Chapter :Selection

"I fell in love with him. But I don't

just stay with him by default as if

there's no one else available to

me. I stay with him because I

choose to, every day that I wake

up, every day that we fight or lie

to each other or disappoint each

other. I choose him over and over

again, and he chooses me."

-----------Veronica Roth.

_____________________________

Blue

Yesterday I got my acceptance letter from Billington and Co.

Yippeee!!!!

Earlier I couldn't believe my eyes and God only knows that I even pinched myself and it hurt like a bitch.Finally I got landed myself on my first official job and decades it seemed. My first job was that of a teaching guide and that too of a notorious 8 year old fellow. It still amazes me how I tolerated him.Though it tested my patience but I learned a lot.

Sighing, I gulped down the entire bottle of water in a heart bit and longing looked at my half eaten dark chocolate.Aahh...,Dark chocolate keeps me sane if you ask me when other things don't. Yet in moments like this when I want to be cheerful, I freeze.Apart from my parents,who no doubt would be hopeful but .....Can't ever my life run smooth without a but.Huffing myself off my comforter,I straightened my specs and dug out my iPhone from my backpack.Settling back on my crumpled bed,I itched to call him.The name seemed to be glimmering like a unopened Ferrero Rocher packet.My secret fantasy treat.Only if I could gather the courage to call him up and hear him breathe. His husky exotic breathe is enough because his voice would be too much. Since I couldn't muster enough strength, I trampled my scream with my pillow. Sometimes all these emotions make me feel trapped but I can't discard them. My feelings for him were true,though I couldn't place them in a category.If I had a choice I would want him just to be in my life however minor or minimal it be.Beggers can't be choosers.

Apart from all this,I clench my eyes shut as I try to visualize him.My breathe hitches when Edward's warmth fills in my proximity. His mild aqua cologne mixed with his own autumn spicy presence flares my senses,making them go into haywire. The strong sharp curves of his cheeks and shoulders calling me like a siren,enticing me to worship him as a whole.Oh Lord, who would have thought a simple glimpse of this Lucifer can suck all my air and thoughts at once.And the upturning of his smart foul mouth can be so ridiculously panty dropping. Envisioning him can be so painstakingly hurting yet a solace.Yes,solace because somehow his darkness attracts me similar to a moth towards the flame.He is the welcoming darkness that lures in the chasm of self exploration.Amidst all his darkness and shadows, Ed doesn't realize that he too contains the sparkle of sizzling flame.Better to say he is the epitome of blazing Inferno.

"This won't do",I chastised myself

Thus slowly I normalized myself and breathing because this impossible thoughts won't lead me anywhere.It is suffice that he is safe and healthy. So biting my lips,I try to suck in the tears that glided down my cheeks. I hate this feeling of utter surrender,hence I rummaged out my laptop and books from bag and started to study.Thinking of this stupid fantasies won't fetch me good grades even....so here I go.

I don't know how much time had passed but as I groggily looked up from the reverie of books,it was well past eleven at night.I was baffled yet sucking on my parched lips I tried to think what sound startled me then.Taking a sip from my now turned cold herbal tea,I searched for the ding sound.At the end I concluded it might be from my laptop, so as soon as I opened it,a mail greeted me and my eyes turned like saucers..

"Holly shit!",was all I could mutter.

For I have received an acceptance letter from Empire Co. and Ltd. as well. OMG.

And guess what it's from Edward's company.