Prologue–I was never yours

It was one starry night when I saw him, again. After all these years, still, you left me broke into pieces. You left me those questions, unanswered. I have so many 'what ifs' since the day you chose her.

Why we didn't take the same roads. Why some people are not meant to be chosen? People who knows how to love are hurt because they thought the person they love could be able to love them back. And then, when someone loves you back, they'll leave like they didn't taught you how to come out from your shell.

How can I move on when I'm still into someone who wasn't even mine in the first place? Being stuck in the past is not easy. Up until now, my past is still haunting me. I live today to die tomorrow. Forget yesterday and focus on today. As the day goes by, I don't know what was the main reason why I'm still alive.

I'm so numb for all the pain. Does everyone requires to be hurt? Pain is rather a blessing or a karma, they say.

However, the more I felt happiness like I'm on the peak of the mountain, sadness and pain will exchange like you're on the depths of the hell.

He smiled. I didn't. He's taking his steps now, towards me. Until we're inches away from each other.

Awkward.

It was just only the two of us. Facing each other like it was just the first time that we've meet. It ain't easy, right?

"Hi." he greeted. I remained my default face and pretended it's okay for me to see him, again.

"What a coincidence." he added. He seems so confident, isn't he?

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

He shook his head and tried to smile. "Well, this place is not yours. Anyone can visit. Anyone can leave. Anyone—"

"Like how you left me?" I meddled.

I caught him off guard because his expressions suddenly changed.

"It's not what you think it is, Wednesday." he said. I can see regrets and sadness in his eyes. But he has his pride. I didn't even hear him say 'I'm sorry' to me. Until now.

"It is, Tiyago." I straightly looked into his eyes. "You replaced me." I added.

We were silent for a moment. Like he was thinking what he'll reply.

"How can I replace you when in the first place, I didn't own you."

I was astounded. "How can you replace me when in the first place, I'm not even yours and you were never mine? Is that it? I thought you let me own your heart. But I was wrong." I felt a lump on my throat when words came out from my mouth. My tears are starting to fall. I'm trying to hold it back. I will not show any weaknesses again, especially on him.

"It was never you, Wednesday. It's always been her."

Yes. That's one of my hundreds of question, unanswered.

When it comes to love, I can't win.

Why her, not me?

****