9- Giving Up

Shawn can't have anything to do with me anymore. All I can depend on is going in a group. I don't want him to have any special memories,ones he will miss or regret. I have a limited time to live . I will enjoy every single moment silently. It hurts to let go, but I cannot do anything. Every move I make make is frightening me. "Could there be some sort of rule I can't break "

February 18th

Shawn has a girlfriend now . Her name is Annabelle. She's popular and pretty . I never expected one sided love could hurt so much . My heart is in flames . I love him so much . I'm sure of it . Does he ? That's an answer I'll never get. I don't want to hurt him or make him despise me. After my death , I want him to be one of those who gossip :" Did you hear about that girl who died at school." And not one of those who would feel pain. My heart is so empty,yet there's this little spark called love in it . Oh so I hate this feeling.