CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO; My First Burial

I woke up in the middle of the night from a night mare.I was still panting when My dad walked into the room with a torch light in his hand. I saw how my Sister were sleeping peacefully and soundly beside me and I immediately wished I was one of them.

"What is it? are you hungry? there's bread in the fridge."My Dad started.

"Okay, I can't eat. I had a bad dream. "

" about Chibuikem. "

" oh! okay. " He sighed and walked out of the room.

He came back with a half loaf of bread in his right hand. He beckoned on me to come out of the bed . I did and he held my hand and directed me to the parlour. I sat down on one of the chairs and he sat beside me.

He sprayed butter on the bread for me and watched me eat. He looked at me strangely and sadly.

"Winner, your eyes are swollen. Please don't cry again.. okay? "

I nodded and in the process of nodding, tears welled up in my eyes and I quickly avoided my dad's eye contact.

" what is it again.. stop crying now... "

After some minutes, I stopped crying and resumed my eating. The bread and butter tasted like chaff in my mouth.

"Did Chibuikem give you anything to eat?" My dad asked after a long silence.

I looked up at him startled and asked" where? in the dream? "

" Hm.. yes in reality and the dream too. "

" In the dream, no and in reality.. he used to help me. buy... food... because I didn't like the crowd when I was in JSS 1.. " I started crying again.

My dad didn't pet me. this time, he just stared at me thoughtfully and asked"Are you sure?. try and remember, did he give you anything to eat, or drink?"

"No.. no.. I said no so stop asking." I answered angrily.

"I'm not happy about this daddy.. it's my fault... I should have told you to tell Uncle Emeka that his Son.. had joined the Cult.."

"Please stop blaming you self.." He cleaned my face and said something striking" There was no need telling his dad because He knew. "

" What!? "

" Yes my dear.. please bring your voice down, don't wake your mum up. "

I nodded in agreement and continued my question" How are you... are you sure.. "

" Yes.. I'm sure. So, eat your bread and go to sleep. "

" But. but.. he didn't stop him, he didn't do anything, why? "

" I don't.. look, Winner life is not all it seems to you.. the people you see physically isn't who they are. " He said after shaking his head for a long time and sighing.

" huh?! "

" Yes. are you okay? " My dad asked after I managed to finish two slices of bread. I nodded and he tied up the remainder.

I went to bed but I found it really difficult to fall asleep. I kept thinking and thinking and thinking.

I remembered how the blood was pouring out of Chibuikem's bleeding mouth and stomach, how his mum slapped me with her blood stained hands and jumped into the ambulance with him. The prayers we did.

The way it was announced to us, how my mum put my dad's phone on speaker despite his protests . "He is dead ooo.. hey..." We heard Chibuikem's mum from. the other end-the hospital.

The doctor said he had a deep and deadly wound in his liver.

I started crying again. this time there was nobody to stop my tears from flowing.

I cried and cried and cried until I was tearless. I wondered what Asake would be doing right now. She would probably be sleeping now. That witch!

My cousin died because of her. He loved her! She can't be sleeping now!

Chibuikem's burial was the very first burial that I attended and when I told this to my dad, to make me feel better he said "Well, I can assure you that this won't be the last. " I felt so sad when he said this. I wanted an answer, I wanted to know why people had to. die even though the were made to.

I watched as my mother, auntie and relatives sang and cried when they ceremony began. The pictures of him that were pasted around the hall haunted me. I saw how happy he looked in the pictures. He looked so hopeful and happy, he never knew a day like this would come, a day when the whole family would gather to say good bye to him. Forever.

I remembered when we were little, during our visits to his house, when Happiness and Peace weren't born, I'd be in his house for hours with my mum and dad discussing with his mum and dad. I didn't care whet they discussed about all I cared about was to spend time with my cousins. I was closer to Chibuikem the most among his brothers. Not because he was younger, but because I loved him. I just loved him and was very fond of him.

I remember how he used to say he'll become the beat scientist and build a house in the sun despite his brothers persecution.

"Leave me alone, I'll build my house in the sun and none of you would come except Winner my baby cousin. " He'll say boldly.

