worries

They say when you loose all hope, that's when you stoop the lowest. Maybe, that's what happened that night. Being poked, hurt, frustrated, I in turn did the worst. I hurt him. Never ment to, but I did hurt him.

Wei, if I could apologise, I would. But, you aren't here...

Are you?

"You know Lan Zhan, if you do like Mian Mian, maybe you could date her? Hey, are you allowed to date someone? Wow, imagine the great Lan Zhan and a beauty, what a scenario" he laughs and every time he makes fun of me, it's hurts me.

So much.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I scream within me, but he keeps laughing. You're hurting me. Unable to bare his incessant remarks, with not much thoughts, I bend down and bite his arm.

(A/n: Yup in the book Lan Zhan bites Wei's arm)

He screams in pain and for some reason I don't relent. It's only when I taste the metalic tinge that I let him go and he immediately backs away.

"What's wrong with you Lan Zhan?" He screams and I am too tired to answer him. He finally realises that I am in no mood for his provocation and I surely wasn't in any mood.

As he sulks, I soon start to feel bad. He did save my life and I... I bite him. Lan Zhan, what you did was terrible. If uncle was present here he'd flog you and Gege would be so disappointed in you.

Sighing inwardly, I look at his face. They are marred with worry and pain. I eye his wounds and it hurts me to see him marked. "Thank you" I blurt out and he looks at me "for saving me and" I pause to show him my sincerity "I am sorry, I shouldn't have done what I just did".

"It's alright Lan Zhan, you don't have to kneel" he smiles kindly.

How can you still smile after what I did?

Thinking that it's safe to approach me, he sits by my side once again, shoulder to shoulder but he does not dare tease me again.

Good. Good.

"Lan Zhan, don't worry Jiang Cheng will soon find help and he'll be back for us, in the meanwhile, any idea on how to deal with the monster?"

"Does that beast look like a monster to you?" I question and he looks into my eyes.

"What? Come to think of it, it does look like half snake half tortoise" he comments and I agree.

"Thats divine beast Xuanwu" I state and his eyes widen "What?"

"Not the actual divine beast but the one that was tried to be recreated and was not successful. It was recreated about 400 years ago but then when it turned out to be defective, it was abandoned"

"So where where has it been for all these years? Hibernation?" He questions and I nod "Yes, it did create havoc once upon a time but then was never to be found again. Seems it settled down here" we both turn to look at the place from where we entered.

He shivers.

"Feeling cold?" I ask and his eyes warm and shakes his head, trying to cheer me he smiles "Don't worry Lan Zhan, Jiang Cheng will definitely get help, Yunmeng is far but he will get help from Gusu" and at that my heart sinks.

"They won't come" I whisper.

"Why?"

"Everything is gone. Everything is burnt down" my voice is almost non existent.

I hear a faint gasp and then his innocent question "Your Uncle? Brother?"

My eyes start to blur "Uncle's heavily injured and brother" I pause unable to complete my sentence, bowing my head down, the burden and heartache of last few days drain on me and a rouge tear falls down "brother is missing" I am unable to stop my tears.

Brother is the only one that I can rely on. He's been the only family that I have and if I were to loose him too, then this life would have no meaning. From the time I opened my eyes, it's always been him. His warmth, his smile, him ruffling my hair and playing his 'Liebing' for me. Him teaching me everything I know and here I am, unable to do anything for him.

Brother, I am sorry. Hope wherever you are, you're safe. I promise, once I get out of here, I'll come for you. Please stay strong. Please. Please don't take him away from me. Please.

"Lan Zhan" he calls my name and noticing his tone, I am sure he would want to joke around.

"Shut up, Wei"

"Sorry" he murmurs and I can hear him ruffle something "I just wanted to ask you, if you need my undergarments? I know you'd find them gross but you Gusu clan are very particular about cleanliness and" he pauses "and your sick" he trails off.

Not having any energy to argue, I don't even glance at him. Bring prompt at sleeping and waking up on time, I lean back and close my eyes. Soon I feel bring enveloped in warmth, I can sense him wrapping his robe against me. That's the last I see of him for the next few days.

He doesn't disturb me and I am glad for it. Torn between wanting to go back and help my brother, frustrated that I am stuck here and him... Him being there, hurting me where I can understand that he's not at fault, for I myself am not able to understand why my heart is paining, this place has me out of my wits.

The fourth day he came back.

He sat beside me as if nothing happened. Which was good cause I was starting to worry for him. He quietly sat beside me, checked up on my wounds and kept the area of my leg clean. Slowly I regained my strength and we did scout around the cave for another exit but to no avail.

"Lan Zhan" he calls my name and I gaze into his warm eyes unlike my light one "We can't sit here and do nothing, we must fight that beast! Shall we fight him?" He enquires and I agree.

,

Something is better than nothing.

Gathering all our tools, the discarded bows and other such ammunition, we set ourselves for another battle.

"Wei, it won't be easy" my voice is calm but my heart thunders. Be careful.

"Worries about me Lan Zhan?" He winks.

Looking away I comment "Shameless" and he laughs.

Yeah we're close to a battle with the beast. Plus I really feel so sad for Lan Zhan, no doubt he's with Wei but his heart is so in tatters. I hope Xi Chen is truly alright.

Wei and stop provoking Lan Zhan!!!

thank you so much reading

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