Or lose everything

Hyun was sitting at a table in a cafe and watching the people around him. Two mothers with strollers and sleeping children, a group of old men discussing business, and an elderly woman fighting with the technology that her phone represented. 

All those and many more were interesting for him to watch. Students laughing, taking photos, and someone drawing angrily something into a sketchbook. 

"His facial structure is too hard," she said and looked directly at Hyun. He was sure she tried to draw him, but yes, had a hard time. 

Hyun never considered himself handsome, but he was almost identical to his brother, who was the visual of the group, so he had to be handsome. 

And Seonho, his boyfriend, who was now twenty minutes late, always commented about Hyunyeong's handsomeness. So it had to be true, at least partially. 

The kid cried out, and the mother scooped him up. It was just a small baby, a newborn. Sometimes Hyun regretted he wouldn't have children of his own, but then, he could adopt or surrogate some. Somewhere. But somehow the urge was sometimes stronger than at other times. 

"I'm sorry I'm late, traffic," Seonho sent his message and Hyun was now calmer. Nothing happened to him. It was just a traffic jam, which was not unusual in Seoul. 

He already took out his laptop, something he carried along almost everywhere. There was a chance an inspiration would strike him, so he had to be prepared. Or at least have a pen and paper. 

Hyun was writing web novels. And he was… fairly popular. Not like others. He had no hits, but people read his novels and he didn't have to be afraid of going hungry. Well, mostly because of his brother, but, you know…

Another notification chimed in his phone. Livestream. Hyun was getting engrossed in the game he watched with Seonho before. It had nothing to do with the man, but he was strangely relaxed by watching them fight and use different strategies and he would find himself being calm and being able to write more easily. 

But he watched Korean teams. He was never able to watch the Chinese team that Seonho liked, because there wasn't time to ask him about it.

It was Wooyoung. His game nick was Youngblood, which was somehow hilarious to Hyun, just because Wooyoung was already twenty-six, considered a veteran. He was the Korean team captain, and someone that Hyun liked, easy to follow, and calm, and his instructions and explanations were clear. Wooyoung answered comments if you asked about the game and sometimes even joked about other things. 

So Hyun put in his earphones and watched the live stream, waiting for Seonho. But even after the livestream ended, Seonho was nowhere to be found.

Hyun wrote him another message asking where he was, but it was already so late that the waiter asked him if he could leave and that they needed to close. Hyun paid for whatever he had and left, deciding he wanted to think and take a stroll. It was a nice, hot summer night.

He was thinking all about his novel. He was preparing for a new one. The content editor asked already for at least a draft of what it would be about, but Hyun was stuck a bit. He would call it a slump, but it wasn't like that. He had ideas. But he just had no idea how to formulate them into words. His phone rang, jerking him out of his deep thinking.

"Yes, honey? Where are you?" he asked, his voice didn't deepen, more like it sweetened. But soon, the words he heard saddened him. 

"We need to talk," Seonho said, and Hyun could hear the annoyance in his voice. It was happening again. 

"Can we talk face to face?" he asked, hoping to at least see Seonho and try to talk him out of whatever was going to happen.

"No, I just need a break. We can't go out much. You are always at home, always cautious about your brother. You don't buy me branded things. So I just don't feel we are compatible anymore." Hyunyeong was speechless. Those were the reasons?

"But you knew about this from the beginning! We talked about my writing, you know that Seonghwa is everything to me. He is the last family member I have!" Hyun could help himself to shout into the phone. It was so loud that the pedestrians walking beside him had turned around. 

"I thought it would change!" Hyun had enough, no people changed. Especially when it came to his dreams and family members. 

Hwa and Hyun both lost their parents and lived with their grandparents, so they always suck together. They needed money, but Hwa was a trainee, so Hyun was the one working three jobs so Hwa could fulfill his dream. Now, Seonghwa makes money so Hyun can fulfill his dream of being a writer. They always had each other's backs. 

"Well, I don't think that will ever change," Hyun said coldly. Nothing would get in between him and his family. 

"Well, then we are over!" Seonho exclaimed and hung up the call. Hyun was just staring at the phone and was speechless. Then, in a fit of rage, he threw it on the ground. The screen shattered, and the photo of him and Seonho he had at the back flew somewhere. Hyun squatted down and buried his head in his knees. He had no tears to shed. It wasn't the end of the world, but it hurt. It really hurt. Seonho was someone precious to him. 

Hyunyeong stood up and collected the remains of his phone. He didn't have the money to buy a new one, but he still had his old one somewhere. On his way home, he bought extra spicy tteokbokki to kill his sadness and a few bottles of soju to drown his tears in. 

He was all alone again. As he always was. Hyun drank so much he only knew he had fallen asleep on the couch, but he had no idea how he got there.