King Fring is the king of Kuganx, ruling over everyone who is permanently high on crystal meth?!

Walter and Jesse idly waited for the strange elf to awaken from her meth-induced slumber. Jesse had repeatedly tried starting a conversation, but Walter was more invested in hypothesizing about where they were and how they might reverse their strange circumstances.

A few hours later, the girl's shrill voice once again pierced the two men's ears. Walter wondered how it could be possible for such an annoyingly high pitched voice to exist, not realizing how lucky he was that he would canonically die before Vtubers became a reality. 

Nevertheless, she screamed out wildly. "METH!" She whirled up and jumped to her feet, one tit landing on her shoulder. 

But Walter knew a thing or two about abusing people younger than him. Jesse knew all too well. In the downtime, he had scraped up the broken open bag and placed some of the baby blue scales from Tuco's rainbow hide and crushed them up to look like crystal meth. He dangled the freshly faked bag of "meth" before the elf girl.

"No, French girl, you're going to tell us everything we want to know, then I'll give you this bag of meth."

The tweaking elven girl's bloodshot eye twitched and her hands jittered violently, but she nodded.

"First, I want you to tell us who you are and where we are. Then you're going to tell me where you're getting your meth from."

"Yeah, bitch!" Jesse added, in his mind playing the bad cop to Walter's good cop.

A stream of drool spilled out the side of her mouth as she looked to her side to quietly converse with nobody. Then, she turned back to the meth cooks. 

"My name is Wegorina, but my friends call me Gor! And this," she gestured to the air beside her, "this is Duki nee-san!"

Walter and Jesse shared a confused look, both men realizing this girl was either a schizophrenic or hallucinating from the meth. In his own mind, Walter credited himself with realizing it first, then conveying it to Jesse silently.

Jesse had dealt with drug addicts many times, though. He nodded casually to the empty space, which seemed to perk up Gor.

Impatience took over Walter's voice. "It's nice to meet you both, but Gor, where are we?"

She flamboyantly flourished her arms out. "Welcome to the Elven meth forest! We're a clan of elves who devote our timeless lives to the mastery of meth cooking! Heisenberg nii-san and Jesse nii-san are our inspirations, the symbols of what it means to master cooking methamphetamine!"

A hyped smile started creeping up Jesse's face until Walter side-eyed him and he returned to his bad cop role.

"Great," Walter sarcasted, intrigued at the thought of having fans, but worried at the consequences that might come packaged with. "Gor, do you make your own meth?"

"Yes yes yes! All the meth we could ever want, made with the finest of magic chemicals to make the effects healthy and permanent!"

Walter scoffed. Permanent meth would be bad for business. 

"But…" Gor flipped her tit off her shoulder and did that stupid anime girl thing where she pressed her index fingertips together and pouted. "...we don't have anymore scientists who can make meth because they're all too high! Permanent meth wasn't a good idea! That's why we need you, Heisenberg nii-san and Jesse nii-san, to make magic meth that gets us high but doesn't last forever."

Walter was finally satisfied with the answers, having realized that asking any worldly, important, or meaningful questions of this meth-addicted elf would probably lead to more confusion. 

"Take us to your cooks. We need to see the lab."

"-Bitch." Jesse added again. Walter glared at him, so Jesse decided to shut up.

"There's a little problem with that…" Gor unknowingly yanked at her twin tails, grinding her teeth for a brief moment. "Our labs were taken over! Gus Fring and his cook Gale made the permanent meth recipe and gave it to everyone. Now King Fring is the king of Kuganx, our home, ruling over everyone who is permanently high on crystal meth!"

"King Fring…" Jesse chuckled to himself.

Walter rolled his eyes. "So you're suggesting that we find a cure to the permanent meth and make a recipe that doesn't last forever."

"YES PLEASE!" Gor yelled out without realizing it. "I didn't take the permameth, so I'll need some meth soon, but I don't have anymore except that bag in your hand! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE can I have the meth now?!"

"When we get to, uh, Kuganx."

Her eyes ravenously locked onto the bag of "meth" like an angry pitbull who just spotted a fresh toddler. "OWO YOU'RE SUCH A MEANIE! LET'S GO!"

Walter and Jesse were led hastily through the forest by Gor, until the canopy grew so dark that only speckles of light broke through the dense leaf cover above. Finally, Gor stopped and pointed to a shabby, busted shack.

Jesse furrowed his brows. "Yo, Gor, is this your place?"

"Yes sir Jesse nii-san!"

"Are you, like, chill with the people who live in your city, or like, why are you out here?"

Gor frowned. "My friends in Kuganx didn't like Duki nee-san, so they said I had to leave. I've been trying to make my own meth in this shack ever since."

"Uh-huh…" He trailed off, more worried with every second.

"No wonder you're failing," Walter scoffed. "Your lab is a disaster."

 Suddenly, a banging sound erupted from inside the shack, like a clattering of broken wood and a person stumbling around.

Gor whipped her head around and darted feverishly toward the shack as a voice called out from inside.

"HELP! I HEAR VOICES OUT THERE! I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME! YOU'VE GOTTA HELP ME! THIS CRAZY WOMAN TIED ME UP AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM!"

Walter and Jesse exchanged a look, recognizing the voice.

Jesse spoke first. "What the hell is Saul doing here?"

"I don't know, but I think I know why this junkie has been looking for us."

The two cautiously approached the shack just as Gor raised a tree branch over her head to swing at a battered, beaten, and bloody Saul Goodman. He was tied in a chair with two broken front legs, restrained but kicking his feet to try to avoid Gor's swing.

