The flowing of time

The early years are not really that interesting. I was a baby. I ate, I tried to train, I failed, I searched for my mana-heart. I accompanied hilda until I fell asleep after she came home from the academy.

She came home late everyday, because she used her downtime to study with Jasmine, or whatever 14 year old girls do when they are alone. She told me about the classes and the knowledge they were taught, only the basic stuff but it was enough.

I think it was at that time that Hilda realized that I wasn't a normal kid. At the latest she found out after I showed her my wings.

Around the time where my birthday should be, a little earlier than 12 months after my awakening, I found them in my tireless search for my mana-heart. Hilda had told me about the mana-heart, she only told me the basics because she herself hadn't found her mana-heart yet.

Having an absolute affinity doesn't make you a genius, it only indicates your potential. Geniuses will be geniuses no matter their affinity.

Always remember: Exceptions prove the rules. Nothing is impossible as long as you can make it possible. Don't be narrow minded, separate the truth from the rumor.

Back to the wings.

On that fateful day, I found something odd on my back. I don't have an eidetic memory, but I still remember the lessons about the human body in biology. How it is constructed, etc.

While I concentrated on that point, and tried to study it, two beautiful wings appeared on my back. While the outside of those wings was black, the inside was a beautiful silver color. Every wing had a majestic golden sun on the inside, they radiated intense light in every direction. It was breathtaking.

The knowledge of how to use them came naturally, it was as if the knowledge had only been misplaced. I also instinctively knew how to prevent the radiation of light.

I was born to conquer the skies, and instantly had my first test ride. Unfortunately, Just because I have wings doesn't make them powerful and persistent enough to carry me endlessly through the sky. The wings were exhausted before I reached halfway through the room. I fell from the sky with the elegance of a brick wall.

If the Memory dream visions I got from Jeremy taught me one thing, then that if someone or something beats you to the ground you need to stand up and try again until you are the one that is triumphant.

It was also obvious that I needed to hide the fact that I have them, because normal humans don't have them.

The scenario that would have happened most likely, is that they would have killed me and used my mounted Head as decoration at the main gate.

Hilda was totally blown away after I showed her. She basically told me the same thing That I had decided to do on my own. Hide them and only show those I trust with my life.

She also complimented their beauty, of course she did my wings are fucking awesome. Before Hilda was assured that no one would ever notice she made me summon and unsummon the wings while inspecting my back. In the end she was assured that only those I wanted to know would know.

—

Two years raced by, my body aged and grew stronger. I was able to do the easiest and most basic forms of Jeremys training now. It was fucking painful. but the dreams were painful as well so I was warned beforehand.

If Rafal wasn't around I even had fun. Hilda was there almost everyday. Jasmine visited often and I was able to forge bonds with a few children at the orphanage.

Over time the dreams had progressed from body exercises to weapon training and hunting. Sword, Shield, Bow, and Scythe were the main weapons Jeremy used. The fighting style that was the easiest to learn was the dual wielding of Scythes. This Fighting style was tailor made for large battlefields where the goal was to reap one life after another in quick succession.

Obviously I was unable to train my body in it yet. But I found the time to comprehend the exercises and the fighting styles without being able to train their movements.

You might ast when I got the time for that in between my fanatic search of my man-heart and the serious effort to grind my body.

I found my mana-heart. After around two years of fanatic search I found it.

I actually found 2 mana-hearts, I am not talking about focus points, I have a few of them too but about mana-hearts in the truest sense. I had two of them. Additionally my wings, my lungs, my heart and my third leg were focus points that gathered and stored mana for me. 2 Mana-hearts and 4 focus points.

I will not disclose the location of them, the chance that someone might get his hands on this manuscript while I am still alive is present. No matter how unlikely it is for something like this to happen I can not risk it.

I will simply call them Sun and Moon. you will understand why. At the latest after you know my affinities. It is fascinating how much power a mana-heart can store.

The first mana-heart I found was the Sun. It was pulsating with power, which was the reason I found it and the reason most mages find their own mana-heart. I found the Moon by following the pulse of my mana. The Moon absorbed the pulse and sent his own pulse back to the Sun.

I called that the Cycle, it reminds me of the cycle of day and night. One Cycle took one hour. The pulse starts at the Sun, travels to the moon and back to the Sun.

I haven't told Hilda this information. I have no intention of scaring her, and now it is too late. There are species with two mana-hearts, but beside divine beasts only demons of noble bloodline have two mana-hearts. Ever since I learned that in the academy I was glad that I kept it a secret.

You might ask me why I write it down here if it is such a fragile secret. Because I do not expect someone to read this while i am still alive and i want to tell the truth about myself.

So even if Hilda will read this one day after I passed away she will understand.

—

My experiments with my mana-hearts soon produced my first major breakthrough. I found out that I am one of a kind reckless idiot. I slowly learned how to control the mana inside my body, in a very very very crude way. In my haste I tried to speed up the cycle.

I won't make this mistake again. The excruciating pain that this experiment caused me was enough. If you ever felt like the insides of your body were melting you can relate to it.

The part from the Sun to the moon felt like liquified fire was running through my mana routes, the second of relief I felt after the pulse reached the Moon was haunting. The pulse that traveled from the Moon back to the Sun felt like it was liquid nitrogen instead of mana. This hour was the worst I had in my life. Until now nothing came close to it. The worst part was that the subsequent cycles were horrible as well. It took 6 hours for the circle to balance itself again and become painless.

After that I changed my approach. I just feed the Sun more mana than what it attracted on its own. It worked a lot better and was endless times less painful.

By feeding the Sun Mana the cycle got stronger, which made the mana-hearts stronger which allowed the cycle to transport more mana which strengthened the mana routes.

This also caused pain but in comparison to the first time it was nothing. I grew more cautious, but I never stopped. I measured the amount of mana I fed to the sun by the pain the cycle inflicted onto me.

While my body was experiencing pain that made it stronger my mind analyzed the dream visions I got from Jeremy and the mana of this world.

Despite the mistakes, the tenacity, the grit, the persistence or my determination nothing enabled me to cast the simplest of spells. I wasn't able to invoke a wisp of fire, no spark of lightning, no water drop, no gust of wind, nothing worked.

I concluded that my training was not hard enough so I continued my thoughtful act of self tor-*chough*, I mean body tempering. I practiced from dusk till dawn and from dawn till dusk. I started to exercise my body to it's very brink running dangerous and painful amounts of mana through the cycle while doing a workout that is aiming at adults.

In hindsight I do not recommend this method of training to anyone. It made me stronger, but the price was high. The gains are undeniable. No pain no gain. Constant pain is constant gain.

By that time I was 4 Years old and nearing my 5th birthday. My strength had reached the average of a 3rd year knight class student. The average knight class student in the 3rd year is 16 years old and has strength above an average adult commoner.

The students of the knight class don't do much besides training their physical bodies. Yes I lacked the skill that they have with weapons but I am after all just 4 years old.

I was still a little child, but these limitations only applied in the height, weight and reach of my body. My mind was that of a young adult.

I also learned to enhance my strength with the help of my mana. I had become a monster. I had become a freaking monster that would give every average opponent a run For his money.

You might ask why I am even talking about something like that here, it is important. Really important. It all started with Hilda's 18th birthday. The day she officially reached adulthood.