Chapter 5: Yearning

One day Liz commented "I really would love to have a cute pet in my living quarters." To which Luther retorted "I believe that is against the rules the previous warden made."

Liz says "I know, but I really don't understand why mom forbidden me to keep any pets. I mean I just love watching cute puppy and kitty videos when I have free time."

"And that's what she said. Any thoughts?" Mira answers "She likes cute things, that's for sure. But I don't really know how you could indulge her desire to have things like that. I mean didn't you kill the previous warden's cat when she began her work?"

Luther says "That is what happened. The face that she made when she saw me with the bloody guts of mister fluffles was…" Mira stops Luther by saying "I think that's enough details. Even I start to feel bad for my previous prey."

Luther says "I just… I always felt sorry about the incident, but Elis never looked at me the same. And even when she said that day that she had forgiven me, I was still left feeling that she never truly forgave me."

Mira then says "And you want to somehow fulfill the warden's desire to have a cute pet or something. I mean don't these videos she is speaking of already fill the itch for her?"

Luther then says "I mean, you sometimes feel the itch to just be there. Like when I wanted to go to a gaming convention when I saw what it was like from the internet, but I never truly could go to a crowded place like that."

Mira says "I have no clue what you are talking about, but if you feel like having something, then go and try to have it for a brief moment, risks be damned." Luther ponders a little as he mutters "Have it for a brief moment you say?"

A moment later Luther figures out something and says "I know what I have to do. Thanks for the advice." Mira is confused, but she looks at Luther with a smug face as she says "Don't mention it. I don't know what you are going to do, but good luck with it. You have my blessings."

Luther was about to leave as Mira spoke, but then stopped and asked "What does your blessings have to do with me and the warden?" Mira says in an annoyed tone "Don't worry about the details. Just go and do what you think is right." Luther leaves and Mira is left pondering "I just hope he doesn't try too hard."

Then the next day that the warden was free, Luther said that he'd bring her to someplace she would enjoy.

Luther said "Close your eyes and I'll teleport us to our destination." Liz does so and Luther teleports both of them in front of a shop. Luther gave permission to Liz to open her eyes, and when she opened, she saw that they were in front of a cat cafe in the city.

Liz was excited and said "A cat cafe?! I get to go and interact with cute cats?!" Luther says "Lower your voice. Now let's go and experience the wonders of cat cafes."

They went in and the moment they were in the room with the cats, Liz started making weird sounds that cat lovers sometimes make. She seems to enjoy herself as she hangs around the cats. Luther can't help but smile.

Then one of the cats brushes Luther's leg to get his attention, and attention that cat got. Luther had an incredible urge to make this cat's inside it's outsides, but he held himself back and gave the cat some scratches. The cat seemed to love it.

Eventually, Luther was surrounded by multiple cats who demanded his attention, which made Liz a bit jealous. To cat lovers this would be heaven, but for Luther, this was something he couldn't bear. So in the name of not traumatizing Liz, Luther said "Excuse me contractor, but I will take a short leave."

And as he finished saying that, Luther teleported away. This caused confusion for the cats, but they soon got over it and returned to doing whatever they were doing.

Luther was now at the prison, where he was gasping for air and holding a hand on his face. He says "Damn. I knew I was taking a risk by going there, but it seems that it's harder than I thought. I feel sorry for Liz and the cats for leaving so suddenly, but if I would have stayed longer, I might have done something I regretted."

Then Julius said "And that's why you came to a pedophile's cell to cool off." Luther says "Exactly. If anybody I know knows restraint, it is you." Julius says "I'm honored, but somehow I feel like I'm being insulted."

Luther says "Children should remain pure was it? Though I'm still quite not sure if you truly haven't done anything to a kid." Julius says "Whatever the case may be, you seem quite exhausted."

Luther says "I don't know how much you crave for having "fun" with kids, but you should know how it feels to keep it under the radar." Julius seems to misunderstand something as he says "So you also have urges you want to control. You came to the right place my friend. Let me give you some piece of advice. Repeat after me. When toddler, no fondler."

Luther repeats while confused "When toddler, no fondler?" Julius shouts "Say it confidently!" Luther says "When toddler, no fondler." Julius shouts "Louder!" Luther repeats "When toddler, no fondler!"

Julius says with a raised voice "Good. Now repeat it a hundred times." After which Luther keeps repeatedly shouting "When toddler, no fondler" hundred times. As he is doing so, he keeps wondering "What am I doing?" but keeps repeating the sentence over and over again.

When Luther had done it hundred times, Julius said "Good. Now say "Observe, never touch" a hundred times with the same volume as last time." Luther does so as he thinks to himself "No really. What the fuck am I doing?" Meanwhile the other prisoners wonder along the lines "Why the fuck is that monster repeating a mantra that that pedo uses?"

Eventually Luther finishes repeating the mantra and Julius says "Good. Now repeat both of those when you are about to cross the line. I'm sure you can overcome your desires and not give in."

Luther thinks "Whatever I was doing, thank the gods it's finally over." He says to Julius "Thanks, I guess." Julius says with a smile "Any time. Just remember, if you are ever in need of further guidance, if I'm around then just come to me." Luther leaves and Julius mutters to himself with a smile "I see that I have a fellow connoisseur during my stay here. The bond between us will be unbreakable, my friend. No, my brother."

Back in front of the cat cafe, Luther has chills running down his spine. He thinks that there is no helping it and goes back inside.

When Luther gets back to the room where Liz is, Liz's face turns from happy to moody. Then Liz says "You sure left me hanging." Luther responds with "Sorry, I felt a little ill so I thought I would go get some fresh air to feel better." As Luther says that. he thinks "Like in hell I'm going to tell her what I spent my last fifteen minutes doing."

