Knowing

Geo sat frozen to his seat with that unreadable expression on his face. The silence that followed gave me hope that he was debating on telling me the truth, but after a while I had to try tipping it in my favor.

"I want to know what I may be agreeing to before I make a decision," I say softly. "I will not be some toy or weapon used without my consent."

Geo winced a little. "We do not think of you as a toy or weapon."

I shook my head slowly. "Maybe you don't, but I am not being considered an equal capable of making an educated decision," I said firmly. "I chose science because facts are what lead us to decisions. I knew I could never be in the military acting on orders without knowing the full picture. I do not intend to start now."

Geo could see the seriousness in my eyes and sighed in defeat. "Yes, I know what she asked you." He hesitated for a moment and closed his eyes. "After the trial was over I could not believe she and the rest of the council let Albin be your supervisor. It is true that it makes the most sense with you terraforming Ilterra. He has headed that project for quite some time, but I still was surprised to see Thana let go of you so easily.

"She has been wary of him and his intentions ever since she rejected his proposal all those years ago." The thought of Albin and Thana made my eyes grow big, but I kept quite.

"It was not until a few nights ago that Thana told me what happened in that trial chamber. Albin was obviously eager to have you. The knowledge you possess, the secrets you may be able to unlock, and him being able to control it first hand is a big temptation for him. He is a powerful man with a lot of connections. Quite a few council members rely on his support and did not hesitate to support his nomination as your supervisor. The others were not as convinced that it was a good idea and argued for Councilwoman Nera. Thana made a good show of negotiating a fair deal between the two, but she wanted you to go with Albin from the beginning. She hoped one way or another, consciously or not, you would bring back information of Albin's plans."

I could feel my jaw clench with anger knowing that this had been her plan all along, but what I heard next made my heart stop. "That is also why she assigned me to monitor your health. Yes, it had to do with my skill and my waking you, but it also had to do with accessibility. Having you here with me made it easier for Thana to talk to you. She had hoped that by spending time with me a growing friendship would make you more willing to share the secrets you discover." Geo looked down guiltily before looking back at me.

I took a moment to soak in what he said. There was a part of me that wanted to ignore it and pretend this conversation never happened, but I knew that wasn't possible. I was afraid that all of this, all of my experiences, conversations and feelings, were just some elaborate lie - that I was truly alone in this universe. "Is that what this has been the entire time?" I finally asked.

"What?" Geo asked in surprise.

"I heard you all talking several nights ago. Thana told you to do whatever it takes to keep me allied to you. Is that why you have treated me the way that you do? Why you have helped me?" My voice rose with anger as I stared at him accusingly.

"Of course not!" Geo shouted. "I told you, I did not know of Thana's intentions until a few days ago. I was there before Thana even knew you were alive. Why would I wake you? Why would I have spent so much of my time and energy trying to get you well?"

My eyes narrowed. "I have asked those questions myself! You refused to answer them, but even if you tried to now I doubt I would believe you."

Geo let out an small exasperated laugh as he shook his head in disbelief. "I have never faked any of our interactions, Flora."

I could feel my eyes well up with unwanted tears. He sounded sincere, but I knew that is what I wanted to hear. I don't know what to believe anymore. "Get out," I said flatly as I blinked the tears away. Geo looked like he was about to protest but I cut him off. "I need to be alone right now. Please, get out."

After a moment he stiffly rose from his seat and walked to the door. I heard him stop at the doorway before closing it gently, not with the slam I was expecting. I looked towards the door to make sure I was alone before allowing a tear to fall, and I definitely felt alone. I gave myself a minute for self pity and took a deep breath. What a day it did turn out to be, but tomorrow will come before I know it. I can only hope it will be better.