Chapter Eight

After checking my apartment from all sides and reading the eviction letter again, I allow myself to sink into my thoughts. What do I do now? I feel depressed, like before and that scares me. Before the bad thoughts come to invade my head I take action on the matter and with the little money I have raised I leave the house and go to the first hotel I find, I ask about the price for a few nights and it is too much money. I leave the hotel again and continue walking as evening falls behind me. Just when I thought that everything was starting to get better, it turns out quite the opposite, I had forgotten about some pending accounts that I had with a certain real estate agency and now here I was, debating whether or not it was good to stay in the motel that was a few blocks from where I was.

I had no choice, I walk the blocks to the motel and ask for a few nights, I have enough money to pay for a full week and without further ado I go to my new room, it is definitely not the best place to stay, there are dirty corridors and from some doors I hear cries of pleasure, I feel self-conscious and I walk faster to number 107, I enter my new home tired after walking a whole afternoon.

The room consists of a small bed, a dresser and a small table to eat, there is a bathroom to the left that has no door, just a folding curtain and I let out a sigh. I sit on the bed holding my head with my hands, I try to calm myself down, get the positive side out of all this but I can't find it, I have no one who can take me in, no one who can help me, there is only me, and that is killing me . Without realizing it, I fall exhausted on one of the pillows and close my eyes for a few seconds, I fall asleep in a matter of seconds and the next day I wake up with some sexual sounds coming from the next room, I cover my ears with my fingers but nothing works until the couple finishes doing their thing, I can doze for a few more minutes but I know I have to get up.

I take the keys and go back to my other apartment, there I get some clothes and take a bath, I decide to clear my mind while the water falls through my body and think what the hell to do, meanwhile I will try to raise money to buy a bed but I know they cost a lot money. Plus, I should also pay the month's rent for this apartment, and with all the money I spent on the motel that seemed unlikely. I refuse to sit idly by and all day Sunday I go from bank to bank asking for some credit, but every door closes in my face due to my criminal record and my constant debts. Night falls while I still do not get to the motel, I must distribute my money as best I can to survive, I can barely buy a little chocolate for dinner because I have no more money, I am lost, totally lost.

The next day I get up to go to the mansion, I go to my apartment to bathe and dress, I take the bus lost in my thoughts, I am almost certain that I will not be able to pay all the debts. I walk to the mansion and enter the main room still lost in my thoughts. Jeanne Nizzari talking to two different people and she greets me with a nod. I decide to wait for him to finish his conversation and then he approaches me with a smile from ear to ear.

-Good morning Emma, are you okay? - He asks after forcing a smile.

"Yes ma'am, I'm tired."

"Okay, I'll update you," she gestures for me to follow her and I do, we walk to her office and there she leans on her desk while I look at her.

-In a few days it will be Marie's birthday, I am organizing a party and I have asked certain decorators to take care of it, also an organizer of children's parties and I need you to keep Marie away during these days, I want it to be a surprise to her ...

I just nod and Jeanne smiles at me.

-I also wanted to tell you that you are invited to my little girl's party, she has become attached to you in this time and you would be very happy if you came. Do you accept? Sure, if it's not inconvenient for you ...

-It is not Mrs. Jeanne, of course I will come -I say sure and she gets up nodding.

-I must continue with the preparations, please do not let Marie go down to the first floor for any reason, tell her that I am with my company assistants in something very important please ...

I nod and Jeanne stares at me like she wants to ask a question, but doesn't and goes downstairs as I go to Marie's room. We spend the whole morning playing in her room and she only comes downstairs to prepare her breakfast and lunch, sometimes I see Jeanne walking from one side of the mansion to the other talking to different people and only sometimes her gaze falls on me, but when she does It is intense and I must stop looking at it for so long.

When the day ends, Jeanne goes up to Marie's room, tired but with a smile on her face, we spend time with her until I have to go and Jeanne leaves me personally at the door of the mansion.

