Diary Entry #3
Dear Elena,
Few days have passed and I'm sorry Elena if I don't write any updates about my life for the past few days; I've been busy because of enrollment and the School year is near. Anyways, This is the update of my life right now. Everyday my Mom and Dad are always fighting and it makes the house so sad because all the people who live here were covered by the bad energy caused by them. I want to burst my feelings when they fight but Kuya said to me- Nothing will change even if I become the referee of those two couples. Hayst! Elena. I'm sick of my parents. And I don't want Amy to grow up in the house with a Parents who have a hobby of arguing with each other. It will affect her. For now I make a way so that Amy will not hear the quarrel in the kitchen. Everytime Mom and Dad had a quarrel or argument, we would sing in her bedroom with her favourite song Bahay-Kubo. I look like a retarded when we sing like a rockstar to the song of Bahay-Kubo but anything I will do for Amy. And about my brother. Kuya always locked himself in his room. He doesn't want to see his friends. He avoids them every time his friends visit him. But Mom said, We need to understand my Kuya situation. It was hard for him also. He just needs his space. And that is the reason also why Kuya will stop his study. He said that he needs time for his treatment and he doesn't want any distractions while he is doing his treatment. When he said his decision to us my Dad was angry at my Kuyas decision but later on he accepted because he can't do anything that is a request from a cancer patient. He needs to follow it and he is his son. For sake Dad! Don't be strict this time. Hayst! Elena I want to voice out my opinion in this house but my parents are traditional oldies. I need to follow their rules until I go out in this place and live on my own. Wow! It will take so many years Elena. But I patiently wait.
Sincerely yours,
Luna Sandivillan
After I write in my diary I put it in my drawer. I look at my wall clock and its 10 pm.
"I want to watch TV but there's no TV after 8 pm" I sullenly said
Hayst. Those rules. I can't sleep tonight. My Kuya is asleep and so is Amy too. I think I'm the only one in this house who is still awake.
Hmmmm... What should I do?
Listen to the radio until I fall asleep?
"Nah! My mom will angrily go to my room just to shut the radio"
Reading Magazine?
"No, I have no latest issue model of any magazine"
Write?
"My hands hurt"
Study?
"HAHAHAHAHA...NO WAY!"
Trying on all my dresses ?
" And then after that I need to fix and put it again in the cabinet. So much work"
Look at Carlo 's picture?
" NO WAY! THAT'S CREEPY! Beside I don't have any of his picture"
All of my choices was gone
"HAHAHAHA" I desperately laugh.
How can I sleep?
I go to my bed and lie myself to my soft but hard mattress. I feel so stiffened. I want to sleep but I can't.
Hmmmmm... Can I use the telephone to call one of my friends?
"A VERY IMPOSSIBLE IDEA"
My mom will surely scold me for that Idea. Anyways, I will just count sheep and pray that this method will work.
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Argh.. It's not effective. I feel awakened.
Hayst.... I wonder if Carlo is still awake this time? If ever he awakens. What will he be doing right now? Drawing? Study? Basketball? Watching sports?
If ever. Do I have a chance with him or not?
Did he really like the girl in the library?
What if he courted her?
Oh my gosh! This is what will happen if I don't sleep; I'm overthinking for some reason that I don't need to think in the first place. But what If Carlo and that girl have a great time in the past few days? Carlo is a charismatic and good looking guy. He is also sweet and Smart. all girls will fall for him.
Ever since Elementary I admired him and will surely fall in love soon. I hate myself for having a one sided love affair. I know I deserve someone who will love me first. But she took my heart away.
What I'm thinking? I'm overthinking again. this is not good for me gosh! I think it's better if the school days will come so I have the reason to put all my attention to school work. I hate when I'm blushing to him. Oh! Here I am again Overthinking .
"Hayst! Carlo I don't know what to do if you will have a girlfriend and it's not me. It will surely make my heart shattered into pieces. My life will be deep into sorrow and you are the only way to get out to that dark world" I'm being so dramatic because I cant sleep.
This is the reason why I don't want to sleep in the afternoon , especially if it's not school days. It will make it hard for me to sleep at night.
I look at my wall clock again and Its 10:47.
"Wow, I wasted my 47 minutes just thinking about Carlo and my miserable one-sided love affair" I nonchalantly said to myself.
Hayst. It's not time to think about my Lovelife. I have real problems that need my whole attention.
After a few minutes I yawn. The greatest yawn that I ever made. And I feel my eyes heavily that need to sleep.
Did I pray?
I immediately open my eyes from the thought of praying.
"oh my gosh!"
I slap my forehead for my stupidity. I have time for Carlos but not for the Creator of the world? Oh wow Luna your 6 years of Catholic school was all wasted.