Liz then says "If that's all, then alright. At least I had the cats keep me some company. Do you want to join us?" Luther thinks for a second and then says "I will stay here and look." Liz responds with "If that's what you want." Then Liz returns to her haze as she is having fun with the cats.

Luther keeps thinking "Observe, never touch. Observe, never touch. Observe, never touch." Then some cat suddenly comes to demand some attention from Luther and he shouts inside his mind "But what if they come and touch me?! What should I do now?!" The cat keeps brushing its head against Luther, who is feeling all kinds of conflicting emotions right about now.

Luther keeps his composure and doesn't interact with the cat. Eventually the cat loses interest and goes to play with other guests.

Some time passes and Liz seems to be satisfied. Then the two leave and pay for what they owe to the shop. After they leave, Luther asks Liz "Did you enjoy it?" To which Liz says "Yes I did. But I couldn't help but feel a little sad that you weren't having as fun as me. Next time, we will go to a place where you enjoy spending time. Just tell me when and where so we can go together."

Luther bows down and says "All that I need is to fulfill my contractors wishes to the best of my ability. My enjoyment is not necessary for your attention, but thank you nevertheless." Liz giggles and says "Stop doing that out here, you are looking ridiculous. Now let's get back to the bastion.

Both get back to the prison via Luther's teleportation. Then Liz says "Wanna come to my room and play some games?" Luther smiles and says "It would be my pleasure."

Meantime in a place far, far away. A queen wallows in loneliness in her room as no one dares to approach her. Even her servants are somewhat afraid of her, but she keeps this grief to herself and continues reading books all day long as she watches her kingdom go on.

One of her relatives said long "Whatever you do, don't go to a realm that is outside your own. Otherwise you might end up meeting a man that will lead you to ruin."

The queen wonders to herself "Surely meeting that man might bring me to ruin, but what if that is so? If I just keep livin on with my current duties as is, nothing will change. So if I would meet that man and bring ruin to the kingdom, would that not bring color to my grey world, however brief that may be? Isn't my happiness considered at all?"

And as she was looking at her kingdom from her balcony, the queen said "No. I will defy what my relatives want me to be and bring color to my world. No matter how things turn out, surely one should get to be a little selfish sometimes."

The queen then readies to leave to the realm where the fated man resides, but before she leaves, she puts some of her power into a stone in case she meets her ruin. The queen says "If I fail to fulfill my duty, the kingdom will perish without me. That is why I will give some time for my relatives to replace me should the ruin find me. After all, I'm still the queen of the kingdom and I must make sure my subjects are safe."

And so the queen leaves her realm to meet the man of her fate. She is not afraid of death, as every living thing naturally fears her. Nothing never has dared to cause harm to her, so why would this man be any different.

While Luther was reading a book that he got from Liz, he felt a sudden urge to kill. This was normal, but this time there was a direction where he was being drawn to. He noticed that every other person was filled with terror. "Why am I feeling this way?" Luther wondered.

Luther couldn't help but to go and investigate the source of this anomaly. And once he got to the source, he realized what was happening.

A petite short woman was standing on the road. She had silver hair and violet eyes. Everyone around her had distanced themselves from her and she was feeling lonely and sad.

Then Luther appeared in front of the woman. He knew who she was, but she was confused about why she was in the living world.

This woman who exudes an aura of death that others flee from was something that Luther didn't feel. All Luther felt was the willingness to mutilate that tiny, innocent person. She was the one who Luther was never meant to see. She was the god of death Gilaia.

As Luther walked closer and closer to Gilaia, he felt the forbidden urge to cause her as much suffering as he could. Gilaia seemed indifferent about Luther and just waited for him to come closer.

Each step was harder to resist. Each step brought the catastrophe closer. With each step, the immortality that the world thinks it wants but doesn't need is coming closer to reality.

When Luther got as close as he could without touching Gilaia. He was sweating as he tried to resist the urge. Gilaia just stared at Luther as he was breathing heavily.

Then Gilaia said "Are you the one who will bring this world to ruin?" Luther bent to hug the god of death as he was trying to alleviate some urges. He had to control his strength so as to not squish her to death, for that person seemed like a fragile being to him.

Gilaia was confused and asked "What are you doing? Living beings shouldn't be able to live after touching me." Luther managed to mutter "Leave."

Gilaia asked "What?" To which Luther then shouted "Leave before I kill you! I can't hold it in much longer!"

Gilaia then smiled and asked "And why would you do that? What makes you think there is no other outcome?" Luther answered "It's my curse! If I see something innocent or something with good karma, I feel the urge to kill it!"

Then Gilaia decides to hug Luther back. Then she said "You really are as lonely as me. We both yearn for something to hold on to, but our circumstances make it difficult. So if you fear what you will do, just remember."

Then the air gets cold as Gilaia mutters "Infinity is not for mortals to comprehend. So be like rock in a river and be corroded away in your own time."

Luther doesn't fully understand what is the meaning behind those words, but he decides to let go of Gilaia for a moment and says "Thank you."

Then Gilaia rips off her left ring finger and offers it to Luther. She says "May this alleviate your suffering." Luther then takes it and eats it whole.

A sudden urge of power flows inside Luther. As if death becomes a constant event in his immortal body. There is no suffering, but instead, there is a glimmer of peace. The urge to kill Gilaia has lessened significantly.

Gilaia asks "How do you feel?" Luther then realizes something and decides to kneel down as he says "Fine, my lady. Thank you for granting me this wonderful gift."

Gilaia then says "Please stop acting like that around me. You are now part of me, so we should be friendly with each other."

Luther says "Is that how it is? Then…" Luther stands up and gives a small but genuine smile as he says "Then nice to see you, Gila. I hope we can get along."