-Thanks for keeping Marie distracted, you are one of the best people I have ever met Emma, I am lucky that you are my little girl's babysitter ...

I am ashamed of his words and I end up blushing, Jeanne laughs at my expression and to my surprise she takes one of my hands and watches me attentively.

-Today I have seen you sad Emma, I know that I am your boss but you can tell me anything, you can trust me ...

I stay silent feeling her hand squeeze mine and for a second I consider telling her everything, my debts, my new home, the money I owe ... but I don't, I don't want her to see just a lost and disorganized girl. I shake my head and thank him by releasing his grip. I walk to my room at the motel and fall asleep instantly. During the week it is the same routine, I go from the motel to the mansion and there I take care by all means that Marie is distracted and does not go downstairs. I am exhausted and my week of money is ending, the following Monday I will no longer know what to do, I have no money, I will not even have a room or less food ...

-Emma? -I hear Jeanne's voice calling me and I turn around, she's at the door of Marie's room, I don't know how long she's been calling me.

-Excuse me-i say immediately-What do you need ma'am?

-Follow me please-we go down to the first floor and there I notice how a huge birthday cake is arriving carried by three men.

-There will be many guests and some family members, I think that with that cake it is enough for everyone ... by the way, the birthday is this Saturday at three, I hope you come Emma ...- she says looking at me and I try to smile at her.

"I'll try," I say sincerely and Jeanne raises her eyebrow. "I've been busy with some things Mrs. Jeanne, but I'll make the effort," I say nodding and she ends up accepting.

The next day other preparations begin to arrive and Marie insists on going downstairs to find out what is happening on the first floor, but I do my best to distract her and make her forget all the moving downstairs, Jeanne seems busy when I go down for Marie's lunch, She goes around arranging some decorations and food, I'm pretty sure she's stressed. When her eyes meet mine I give her a supportive smile and she stares at me for long seconds until she finally smiles back at me, wanting to get closer but is invaded by two sets and I return to the task of preparing the food.

Finally Saturday arrives and I debate whether to go or not, I go back to my apartment to look for a gift that I can give Marie but I have nothing for her, I am ashamed to arrive empty-handed and I decide better not to go, I will not be able to Jeanne's look if she realizes my situation, the money is eating me ... It's after three in the afternoon and I'm still in the apartment, I can sit on the floor and write some plans about what to do to continue living in the motel for a week, but I can't pay anything else, I'm interrupted by knocks on my door and I get up to see who it is.

-Good afternoon. Are you Emma? -Asks a man dressed elegantly and I nod-I have come for you to take you to the birthday of Miss Marie, my boss Mrs. Nizzari has expressly asked to come for you and accompany me.

I am perplexed standing there in front of that man. Had Jeanne really sent me a driver to go? I finish by agreeing after more words of insistence on the part of the man and I ask him to wait for me downstairs while I get dressed. I go around almost the entire closet looking for something to wear, I find a red dress that I had worn years before for a similar occasion, it is simple and reaches mid-thighs, it sticks to my hips and body like a glove. When I look in the mirror I look like another, I let my hair down and I apply more makeup than usual, I only have one pair of shoes but I wear them anyway, I see myself over and over again, sometimes I forget that my waist is molded and that my hips enhance my body, when I see the time it is already four in the afternoon and I run down the stairs. The man is waiting for me leaning on a car that is clearly too expensive and he opens the door for me, I thank him and we leave for the mansion.

I have nothing for Marie and on the way I'm embarrassed, clearly everyone will give her expensive gifts and I ... I ask the driver to stop at a candy store and I just walk in, I only have a few dollars left to survive and I spend it in a small box of sweets, I ask to be wrapped and a small gift remains but I hope it is enough. I go back to the car and we continue the road until finally at the end of the street I see the great mansion, when I go downstairs I thank the man again and I enter observing how much of the mansion is decorated, there are golden details that blend into the walls white and large balloons that span the entrance. I sigh before entering and when I do I see a lot of people talking and having drinks, there are children running everywhere and I feel strange being watched by people I do not know.

