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HINDI masyadong nakatulog si Gabriel dahil sa presensya ni Maribel sa tabi niya. She nursed him hanggang sa bumalik sa normal ang pakiramdam niya.

Pinagmasdan niya ito habang natutulog. She's still sitting on the chair habang ang balikat at ulo nito ay nakabulagta sa kama. Her left arm extended. Inabot niya ang kamay nito at muling dinamdam.

Her soft hands felt so tiny as if it would crush anytime.

Kagabi lang ay hawak-hawak nito ang kamay niya hanggang sa nakatulog ito. May naramdaman siyang kakaiba sa tuwing nagkakalapit ang mga balat nila. The thought of it scared him.

Agad niyang binitawan iyon at winaksi ang iniisip pero hindi niya inalis ang tingin sa dalaga

He admits, her bravery amused him. Ito lang ang taong nanatili sa tabi niya pagkatapos niyang sigawan at labanan. His nurses got tired and scared of him easily. They judge at first sight and doubt if they can handle him. Konting panghahagis at pambabasag lang niya, napapaiyak agad sa takot ang iba, minsan naman hinahamon na lang siya ng suntukan dahil sa nakakaubos niyang pasensiyang asal.

Kinumutan niya ito at binaling ang tingin sa labas ng bintana. Tumila na ang malakas na ulan at palabas na ang haring araw. Another day has come.

Lalo siyang binabalot ng lihim sa bawat araw. Hanggang ngayon hindi niya alam kung kailan niya sasabihin kay Maribel ang katotohanan.

Lingid kaya sa kaalaman nitong Gilberto acknowledged her existence and sponsored her studies? Iiyak at kamumuhian kaya siya nito sa oras na malaman nitong siya ang dahilan kung bakit namatay ang ama nila?

He doesn't know the answer and he doesn't want to know.

Ilang araw na niyang minamanmanan ang dalaga. Sinadya niyang hindi magpakita rito para magawa niya ang imbestigasyon niya. Mula sa malayo, pinagmamasdan niya itong masayang nakikipagkwentuhan sa mag-asawa, tumutulong sa paghahanda ng pagkain at minsan ay naglilinis. Minsan ay nakatulala ito sa kawalan, tahimik at tila malalim ang iniiisip.

He was supposedly rooted with pain and anger pero bakit habang tumatagal iba ang nararamdaman niya sa tuwing tinitingnan niya ito?

Hindi niya magawang magalit ng husto sa anak sa labas ng ama niya. Was it normal? Should he accept the fact that he grew fondness of her overtime?

She is his sister after all. Although he assumed she got her physical features of her mother.

Napabuntong hininga siya. Nilisan niya ang kama at binuksan ang tanging drawer na naka-lock sa kwarto. Kinuha niya ang kwentas at muling tiningnan ang loob niyon. How old was she when this photo was taken? 9? 10? Her bob hair covered both sides of her face with a full smile. Hindi umabot sa mga mata ang ngiti nito. She must be sad during that shot or was she lonely after all?

Did she even had a happy life living alone?

He stared at her with full sympathy. His life would have been different if they grew up together. He wouldn't feel hollow even if his longing for his distant father grew deeper and his shrinking existence becomes apparent because he has someone to talk to, someone to share his frustrations with and woes in life. His mother's sudden silence made him inexistent, she shut in and barely supplies conversation.

Gilberto at his busiest schedule only visits them thrice a month. Ang mga kadalasang argumento ng mga magulang noong nasa Pilipinas ay unti-unting nabawasan hanggang sa naglaho nang lumipat sila sa America. He should be thankful about it, naging tahimik ang relasyon ng mga magulang niya. Sabay silang naghahapunan sa tuwing umuuwi ang ama, they'd discuss how their days had been. They would ask him how he's been and his studies like normal loving parents do. But his parents are not a couple, they never were.

As the days pass by, they converse like businessmen doing business deals and their marriage seemed like a contract to him. Despite all of that, he buried in his mind that his parent's affection towards him was real. Binuhay at pinag-aral siya ng mga ito. Inisip niyang hindi nagbago ang pagmamahal ng ama't ina niya sa kanya. At iyon nalang ang pinanghahawakan niya hanggang ngayon.

