are you looking around too, sensei?" I said, making polite small talk. The favour she did me for Kawasaki was still fresh in my mind. That and the way Kawasaki destroyed her.

"Yeah, something like that," Hiratsuka-sensei responded, although her gaze never strayed from the dazzling machinery, not even to spare a glance at her students. "Heh… Japanese machinery is amazing." She paused. "I wonder if they'll ever make a Gundam while I'm still alive."

She really did have the brain of a little boy as she was admiring those steel bodies with sparkling eyes.

Do adults really lose their inner child? Doesn't the progression of time destroy all? No, please, stay that way sensei, it suits you.

The thought occurred to me that I was being extra introverted today. I wondered why as I began to follow the departing group. Hiratsuka-sensei must have noticed the sound of my footsteps when I began walking, because she matched her pace with mine.

"Oh, that reminds me, Hikigaya. About your hypothetical contest…"

Huh, which one?

Probably the one between Yukinoshita and I, where we were to decide whose method of helping people worked better through the Service Club. The winner would decide the loser's fate. I actually had nothing in mind for my ensured victory.

Sensei hesitated over the subject she had brought up herself.

I urged her to continue with my eyes alone.

At that, sensei opened her mouth once again, this time with renewed resolve. "There was too much interference from outside factors. The current framework is unable to cope with that. In lieu of that, I propose we alter one part of the system."

Her language was peppered with the same kinds of excuses a game company would use, but to cut a long story short, it seemed sensei's capacity was overloaded, causing her to crash.

"I don't really care either way…" I muttered still lost in thoughts of life in general.

No matter what I did, the rules of this contest were written by Hiratsuka-sensei. She'd change the rules on a whim regardless of what I said. The conditions for winning and losing were decided according to Hiratsuka-sensei's biased judgment in the first place.

Resistance was futile.

"In reality, it's already decided, isn't it?"

"No…" Hiratsuka-sensei said as she scratched her head. "There's still one person who's hard to handle."

Hard to handle. When I heard that, Yuigahama was the first one to spring to mind. She was the one girl who had joined our club after it had started - the club meant only for Yukinoshita and I to run.

You could call her an irregular existence. An outside factor was fitting too. Without being part of the original plan, she had snuck her way into the heart of the current Service Club.

In that case, perhaps it was a contest among the three of us: me, Yukinoshita - and now Yuigahama.

"Hmph, it appears this is the end of the line for the Mecha Mecha Road." (What the hell is a Mecha Mecha Road?) "If you decide to make a new Service Club, be sure to let me know. Come now, I won't do anything evil," Hiratsuka-sensei said with a grin, but it all sounded like a villain's stock lines to me…

Wait? Why would I make a new Service Club? Did you mean start a new contest? Yeah, not likely.

After that, Hiratsuka-sensei went back to the original Mecha Mecha Road. I saw her go, shook my head and then I turned to the exit.

I'd spent too long chatting with Hiratsuka-sensei. Hayama and the others were already gone, and the loudest sound I could hear was the rustling of the early summer wind in a deserted bamboo thicket. I tried looking around the secluded entrance when the sun began to set and the sky's colours started to change.

And there, I caught sight of a familiar dumpling ball hairstyle. Inadvertently, I had found her.

I had thought about confronting her when we walk together to the Service Club tomorrow but now seemed like a good time to catch her while she was alone. After dealing with Kawasaki's problem, it was time to deal with Yuigahama's.

The girl was sitting on the curb stone, hugging her knees and pressing away at her cell phone. For a moment, I deliberated about calling out to her. But in my hesitation, she ended up noticing me instead. "Oh, Hikki, you're late! Everyone's gone already, y'know?"

I did not know how to approach this situation. Before, people gave us requests that I focused on, broke down and found a solution to. This thing I was about to attempt had me free-styling it. "Oh, yeah. My bad, I was distracted by my inner robot… so, just where did everyone go?"

"Saize."

High school students in Chiba really love Saize. It was Chiba's landmark family restaurant since the beginning of time as the food was cheap and tasty so it was to no surprise.

"Aren't you going?" I asked her abruptly.

"Huh?!" Yuigahama blinked. "Oh, y'see, I was kinda waiting for someone, Hikki. There was something that's been on my chest for some time now and with Kawasaki's stuff and looking to the future. It got me thinking. What I always wanted to do ... or say."

As she played with her fingers, Yuigahama peered at me hesitantly. Seeing her like that, a thought crossed my mind and an involuntary frown broke out.

"Yuigahama, don't do it."

"Huh?! Um, what?! W-what are you talking about?!" Yuigahama waved her arms wildly, her face bright red.

Shit.

I was right.

She was going to confess her love/feelings to a monster. She was going to get hurt.

"It's not my place to stand in other people's way, in other people's business but please reconsider!"

Why break the status quo. Why rock the boat. Think Yuigahama, think! Run the simulations, calculate the outcomes.

One. Your feelings reach him and he accepts, you damage your relationship with Fire Queen. Things change for you and him and his clique. That smooth liar would have to juggle everything to keep his façade up. You either live happily ever after (unlikely) or break up (likely). Either way both outcomes damage your relationship throughout the rest of the year, possible throughout the rest of you high school. You get hurt.

Two. He rejects you, things forever become awkward between you guys. You get hurt.

Conclusion. On a million to one shot, you would find happiness for a short period of time at the cost of other people's happiness. That would taint your happiness. Overall, you were about to get hurt from your impulsive decision.

Why risk it all?

"I know I am just a club member to you. You have the right to make your own decisions but please think about this! Hayama Hayato isn't what he looks like!"

"W-what?" Yuigahama gazed at me in open shock, her eyes wide. The hammer hit the nail on the head.