I take a few steps to the main room and absolutely everything is decorated and full of food, I see some faces and I know they are important people because I recognize some of them from television, I stand there not knowing what to do until I spot Jeanne talking to two women to a corner of the room, she smiles and I observe her from head to toe, she wears a flowered dress that reaches her knees and her hair falls in waves down her back, in short, she is one of the most beautiful women I have seen in my life . Her eyes deviate and meet mine, she stays absorbed looking at me and I do too, her face changes completely and I move uncomfortable, she looks at me boldly and without any shame from head to toe, from here I can notice seems lost in me. I dedicate a smile ashamed of her gaze but she only has eyes for me, all of me. The people I was talking to notice her deflection and follow her gaze to me, only then does Jeanne Nizzari seem to wake up and I notice how she looks embarrassed, she averted my look when Marie runs past me and I stop her to hug her and say happy birthday.

-Thanks Emma! I am happy that you come! There is a giant cake! - He says hugging me- I want you to meet all my friends, come and ...

-Marie-her voice sounds right behind my ear and I lose my stillness-leave Emma alone, go and play with your friends-Marie rolls her eyes but nods and waves her hand goodbye. It is not necessary for me to turn around because Jeanne passes by me so attached that I feel almost her whole body touching me, not only that, she is at zero distance from my body and she looks away to my lips without any shame.

-Thank you for coming Emma- she says still looking at me and I smiled embarrassed.

-After he sent me his chauffeur, I couldn't refuse ..- Jeanne laughs and returns to my eyes.

-I want to introduce you to some people. You come? -She holds out his hand and I accept it, he guides me still with his hand on mine to the other end of the room and there he introduces me to several men and women from the business industry, they ask me what it feels like to be the nanny of the niece the most famous businesswoman in the country and I can only answer you honestly, Jeanne is an excellent person and without a doubt one of the best bosses I have ever had. While they have a conversation in which I barely pay attention my stomach growls and I apologize as I walk to the first table of food I find, I have barely had a bite this week and I eat everything I have not been able to in all these days, it may even be the last time I eat ...

-Why are you running away? -Jeanne speaks to my ear again and I shudder.

-I just came to eat ma'am ...- I turn around and she is back at zero distance from me.

-I still need people to introduce you to Emma, you can eat whatever you want later ...

I end up agreeing and for the next hour I meet more people than I can remember, Jeanne doesn't leave me for a second, she's with me all the time and sometimes she rests her hands on my waist and laughs at some comments from the others people, I know their touches mean something but I don't want to know what, sometimes I feel their breath on my neck and when I see their eyes they don't leave mine. In all this time Jeanne has had five glasses of wine in a row and she doesn't stop grabbing when she can another one, I start to worry but I don't have time because it's time to sing happy birthday and everyone gathers in the main room, Marie is sitting with a huge smile next to Jeanne and both blow the candles after applause and photographs, since then Jeanne takes care of other things and I go to a corner to go unnoticed, I still have not recovered from her closeness and after another hour I decide Leaving, in the end, I only talked to the people that Jeanne introduced me to, but I definitely don't fit in here. I head to the door of the mansion and decide to say goodbye to Marie who plays with her friends.

"Have fun Marie, I hope you enjoyed your birthday," I say hugging him.

-I enjoy it, thanks for coming Emma ..

-Where do you think you are going? -Jeanne watches me with folded arms as she puts Marie aside.

-I must go ma'am -I say taking a step back- it has been a beautiful party ..