I chuckled as I remembered the first day He came to our house, they had just relocated from the mainland to the island.

Our neighbors dog chased him around the compound and he ran fearfully taking his slippers and t-shirt off I laughed so hard that I fell to the ground.

Would I ever get over him? Would I eventually stop missing him? Chibuikem the boy who taught me how to light a match stick. He told me that even if the fire burnt me, I won't die, it would only make me stronger.

The ceremony was still ongoing. Chibuikem's Dad was called out to say something about his son. The moment he came out, I noticed how scared and uncomfortable he looked.

"Good day everyone .. thank you for coming." He Started.

"My son Chibuikem was a very smart boy-"

"Yes! that's why you killed him now... tell them Emeka, you murdered my son... ah! I can't remain with you. We have to get divorced." Chibuikem's mum started. She was already shouting and wailing before her two sons-Chibuikem's elder Brother's held her and took her out of the hall.

I turned to my dad and he immediately looked away.

"Um.. daddy what is she saying please?"

"Take read this." He handed me Chibuikem's songs of service book and I couldn't help but flip through it and cry.

I cried silently as I stared at the pictures of the young boy who wanted to be an astronaut -a sun astronaut he called himself.

"Hey Winner." I heard someone call me and when I looked , I was so surprised to see Asake. She was dressed in all black as the rest of us. I wasn't sure she was the one until she took her shades of. Her swollen eyes portrayed the fact that she had been crying since. I was also surprised to see her because School had closed for the long holiday. It was the last day of School that Chibuikem was involved in a serious cultist fight.

"So, you cam how?"

"What do you mean how? I'm not a baby."

When the scarf fell off her head, I realized the true meaning of uniformity. I knew that when they said girls should cut their hair to learn, they meant so this so yat when we see you outside, we know it's you.

"I remember the day my parents died." Asake began.

"What? your parents are dead?"

"Yes.... I felt like the whole world was on my neck. The loneliness I felt was so strong and tangible..... I felt like

dieing."

She held my right hand and started crying.

"Why? why me? why can't I love someone in peace? Why do I always have to loose someone I love. I made up my mind not to love anyone until I met Chibuikem... he .. he just understood me."

" You know, I just kept imagining what would happen if he just jumps out of that coffin and say "hey everyone I'm alive.. April. foooool...."

We both laughed when she said that. I suddenly remembered how Chibuikem took that so called "April fool" so seriously.

It got him into trouble so many times but he never stopped. So many times he'd pretend d to be dead and shout "April fool... I'm not dead " as a little boy.

I hate death. So Mary was right after all. I could loose someone so dear to me as a result of cultism.

We finally ended the session and everyone went to their hoses with their refreshments. I didn't eat anything, My mum had to force me to eat meat pie. She even bought jolloff rice for me. These were things that I'd normally crave for but now they are here but the carving and ginger isn't there.

That night, as usual, I had a night mare.

When I woke up I started crying again. My dad was there as usual. He fed me and tried to get me back to sleep but I couldn't. I wanted an answer.

"Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"How did Uncle Emeka kill -"

"Sh sh shh.. go and sleep -"

"No. please I can't, I need an answer, why did my Uncle kill -"

"He gave him something."

"Like? poison? in the hospital?"

"No." He sighed before he continued.

"See, your uncle still believes in juju.. when Chibuikem went to him for solution against mistreatment in school, he gave him some... I warned him but he didn't listen. He said he wanted him to be powerful and that the Yourba boys that take jazz aren't older than him."

"Ah! So Uncle Emeka knew Chibuikem was a cultist? "

" No. He made him a cultist all in the name of protection. "

I stared crying again.

" But.. so.. I .... Uncle.. he killed him. "

" Yes. "

" He is .. he's a wicked man! "

" I know. now keep quiet please don't wake your sisters and your mother up. Now, go and sleep. "

" okay. "

" Don't tell anybody. Not even anyone in School, if not, he might be arrested. "

I didn't have enough information yet. I slept knowing that I wouldn't get all that night. I'll get the rest tomorrow.