His Past - Life As a Prince and Meeting Her

When Xing entered the guest room, Chenglie was leaning on the bed's headboard with his eyes on the book he was given previously . Xing went and sat on his lap and rested her head on his chest. Chenglie bent one of his knee and put one hand around her neck and another around her waist. She was bundled by him and could hear his heart beats.

"Mmm, comfortable", she said closing her eyes.

" Good", he said kissing her hair. She smells different he thought, more of agarwood, the expensive perfume in the kingdom. You always get the best, don't you! He smiled thinking.

He rubbed her belly gently, "Still hurts? ". He had read everything in that book and he understood what she might feel.

"Not much. Leave your hands here. It's warm", she placed her hand above his hand on her belly.

"Xing! You play the zither outstandingly well"

"Really? I only know five tunes. Sister taught me"

"Mmm"

"Do you play? "

"A little flute"

"You should play for me sometime"

"Sure"

" You are warm and comfortable"

"Good", he replied.

Xing suddenly looked at him and traced her hands on his face. Forehead, nose, cheeks, chin, lips ...

Wow! He is perfect! Growing up only made him more handsome and he was ethereal to begin with!

"You are perfect as always!", she sighed, " I wonder what happened to you in the past years to make your soul much darker!", she mumbled and then placed her head on his chest and went to sleep immediately.

Chenglie froze for a moment hearing what she said and then held her close to him and kissed her hair.

Oh, my dear Moon! Indeed I have gone dark! I always had darkness in me, and that's why I need you as the moon in my life!

Chenglie thought about his life so far. He was born the third prince of the Emperor and was extremely talented and brilliant even when he was young. His mother's family had a good influence in the court and so he was always treated well. He always had this cold and haughty attitude which was overlooked as he had the looks and talent to be that way. His other siblings and even officials were nice to him and Chenglie had a good life on the Palace. According to Palace rules, he would greet his mother once a day and the Empress to as she was the 'mother ' of every child of the Emperor according to their rules. That's as far as he had known the relationship between a mother and her son - greeting each other and eating with them occasionally and his father - Well he is their Imperial father and he should be respected and obeyed at all times and Siblings - just smile and greet when you meet them. That's the scope of what he had known about familial relations in the palace.

Then the crown prince who was extraordinary died and the whole atmosphere in the palace changed. Chenglie who tried to impress his mother tried hard to be the best in all his studies and became the best, incited the jealously of others especially the Empress who made his mother's life miserable in the inner palace. This was not noted by Chenglie whose only interest was getting better in all the skills and learning new things. Unknown to him, the things he did to impress his mother had been hurting her and the rift between them got wider. But he was always fawned over by everyone as he had the highest chance to become the next crown prince.

Chenglie always preferred to stay alone and he found a place in the palace where he won't be disturbed by others. It was a windy day when he found his ninth brother in this secret place. What he knew about him was that, He was always shy when he greeted him and he would look at him with twinkling eyes from afar sometimes.

But that day he saw him covered in dirt and scratches and he was panting as he had escaped from something. But when he saw him, his eyes had stars in them and he was overjoyed to meet him. Chenglie knew his mother died and he was adopted by the Empress and he was said to be a fool and useless. Chenglie didn't want to be involved with him but Junjie never let him go and followed him like a shadow everywhere in the following days. Somehow he got attached to that little brother who stalked him and he let him stay with him and taught him many things. He didn't seem like a fool to Chenglie and he felt like Junjie had depths to him. He had many hiding places and he would know all sorts of gossips around the palace and he would report it to his third brother. Chenglie found this little brother adorable. He became his only close relation in the palace.

Chenglie was titled 'Rui Wang' on his twelfth birthday which surprised many as they thought he would be given the 'Crown Prince' title. This caused stir in the court for sometime but Chenglie never cared and got on with his studies and teaching his little brother as usual.

But soon he had to leave the palace in shame. And that was when he realised the harsh reality of life - how those who had fawned over him in the past looked mockingly at him and gossiped about him. He learned from someone loyal to his maternal grandfather how the Empress and his family had schemed for all of this to happen. He understood how his mother was trapped in these schemes of everyone, even her own family and even he had hurt her by being too impressive and not attentive. He felt bad for Junjie who was in the Empress' clutches too. His heart filled with helplessness, anger and vengeance and he decided to take the throne by any means to protect his mother and brother.

As they travelled he came up with a plan as to how to ruin the entire inner palace so that only Junjie remains. He was smart and well educated and knew the gossips so it was easy for him to come up with a plan, but he should find ways to implement them and most of it needed a lot of money. Throughout the journey , attempts were made on their lives and somehow they escaped with their lives. He had to endure his mother's bickering and the other girl's fake concern.