-Stay please ...- he insists and approaches me- the final dinner is still missing and I know Marie wants you to be here, don't leave yet Emma ...- her voice hypnotizes me but her sudden touch on my arm make me even more nervous. I'm mute but I nod and Jeanne apologizes saying that she still has to organize the last thing, I decide to sit on one of the sofas while I order a drink and in the distance I see Jeanne having the tenth glass of wine of the day, I am worried about her sudden need to drink and I see how sometimes his balance deviates, it is the least but I can tell.

They serve dinner and everyone sits down to eat at the big table, I am between two people that I hardly know and I just eat while everyone talks, Jeanne's look never leaves me and I feel ashamed, I know that several people have noticed how Jeanne Nizzari does not stop looking at me and the worst thing is that she continues to do so. After a few hours most of the guests have left and I decide to leave once and for all. But I hear screams of surprise from the living room and I run to see what happens, Jeanne is on the floor and has fallen, they tell me, I worry too much and I sit by her side watching her begin to regain consciousness, as a mutual agreement between the The remaining guests begin to leave so that their hostess can rest, I help Jeanne to take a seat on one of the sofas and as she begins to wake up I put Marie on her bed because she can no longer bear the sleep and fatigue, I let her sleep peacefully and come back to the living room while one of the last guests says goodbye.

I sit on one side of the sofa and I notice that Jeanne is awake and looks at me confused, I explain her faint and cover her face with her hands.

-I've ruined everything ...- she says lost and I deny it.

-No ma'am, it has been an incredible party, you have just been tired and that is why you fainted ...

-You are a sun Emma -she says, she observes, getting up carefully- I think I have overdone some drinks ...

-Yes-I nod and she smiles at me, I still notice how she is still under the influence of alcohol because she goes for a glass of water and staggers.

-It's better if you go to bed ma'am, if you want I can help you up ...

-It would be a great favor darling ...- I recover as I can from his words and help him up, he attaches his arms to my waist, while we go up the stairs and he does not stop hugging me until we get to his room, Jeanne does a bad movement because when I least expect them I'm lying on her bed with her on me.

-Sorry ... I didn't move one of my feet ...- she says and I start to shake when I feel his whole body on me, especially on my hips. Jeanne seems to want to distance herself but she stands still in her place watching me, her hair falls next to me and the distance between her face from mine is only a few centimeters. We are silent, his eyes roam my face and he bites his lower lip, while I can only stay static waiting to be released from his eyes.

-I know I shouldn't, he whispers, but I can't stay away from you ...

I open my eyes in surprise and Jeanne leans over to place a kiss on my cheek.

-I don't know what you do with me Emma ... you are an angel who dominates my every thought ...

-Madam, this drink, I can't ...

-Shhh ...- he whispers on my lips-I bless the alcohol that makes me able to tell you these things ...

-Madam, please, you better rest ..- I say trying to get up but Jeanne takes my face with one of her hands and begins to approach my lips. Kindly I take her waist and move her body away from mine, I can't do it, not with Jeanne drunk, take advantage of her situation and my willpower is running out. She complains but I get up and she does too.

-You will not run away from my Emma ...

Jeanne Nizzari takes a step towards me and with one of her hands she lifts my chin, I feel her fingers run over my chin and cheek, I see her eyes shine and I am so surprised and nervous that I cannot react. He approaches his body to mine and grabs my waist with his hands, until without waiting for it his lips join mine and I can not continue fighting against it, his soft lips meet mine and immediately I reciprocate, I feel sensations that they run through my body while his hands travel down my back and waist, she takes possession of my lips more forcefully and holds me close to the wall of his room still with his lips covering every part of my mouth, my hands grab his jaw and if possible I attach her even more to me, Jeanne lets out a silent moan and continues to run her hands over my body, my thighs and my hips are her main entertainment and mine is her face. We are kissing for so long that I lose the feeling of space-time, it's only his kisses and mine, his body attached to me and his touches that drive me crazy.

When we run out of breath, our bodies breathe agitated and Jeanne Nizzari takes my chin in her hands.

-That was ... wonderful ....