Chapter 11

It's been three days since Atticus walked out after we signed the marriage certificate and there had been no contact from him at all. Not that I was expecting any form of communication with him or anything but somehow for reasons unknown to me, I felt a little ache at being so blatantly tossed aside because that was what it was, he didn't need to do anything for me and he didn't owe me anything. He was obviously letting me know he didn’t care and that’s to be expected since we were strangers and I hated myself for feeling a bit irritated.

I dropped the cloth I had been using to wipe dad’s cold and still body. He was running a temperature so I decided to clean him with a cold cloth to see if I could reduce the fever. He had been unconscious since yesterday and I had made sure not to leave his side. I wanted to be the first person he sees when he wakes up anytime

I’m sure I smelled terrible since I haven't taken a shower since yesterday but I didn’t care at all. I was too scared to eat or even bathe and I had to ignore my stomach’s plea to eat because I don’t think I can even stomach anything.

My hands were shaking as I reached out to adjust his blankets so he would not get cold. My thoughts were unstable and I couldn't even process anything. This was obviously his final moments but I needed him to not leave me like this. I wanted to talk to him more, see his eyes more, hear him laugh before he left me. It isn’t fair to deprive me of all this.

“Please dad, wake up. Don’t leave me like this, I beg you” my chest aches and my eyes watered as pain engulfed me. The thought of him finally leaving was so painful, i was finding it difficult to breath

“Miss Hazel, breathe slowly, try to breathe” I could hear someone trying to talk to me but my vision was getting blurry and my breaths were coming out in my pants. My ears were ringing and the voice trying to calm me down suddenly felt like nails against my skin so I pulled away from the skin

“Hurry, call the doctor” the voice spoke up again and I tried to shake my head. I tried to get myself to calm down by taking small breaths. Soon, I could feel my vision clear and I tried to sit up not even knowing when I had left the chair I was sitting on and landed on the floor.

When I was seated on the chair, I looked around to see the staff crowded in the hallways. I suddenly felt irritated and annoyed with myself for causing such a scene. The looks of pity, sympathy and worry on their faces was making me furious that I almost wished I could wipe it off their faces. They should not give me that look. I was not a pitiful person and I was not asking for anyone’s sympathy. Someone handed me a glass of water and I took it and muttered a low thank you.

Duke must have sensed how my mood had turned foul because he ushered all the staff out of the room and shut the door after they all filed out of the room. I took a little sip from the water and I couldn’t drink anymore so I turned the water into the bowl beside me before dropping the cup on the bed stand. I dropped my head into my palm and let out a deep breath as I felt myself finally calm down.

“Do you think I am over reacting? Can one even over react when about to lose a loved one? I feel pathetic” I asked Duke. I am frustrated and I feel pathetic that I am acting this way but isn't it normal? Do people not also act this way?

“It’s perfectly okay to cry and be overwhelmed with emotion. It is not easy to see your loved one lying unconscious especially when you know there is no hope of recovery. It is a difficult thing to experience” I should feel a sense of relief at his consoling words but I could not. Not when I know a but is lingering somewhere

“But?” I urged him to speak because I knew he had more to say but was being hesitant mayne not to hurt me but I would rather hear and take what he said than to live in the dark

“But I think you should be stronger and not let yourself be too overwhelmed. Your father is about to leave you a fortune and you are married to a powerful man. You would get a lot of people who would want to harm you especially because of your husband. There are women who would do anything to be his wife and you have taken that spot so you don’t have the opportunity to show weakness”

“Why would anyone want to harm me because of a man?” It was ridiculous to think that there are women that would hurt me just because I was married to Atticus. I know he was wealthy and would have girls fawning over him but for them to go that far for a man

“You are getting it all wrong my dear. Not just for the man himself but also for the power he holds” Now that makes sense

“I am not planning to let anyone walk all over me, Duke. Crying now doesn’t make me weak. They aren’t here to see me like this.” I insisted but Duke shook his head in disagreement

“It starts now. If you aren’t able to control yourself now in such a delicate situation, how would you manage in worse situations?”

“I doubt anything could be worse than seeing dad die slowly without being able to help him” what other unfortunate incident could I possibly go through that would be more painful than this

“You’ll see when you get there but at the same time, I hope you never experience that”

I couldn’t reply to him so we just stood there and watched dad as he slept, if I could even call it that.

We stood there for some time before there was a knock on the door. Duke told the person to come in and Josephine walked in. She was holding a little bag and she handed it over to Duke as soon as she approached us. After she handed the bag to Duke, she left the room immediately

“It seems your wedding and engagement rings have arrived. Mr Hayland sent them” Atticus handed the bag to me which I collected with a little hesitation

“Engagement ring? Why would he send an engagement ring when we were never engaged?”

“I don’t know. Perhaps, he wants it to seem like there was an engagement first before marriage, but either ways you have to wear both since he sent them”

I opened the bag and pulled out the black velvet ring box that was inside. The box was really smooth. I opened it and gasped when I saw the rings inside. The engagement ring was an 18k clear cut and crystal diamond ring. It was really beautiful and would definitely draw the attention of everyone and I couldn’t help but feel proud.

The wedding band was just a simple gold ring with little clear diamonds on it. I slid the engagement ring on first then the wedding band. It was a bit heavy but not uncomfortable. I lifted my fingers to inspect the rings. They looked like one ring that had two layers and it was stunning. Not to brag, but my slender fingers made the ring look more beautiful

“I must say, Mr Hayland has amazing taste. You should call him to tell him thank you”

“Why should I tell him thank you? If he couldn’t bother to let me know he was sending the rings then I won’t bother to tell him thank you” I was even surprised that he even sent the rings because I definitely wasn’t expecting it

“You should not behave that way” Duke scolded but I ignored him and went back to sit down so I could admire the rings properly. I didn’t care who they came from, I was a sucker for pretty things and the ring was stunning.

“I feel like a married woman now that I am wearing his ring”

“You would do amazing. Your mother would have been proud” Mom also loved pretty things. If what I remembered of her was correct, she would squeal at the sight of the rings and would not stop flaunting it.

The memories of her made my belly warm and I couldn't help but smile at that. It’s been a while since I was able to think of mom and not cry. I had foolishly allowed the pain of her death to cloud the good memories I had of her. I would never do that again.

“I just wish dad would wake up and spend his final moments with me. I know he is in so much pain and I want him to no longer be in pain but he can’t leave me like this”

“He would see you before he goes, your father loves you too much for that’’ I wanted to tell Duke that death doesn’t recognize or acknowledge love but i held back my tongue and prayed in my heart.

I was about to argue with what he said when my stomach decided this was the right time to not only interupt me but also embarrass me as it grumbled so loudly. I could feel my cheeks heat up in embarassment

"when last did you eat, Miss Hazel?" Duke asked narrowing his eyes in suspicion

"ehnnn this morning?" I almost smacked my forehead at how stupid i sounded. there was no way he would believe me when I also wasn't sure of myself and I was right

"It's so obvious you are lying. You would go downstairs and have something to eat else you won't be allowed in here for the rest of the day or until you eat"

"you can't do that." i exclaimed

"sure i can. I would not have you falling sick when your father is in that state" He said gesturing towards where dad laid and I felt my resolve crumble so I began to make my way towards the door. I would just eat something really fast and come back as soon as i could

"you better eat a proper meal and take a shower"he called after me and I swore in my head. He knew me way too well. Guess I won't be coming back as early as I would have wanted.