When they reached the western mountains, he gave the excuse of relieving himself to take a walk. That's when he saw an unimaginable scene, beautiful as a painting. He saw a little girl, five or six years old wearing green padded clothes. She was small and cute with all the bundling up. Her hair was jet black, the same as his brother Junjie. In the snow her hands almost blended with the background. Her face was blushed pink and her eyes were dark like obsidian. She blended with the surroundings with green and white except her black hair. She was cheerfully playing with two white tiger cubs.

Chenglie's image of women were different. They smile in front of each other but trip them with their legs immediately and conspire against each others back. They smell weirdly and they get scared over a rat. They act one way in front of a man and another way before women. Their words drip honey but will be filled with hidden intents and also hide daggers. For the betterment of oneself, they'll sacrifice everything and everyone else.

So this sight of a girl playing with tigers in snow was different for him. She was happy with no care in the world. She looked like a moon on a dark night sky, bright and cheerful. He wanted to join her, not only because of the tigers but also to see her face closer. He imagined him and the girl running in the mountains laughing and live with no care. What a life that would be, he thought.

Just then the mother tiger came from behind her. He gripped the hilt of his sword. Surely he cannot win against a grown tiger, but he had to save her. Just when he was about to move, the girl turned and pounced at the tiger and both of them started playing rolling in the snow.

Impressive!

That scene got etched in his heart and he wanted to paint that moment on paper so it would last for centuries. For some reason he felt a pull towards her, some unknown connection with her, like he wanted to grab her hands and take her with him.

Then reality hit him. Take her? Where? Back to the palace? To that place? The place that changed his mother and is filled with all things unholy to the brim? No way! She is better here where she knows no evil or any schemes where people who you call mother, make you suffer intolerable cruelties and where there is no loyality.

May be.. Just May be.. After I become Emperor I will come and find you to see how you are doing.

Chenglie decided in his heart and went back to the boring carriage ride. He closed his eyes and that girl's image popped in his eyes. Is this maybe the first love poets wrote about? Too bad it has no hope.

I'm not even sure if she is real!

Suddenly the carriage shook and came to a halt. Obviously it should be a trap as he saw the driver escaping. His mother started swearing at him in panic. He sighed and left the carriage. The first thing that caught his eye was that girl again. She was at a distance, trying to hide behind a bush, but her dark hair contrasted the snow.

I should be hallucinating, he thought.

Chenglie looked carefully to find the assassins. He counted fifteen of them. Suddenly arrows flew towards him. He knew it was to flush everyone out of the carriage. He slashed the arrows and that's when he saw the panicked girl, about to move.

She's real! He cannot hide his happiness and it was expressed as a smile in his lips. But the assassins may see her!

So he signaled her to quietly hide back. She seemed to understand him and kneeled back. Good, now he can show off. Although he's good with swords, he is still a twelve year old with no actual combat experience and him against fifteen is clearly an unfair match. But the thought of her watching and the fact that she might be gotten rid of if she was discovered by the assassins, gave him a burst of energy and he wanted to live.

Even though the slashes he got were not deep, it still hurt. But he cannot give up. That's when the girl with him was killed and his mother started cursing. He thought for a moment that his mother was cursing the assassins, seeing him getting hurt. His heart was filled with joy and he told his mother to calm down since he had it all in control. Even he didn't know how he had gotten rid of all those assassins. That's when his mother looked at him with a scornful and spiteful face and said "... Only if you die". He saw his mother being stabbed and he killed that assasin before trying to hold his mother and she said again, "If only you were dead". He froze and the surroundings blackened in his view.

Mother! You saw your son bleeding before you, trying to protect you and this is what you say? Mother, no matter how much your words hurt me, I still love you! But did you ever love me? Is this your last word for me? Is this how you truly feel? Maybe it's true! I deserve to die as I am responsible for all this. I should give up.

As he was about to give up, he heard a voice, so soft, so full of care, "Don't die". She saw the girl running towards him and pointed behind him. He unknowingly picked his sword and killed the man behind him.

She wants him alive! Someone wants him alive!

The darkness around him disappeared and she looked like a moon. A smile came to his face seeing the girls panicked face running towards him. He wanted to hold her tight and never let go. But his body felt heavy and his eyes closed.

The next thing he remembered was he was lying on his belly over something white and soft. He seems moving. The white thing has black stripes? Is that girl carrying him on that tiger? Does she think tigers eat grass? A bloody person carried by a tiger? Impossible, isn't it?

That's right, I'm hallucinating again.