If he and Maribel grew up together he would have someone to take care of, someone he can divert his attention to. He wouldn't have rebelled and do crazy stuffs just to get his parent's attention. Maribel would be his father's favorite while he would be his mother's. They would always have got each other's back in times of trouble. They'd do their favorite activities, play, laugh and cry together like what most siblings do.

Binawi niya ang tingin.

But they don't belong to that "most". They grew apart from each other. Sharing his frustrations and woes to her would be his weakness. For him, talking and laughing with her is far unimaginable to happen because she's a stranger. A stranger who instantly wrecked his fortress.

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KINUSOT ko ang mga mata ko at nag-inat. Pinulot ko ang nalaglag na kumot sa sahig at muling binalot sa sarili.

Wala na si Gabriel sa kama niya ngunit nasa tapat ng bay view window. Nakapikit siya at dinadamdam ang sikat ng araw. Gusto ko sana siyang estorbohin at kausapin ngunit may parte sa isipan ko ang umawat sa akin.

He looked heavenly peaceful sitting on his chair. Ang dalawang kamay niya ay nakalaylay sa magkabilang panig. His black wavy hair turned brown. His cheeks and slightly parted lips were pinkish. Hindi na siya ganoon ka putla di gaya noong una ko siyang nakita. When I first saw him he looked exactly like every melancholic male character in movies - stubble faced, messy hair and piercing cruel eyes that could scare the shit out of anybody but yet there's still gentleness inside.

Mabait rin naman pala itong tingnan minsan, lalo na kapag tulog. His calmed face attributes reminded me of some European models shown on vogue magazine. For sure, Beth would have his photo stick up on her wall and day dream about him.

Dinala ko ang upuan sa tabi niya at umupo. Sinandal ko ang ulo sa sandalan sabay pikit. Dinamdam ko rin ang init. Naririnig ko ang tunog ng mga dahon sa punong kahoy na sinasayaw ng hangin at ang mga ibong kumakanta sa pagsalubong ng bukangliwayway.

I smiled. This is what I imagined mornings would be like when I become older.

Sunsets and sunrises have one thing in common – they're best felt and treasured when you're with someone mutual.

Tumikhim si Gabriel. "What are you doing?"

"Sinasamahan ka." Tipid kong sagot.

"You can go back to your room and have your own privacy."

Bakit ang aga-aga niyang nagsusungit?

Binaliwala ko siya.

Mayamaya narinig ko ang tunog ng gulong ng wheelchair niya. Nang iminulat ko na ang mga mata ko nakasara na ang pinto. Huminga ako ng malalim.

Wala na akong magagawa kung talagang ayaw niya sa presensya ko. Sa tingin ko, nagawa ko na ang lahat para maipakita ko sa kanya ang pasasalamat ko.

KINAHAPUNAN, napagpasyahan kong muling lumabas ng mansyon dahil nabagot ako. Hindi ko mahanap si Gabriel at ayaw ko ring magmukmok. Kagaya ng dati, hindi ako humingi ng permiso kay Aling Norma o Kay Mang Rolando.

Sinalubong ako ng malayang hangin nang narating ko na ang talahiban. The swaying golden stalks of the field, the cracking sound of the dry leaves I stepped on and the sound of the singing grasshoppers and summer cicadas all registered to my senses.

I ran the trail to the antique house. Pumunta ako sa bakuran nila para makita doon si Drew na naiinip na nakaupo sa tea table. His brown eyes soften when he saw me then his lips formed a curve. I pantingly smiled back and waved.

"Kanina pa ako naghihintay sa iyo." May halong galak at pagtatampo sa tinig nito. "Lumamig na ang champorado na niluto ni mama kanina."

"Nandito ba siya?"

Hinila niya ang bakanteng upuan at pinaupo ako.

"Kanina pa umalis. Kasama niya ang kapatid ko at si papa."

"Bakit hindi ka sumama?"

Sa halip na sumagot he started serving me. Binigyan niya ako ng mangkok na puno ng champorado. Iyon nga lang hindi na nga ito mainit. After serving me, nilagyan niya ang sariling mangkok.

