221: Pretending.....

"You are home early, I was planning to come to get you," said Vin as ye flipped through every channel on the TV.

He has never settled on one channel. It's either he watches a hundred channels all at once and wouldn't allow you to have a sneak peek at what you want.

He hates it when I flip through the Korean drama. Those are my things, the happy ever after and the romance scene, but he doesn't understand that

I remembered what my dad said, I didn't want to act as if something was off. All I had to do was pretend that everything was okay, do to him as I have never done before.

"I respected your order, I don't want to argue with you anymore baby," I told him as I stood by the bottom of the stairs. I hated the way the word baby came out of my mouth, it didn't fit him, I couldn't have just shouted his name.

Flashing my fake smile that didn't reach my eyes. All he needed to see was me being caring for him and someone who can obey all he wants. 

"I am heading upstairs," I told him. 

Arriving in my room, I settled down, still thinking of what happened today. I wanted to scream but no, so I picked up my pillow and buried myself in it, crying myself till tears couldn't drain from my cheeks anymore. 

I picked the same novel I saw the picture inside and decided to read it, I was not reading but what I was doing was looking at my dad's picture. 

I needed to be cautious with the picture, it might raise suspicion. 

I just admired the only person that might help me. He is far away though. 

"I love you, Dad, I hope after this everything is going to be okay. Maybe we will have a second chance to stand together and know each other again." 

Those were my thoughts, I want to know my dad again. I couldn't believe all these years, my life was a scam. My mom also hurt my dad, suppressing his memories and taking away everything that he had. 

I didn't get to ask my father why my mother hated me so much, why wouldn't she love me like any other child of hers. Wanted to kill me, leaving me alone every time I shouted and screamed my lungs out. 

I don't regret it, I don't know. Maybe previously I regretted being born in this family but right now, I think I am okay with everything. It will be good if I focus on the mission and later reunite with my father fully. That's what I wanted. I want us to make up for the time that we had lost and get to know each other well.

I heard the door to my room click and quickly hid the book that I was reading and pretended to be sleeping.

I didn't need to turn around and look at him, I knew it was him. No one else came in here at this time.

"Madam, I have brought some water for you," 

It was not him after all, I thought that I would have to face him and pretend to be the good wife. Pretending to be happy is not easy, it's tiresome. 

I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and sat down to look at her.

Why is she always gentle and respectful towards me? Of all the house helps, I think she is the most caring and always wants to make sure that I am doing okay.

There is this side of me that has never bothered to ask her name, but I guess, I am going to do that today, even if I don't trust her, it's good to form friends, she might help with some things that I want. As well if she is a mother, she can take me through various steps of being a good wife.

"Hello, I am sorry, I know I haven't bothered to ask for your name, hope you don't mind telling me," I asked her.

She smiled and placed the tray on the bedside. She looked shy, well people are when they meet their bosses who want to know stuff about them.

"I am Mirah," she said slowly.

'Mirah?' I bet there are some names out here that I need to learn about.

"You can call me Daniella, you don't need to bother yourself with Madam every time," I told her. 

That would have been Davids, whenever someone wanted to refer her using Sir or Mr since they all thought that she was a man. She would always humble herself and ask them to call her by her name. Maybe this might be the time I start being the humble girl she was.

"Mada.... Sorry, Daniella, I can't use that outside, maybe when we are just together. Hope you are okay with that," she said.

I nodded, she is correct. It will raise suspicion if she calls me by name in front of my family members. They will think she is closer to me than anyone else and use her against me. Though most workers here are used as spies.

"How is married life?" She asked smiling. 

Did I need to ask her just one question and she would be friendly? 

"It's good, I am taking it slow. One day at a time," I said to her. I can't risk explaining to her how I feel about this whole thing. It's sick not marrying the love of your life and getting stuck by this asshole over here. I couldn't tell her that.

"I wish I was married but sadly, I couldn't marry the guy I loved, he was a Muslim and it was hard to ask him to marry me. He said his parents will get mad because of that so we parted ways," she said and I could feel the sad tone in her words.

Here I was thinking that I have a sad story, but at least on her side, it didn't end like my tragic Romeo and Juliet, where I had to accuse someone and stain her name up. They left on a mutual understanding.

Look at mine, mine is so stupid and so unacceptable at all. 

"Was there no other option to make things better?" I asked. 

I wanted to know how their love story ended up, I hated skeletons, so I was going to inquire more but the answer I got, told me that there was no more tea to the story.

"Daniella, if someone is meant to be with you, even if it's on Mars or where they will always come back to you," she said.

I raised my eyebrows and looked at her, is she telling me to believe in forever after and destiny? I can't believe in that shit.

Right now my life is hanging on a thread, anything small and everything will come crumbling down, destroying those who are and those who are not in it.

"That's so stupid, I don't believe in that. Are you believing that your boyfriend is your future husband?" I asked.

She stood and faced the window, "he got married and that's is a past tense, I I'm not concerned with that."

Maybe I shouldn't have asked that story. I should have just shit up and finished on something else.

"But for you, if you feel like you can still fight for what you love, go on and do it. If you are not happy here, it's okay to seek happiness somewhere else, don't kill yourself pleasing people here," she added.

"I don't know what you are talking about," I said and swallowed the water in the glass in front of me.

"Everyone knows that you had a lover, the girl you loved and you wanted everything with her. Nothing goes unheard in these walls," she said.

So, everyone knows that I once loved Davids? Here I thought our love life was all a secret thing, not a societal thing. Turns out it was on display and everyone wanted a piece of it. To know how it was going on, what was happening.

"Maybe you should go now, I am not thirsty anymore." That's was a lie, I just didn't want anyone reminding me something about Davids. Though a part of me wanted someone who will tell me that things are going to be okay, she is talking but who knows? She might aaswell be the chief of spies, waiting to hear my mouth and report me.

"I was just saying my opinion, madam, ease don't be angry at me, I don't want to be your enemy, I am just concerned that you are killing your dream, your smile. Most people here have noticed it, they don't see you happy again, so once again I am sorry."

I didn't want to admit that she was right, it's toxic in here and probably they are correct, I need to get out. The only way I can get out is by helping Davids first. That is the first thing.