"Ah, ... neh Hikki don't make jokes like that," Yuigahama laughed feebly, a hollow smile on her face. She lowered her head furtively.

"I am not joking. You called him here to confess but it will only end in tears!"

For a moment there, I was keenly aware of how roughly I spoke. I practically snarled those words at her. I wondered why I did that. It wasn't something I would get so riled up over. This is why I should have planned this conversation out. Approach it rationally to persuade Yuigahama to see my way, that he was a fake.

I scratched my head as a way of hiding my irritation. The silence rang out between us, an extension from the stillness of before, and it made me sick.

It was the first time I was unable to stomach the silence.

"You right."

I looked up at her with happiness at having gotten through to her.

Only for the joy to be ripped from my body.

I expected to see a sad but knowing smile or a crying face that was trying to look like it wasn't.

I what I didn't expect was a blank face, vacant of emotions.

"You are just a club member."

That blank face quickly turned into a face of anger. The level of cold rage that coloured her tone caused me to step back in surprise. It was wrong of me to expect that Yuigahama would just roll over and take it. Just because she was a nice girl who was always peppy and outgoing doesn't mean she is incapable of hate.

Everyone is capable of hate.

I now had her sole fury set on me.

"Why should I take advice from someone who laughs at other people's feelings.

Who looks at me as if I was a nuisance. Who looks at his male writer friend with disgust.

Who uses rumours and lies to help others instead of hard work.

Who thinks of his classmates, old and new, with distrust and misery.

Who didn't want to help when a brother came with an earnest request, instead helped out of obligation."

...

I opened my mouth, only to close it. She was right. Just like that time in the club room with Hayama Hayato when we were trying to help Kawasaki. All those times, why did I help those people? I wasn't going to be there to help everyone forever, they should have learnt how to help themselves. They should have taught themselves how to fish.

What gave me the right to try and interfere with other people's lives? Because of a Club? Some of the requests I took, I perverted it to suit my methods and results.

What gave me the right to meddle in Yuigahama's love life?

What gave me the right to meddle in other people's life?

Yuigahama might have received cooking lessons from her older siblings or mother instead of Yukinoshita and me. Yuigahama could have then formed a stronger bond with her family instead of being lectured about hard work from us. I took that away from her.

Zaimokuza would have eventually posted his writings online and receive feedback about it. He would have received more than three people's advice and therefore could improve further on his writing. People could have told him, in depth, how to structure his story, chapters, paragraphs and sentences better. Also they could have linked him to helpful websites instead of having a five minute rant of how crap it was and why. I stole that chance away from him.

Totsuka would have naturally attracted people to join the Tennis Club, I mean, just look at him! His dedication would have been enough, no need for lies and tricks. He could have done it all by himself, like a man he wanted to be. Because of me, we will never know.

With Hayama Hayato, when the school trip ends when the person spreading the malicious messages would have given up. I was not needed in that situation at all. I stuck my nose into it and created a grudge against someone.

As for Kawasaki, she was in no serious trouble. Eventually when it got closer to the end of the year, teachers would have started to mention scholarships to the students. All I did was save her some time and effort.

Truly, what was the point of the Service Club?

To Yuigahama I opened my mouth, in a vain attempt to form the words I knew I was supposed to say, but nothing came out. As my silence spoke the words I couldn't, Yuigahama let out a fake, cheerful laugh.

"Um, well you got your wish Hikigaya. Looks like I lost the courage to confess. You know?" As she went on laughing, she looked down pointedly, her face contorting with pain. "I mean, I was really going to try this time…"

I couldn't make out her expression after she hung her head. And yet she spoke so feebly, her voice trembling slightly.

"I just wanted closure," she murmured.

Yuigahama had always been a nice girl, and she would probably be one for the rest of her life. But at this moment I was the one who had hurt her the most since her dog died.

"Um, well, look," I began, still on the back foot.

She whipped her head up and glared at me. Her eyes were blurred with tears, and yet still she stared me down resolutely without averting her gaze. I was the one who had to look away.

"I hate you."

And with that, Yuigahama turned and ran.

I watched her until she was gone, and then abruptly I turned away.

Yuigahama might have gone to Saize where all the others were waiting. But that had nothing to do with me.

My introspective mood rose up to comfort me.

I hate being with people.

And I hate nice people.

I know how it works. That's what kindness is. Going out on a limb for someone.

People were kind to me as they were also to others. It's not as if I don't feel their kindness or anything.

No, I felt it.

You could even say I felt it too much. And because of that, I get the compulsion to help, to assist, to protect.

To Yuigahama, I tried to help her. To pay her back a molecule for the kindness she radiates on a daily basis.

Instead I made things worse. I even made her cry.

Perhaps I was just lucky with the previous clients of the Service Club. Perhaps Sensei could not use the Club to save me after all. This failed attempt at helping someone was the wakeup call I needed.

I should always just mind my own business.

And so I should also forever despise nice people.

End of Vol. 2

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AN: Question time!

1. I don't really like how I've written the content in this chapter. Any thoughts?

2. So we have come to the end of the 2nd Vol. Overall how did people feel about the volume as a whole? Any particular good points I need to keep with? Any bad points I need to work on?

For future chapters well,

To quote a certain Grandpa "Oh it gets darker Morty. Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures."

Coming soon: meeting Yukinoshita Haruno for the first time, dealing with Tsurumi Rumi's problems, sorting out Sagami Minami's ... excuses, the confession to Ebina and the nuclear fallout, pride before the fall with Isshiki Iroha.

After that point, Canon would be so f*cked over that I think I will have a surprise ending to wrap it all up.