"Sabi ko kasi sa kanila magkikita pa tayo." Ngumiti siya and kumindat. For whatever reason, biglang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. It was uncontrollable. Nagpatuloy siya sa pagsasalita pero wala akong marinig, all I can hear is a loud beating from within.

Kumurap ako at huminga nang malalim. I tried to act normal which I know I'm not good at doing. Kumain lang siya nang nagsimula na akong sumubo.

"My mom saw you yesterday. And I'm sorry kung-"

"Sorry para saan?"

"She doesn't like you that much."

Nagtatakang tumango-tango ako. I have no memory of meeting his mother, his sibling or his father kaya labis akong nagtaka. It must be part of my memory loss.

"My sibling had a bad impression of you and that influenced my mom. My sibling is spoiled. She's immature."

"It's all right. You can never please anyone." Natutuhan ko iyan noong nasa bahay ampunan pa ako. I was not pleasing and attractive enough to be adopted.

"Alam mo, nakalimutan ko ang itsura ng mga magulang at kapatid mo." Sabi ko sa kanya nang matapos na kaming kumain.

Tumayo siya at inilahad ang kamay niya. Inabot ko naman iyon at nagpahila. Dumaan kami sa pinto ng kusina nila at huminto sa gitna ng sala. Every décor and furniture in the house looked antique. Parang pinaglipasan ng mahabang panahon. When I turned to my left I saw a grand piano covered under white sheets.

"Antique collector ang ina ko. She's crazy about them. Isang haciendero naman ang tatay ko."

Napatingala ako sa malaking lawaran ng mga magulang niya sa ikalawang palapag. It was an open second floor. The picture lies between the two-way staircase of the house. Iyon ang unang makikita ng mga tao kapag pumasok sila sa bahay nito.

Both his parents must be of hispanic descent. Hindi na ako magtataka kung saan nakuha ni Drew ang kulay ng balat niya. His skin was like copper brown na parang laging nakabilad sa araw. He got his bushy round eyes from his mother at ang matangos na ilong ay sa ama. His body is also toned, hindi iyon maipagkakaila ng kahit na sino at pakiwari ko'y nag-aararo din ito sa bukid. Clean cut ang buhok na halatang laging minimintina. Sa height ko na 5'4 mas matangkad siya sa akin ng limang pulgada.

"And that's my sister." Sa kaliwang panig ng larawan ng mga magulang niya ay ang larawan ng isang napakagandang dilag, napakaputi nito, malayo sa kulay nilang tatlo.

"My mother had a few miscarriages before and later on found out that it's not suitable for her to bear a child anymore. At that time, she was obsessed with the idea of having her own daughter dahil sa ingit niya sa mga kaibigang may kanya-kanyang anak na babaeng dinadala sa party. Ako naman laging kasama ng tatay ko sa hacienda. She adopted her distant relative's daughter to fill her loneliness and desires. Limang taong gulang siya nang unang umapak dito. Mom spoiled her, fed her, and treated her like a princess forgetting his only son." Kwento niya, hindi parin inaalis ang mga mata sa portraits.

"Everyone learned to love her and I also did." Bumuntong hininga siya.

I gently rubbed his back to console him. Binalingan niya ako.

"Alam mo bang nababawasan ang kagwapuhan mo kapag nakasimangot ka?" I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing. I just want to see him smile again. Kapag nag-aalala o nakasimangot siya parang ibang tao ang kaharap ko, nababahala ako.

"Sa wakas, napansin mo rin ang kagwapohan ko. Noon pa ako nagpapa-cute sa iyo eh." He chuckled. I really adore his dimples. His dimples are indicators of his happiness, kusang lumalabas iyon sa tuwing tumatawa o ngumingiti siya. Pinakawalan ko ang tawang kanina pa pinipigilan.

"I feel guilty na mas pinili mong hintayin ako kaysa ang makasama ang pamilya mo. Masaya na siguro kayong nagba-bonding ngayon."

"Don't feel guilty. I was the one who decided to stay and wait for you."