Walter frantically held his hands out to stop Gor. "If you hit that man, you're not getting any of this meth."

She stared at Saul, who shot her a snarky smile. "Hey, Gor, amiga, I don't think you need the beating stick right now. And look! You found the two guys who can save your town! What do you say you untie me, we call it a deal, and I go on my way."

Gor growled and barked at Saul. 

"Gor, hey hey hey hey! Easy, girl, no hard feelings at all. You paid me by teaching me the value of avoiding crack houses in the woods, and I got you Heisenberg in the flesh! That's a hell of a deal, sister, and now you need to honor your end of it."

"Like I said," Walter quietly, but sternly commanded her. "Hit him, no meth."

Saul whispered to her. "I'd listen to the guy who can make you an unlimited supply of meth."

Gor threw the stick down and untied Saul, who patted himself clean and quickly stepped toward the door while Gor opened the bag of Tuco's scales and searched around the shack for something.

Saul side-eyed her and pulled Walter aside. "Long time no see! Can I talk to you outside?"

Gor's head did a full 180, it's honestly surprising her neck didn't snap. "You're not taking him away!"

Saul immediately held his hands out to calm her. "Gor, Gor, I would never take anything from you. Jesse, why don't you stay in here with the kind narcotics enthusiast so I can take Walter outside-"

She growled louder with every word.

"-to talk about how we're going to put together a proper meth lab for you."

Jesse's eyes filled with fear, silently begging the other two to not leave him with the violent junkie.

Saul leaned in close to Jesse and whispered, "I would not try anything with her if I were you. She may be a… a… human-looking thing, but you'd be safer stealing from Tuco than trying to talk sense into her."

Walter pulled Saul out, eying Gor the whole way. 

Finally alone, Saul let his guise of confidence drop, trying to keep as quiet as possible. "I have never been happier to see you two, but I would prefer if we were as far away from that lunatic as possible."

Walter's voice fell to a wrathful grumble. "How many people have you told about us? Does Gus know I'm here?"

Saul raised his finger in defense. "Hold on! Don't be jumping to conclusions now. I told that psycho about you to get her out of the house so I could run. I had no idea you two were actually going to be here."

"Who knows?"

"Nobody knows besides Al Gore in there. Tr-trust me, Walt, I'm a lawyer, not a rat. From what I can tell, Miss Porn of the Rings in there is an outcast or something, but I'm not a hundred percent on it. She's got some friend named Dookie that she talks to all the time." 

Walter scoffed. "Some lawyer you are. You'll defend violent criminals in front of a judge, but you can't keep my name out of her ears?"

"Forgive me for not having my bar card in the freaking forest elf village inhabited by a psycho lady that tied me up and beat me with a stick!"

"She summoned Jesse and I, Saul. She's dangerous. I don't know what we're dealing with, but maybe it'd be best for you to keep your mouth shut about anyone else that might get us killed. Tuco was a dragon and he almost ate us both! If we hadn't killed him, you'd still be tied up getting beaten."

Saul smiled like Walter was telling a joke before his face grew more concerned at Walt's serious expression. "Okay! Okay, I get it! Thank you for getting me out of there. But Tuco… a dragon… Walt, did you start dipping into your own supply? That's the most…"

Walt's downturned head and menacing eyes made Saul think again. 

"Yeah… that tracks with something else I heard." Saul pointed, an idea coming to him. "Oh! That's what I wanted to tell you. Listen, this whole Fring and permanent meth situation is confusing, but I overheard the nutjob in there talking about Hector Salamanca. Apparently he's got an operation of his own. Now, Gor was talking about Hector being a-uh… big unkillable lizard thing, like a dinosaur or something. I-I don't know, I thought it was just her being nuts, but it might actually be real now. Er, regardless, she knows where to find him."

"I'm not hunting Salamancas, Saul, I'm here to cook."

"Nononono! Walt, listen, I'm thinking we can use Miss psychopath in there to lead us to Hector, and we can hijack his operation. I saw that sword Jesse had. If that killed Tuco, it might work on Hector. One quick-" He motioned cutting a throat, "-and we're back in business. I'll do some sleuthing, find out where Gus is working out of, and you can get cooking in the meantime."

"How do I know you won't turn coat to Gus the second you find him?"

"I'm trying to go back to Albuquerque! I'm not sticking my neck out there to get back onto his payroll and stay in this hellhole. That'd be suicide anyway! We kill Hector and set up shop to counter Gus's operation. Easy peasy."

Walter smirked. "No. We're going to use Hector against Fring."

A look of worry grew on Saul's face. "Oh no… I don't like that look. You're gonna do something risky. Walt, this is not the time to risk everything." He leaned in. "If you haven't forgotten, all of our collective asses are on the line! And don't forget, you just killed Tuco, Walt, Hector is gonna rip your head off the second he sees you!"

"Gor is going to take me to Hector, whether you want it or not."

"Walt, this is crazy! You're not thinking rationally right now! This is not the time to-"

Walt loomed over Saul, "I know exactly what I'm doing. Who got you this far, Saul?"

"Fine, you wanna go kill yourself, that's fine by me, but I'm not taking any part in it."

Walter stormed back into the shack just as Gor's frustration was peaking, manically huffing dragon scale smoke. Jesse was backed into the corner by the door, recoiling at the growls of the elf girl.

"Ay Mr. White! I don't know what you did to that meth, but it's got her pissed as hell, dude!"

"Some sobering up will do her well. If she wants some real meth, she's taking us to Hector, now."