Chapter 12

Someone was shaking me awake and it was getting really annoying. I swatted the hand away again for the thousandth time but it came back just like it did the numerous times I had tried to get rid of it. I wish I could open my eyes and the person so hard they would find it difficult to get their bearings for a week but I had to open my eyes first and I was too tired to open them. I had been by dad’s side for almost a week without sleep, waiting to see if he would wake up but he didn’t

Just like he did before, Duke had to force me to get some sleep and that was about an hour ago. The moment I hit my bed after taking a much needed shower, I could almost kiss Duke in appreciation as I realized I was on the brink of death with how exhausted my body was.

The delay in dad’s consciousness was taking a toll on the staff and their hope was slowly fading away with time. They seemed to have given up all together because they had heard he was not getting better so now all they did was throw me sympathetic and pitiful looks that I hated

“Miss Hazel, you have to wake up” I wonder what Josephine had against me. Lately, I’ve been having way too much contact with her than I like.

“Leave me alone” I managed to let out but she would not let me be. She really was annoying. I should tell Duke to fire her as soon as I gained the strength to get up.

“Miss Hazel, you have to wake up please, your dad is awake and dying, you need to see him before he dies” She snapped. It wasn’t the slap she had landed across my back that startled me awake, it was the words that came out of her mouth

The strength to open my eyes that I had been lacking, suddenly revealed itself. I sat up straight immediately and turned to her with wide, panicked eyes

“Dad is awake? For how long?” I stumbled out of my bed in an effort to make haste so I could reach him fast but I almost planted my face on the wall. Steady hands gripped my arms to stop me before I could make the fall

“Thank you” I rushed out. I tried to disentangle myself but because of the rush, it was proving to be a bit difficult. Josephine hurried to pry my hands off the blanket because I was making it worse. She successfully removed the tangled sheets from around my feet in a short amount of time and I was dashing out my door.

The mind was a terrible thing because suddenly, just as I pulled my door open, my legs screeched to a stop and I felt my whole body go stiff with fear. With numb hands, i tried to steady myself against the wall before looking at Josephine who was looking at me with pity that made my skin crawl

“What did you say?” I asked slowly, my voice above a whisper as if that would change her answer

“I said your father was awake” Her voice trembled as she spoke and it annoyed me. She was purposely not completing her statement and it made me furious

“You know what I'm asking, complete it. What did you say?” I asked loudly and she jumped back at the new volume of my voice

“You need to hurry Miss, you don’t have a lot of time” No.. No….No it can’t be happening now. It’s too soon. I don’t think I can do it. I am not ready to say goodbye. This wasn’t the plan

“You need to hurry before it’s too late” she spoke again, this time, her voice was more stern than before.

I ran out of the room down the hallways to dad’s bedroom. The staff were once again crowding the hallway and it felt like deja vu all over again. This time though, they didn’t have that worried look on their faces, they had tears streaming down their faces

I opened the door and stepped into the room. Unlike the first time he woke up, he was not smiling. I don’t think he was aware that I was in the room. He looked smaller now and he no longer had the oxygen mask on, he didn’t need it anymore.

Duke and Doctor Martin started to leave the room when I walked in. Before he passed, Duke laid his hands on my shoulders and gave it a little squeeze.

“Get a grip. He is already scared. He may not say it or look like he is but trust me he is. Try to make him comfortable” Dr Martin whispered to me before he left. I heard the door slam shut and we were alone

I don’t know how long I stood there staring at him as he breathed so slowly as though it was painful to take in just one breath. He turned to the door and was a little bit shocked to see me standing there

“Hey…princess” I choked on my tears at how much he struggled to say those two little words. I ran to his side and slid onto my knees by his bed

“Dad” I cried out brokenly. He tried to give me a smile or at least tried to. I was trying to be calm just like Dr Martin had suggested but it was easier said than done

“Stop crying please.” he begged me. I nodded my head and I tried to swallow back my tears but how could I possibly stay calm

“I’m trying. I am but it is really hard”

“I know it is hard but you have to try for me.” he whispered. His voice was coming out in short breaths and it was scary to see. I looked into his eyes and saw fear lingering far beneath them and I knew I had to try.

“You remember the first time I cooked a meal and almost burnt down the house? I had been so mad because I believed there was nothing I could do wrong so I locked myself in my room for two days without food and you had to break down the door”

“Yeah, I remember..” He started wheezing trying to gulp in more air and my hands flew to my mouth as i watch him struggle

“Dad, don’t say anything. I will do the talking just listen okay” I told him when he had calmed down. Tears were running down his face from the struggle. I used my hand to clean the tears

“Okay.” he whispered weakly.

“My life was better because I had you, you know? My friends didn’t like hanging out with me not because I didn’t want to like I told you, but because I always found a way to brag about how cool my dad was” the memory brought a smile to my face

The friends I had back then were amazing people but they got tired of me when I kept on talking about my dad and how amazing it was. One of my friends had said I was trying to make their parents look shitty, that’s why.

“I didn’t mind losing them because I had you. You were always there for me, no matter how busy you were. You would always find time to attend all my school activities and you don’t even know how much it meant.” I watched him with pain and disappointment in myself. I have never felt so hopeless before

“Then, people would say it was normal for rich kids to have absent parents at events but that was not the case for me. You never made me feel like mom wasn’t there and you always put me first, something no one would be capable of doing anymore” I slid my hands into his and felt him squeeze mine weakly. He was slowly falling asleep. He was trying so hard to keep his eyes open but i could see it was so much of a struggle

“Don’t hold on any longer daddy. I know you are holding on just for me but I hate to see you in so much pain so you can let go dad. I will be fine, I promise” at this point, i couldn’t stop the tears from pouring down my face. I didn’t make any sound. I bowed my head and tried as hard as I could to swallow my tears. I had to do this.

“I always told myself I wanted to marry someone like you and also be a parent just like you. I know I would try my best to be a parent like you but the husband part may not be possible any more. Atticus isn’t exactly a lovely person at least from what i’ve seen” his eyes were now closed and his breathing was so shallow that I could barrel hear it

“I’ll never forget you dad, I want you to know that. Just like you never forgot Mom,I’ll do the same for you both. It was an honor being your daughter” His hands went slack and the line went dead. I became numb.