Ambivalent
Megan sat in the dark car as it made the trip into the city. It was just past dark. Megan leaned over to the small bar and poured herself a small amount of liquor. The anxiety pill hadn't steadied her nerves enough to function.
She was about to sit back when she spied a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and an ashtray in the cabinet. She hadn't smoked in several years, but it felt like a good time to start back up. She lit one and coughed lightly through the first couple of drags before she adjusted.
After several more puffs Megan cracked the window. At the end of the cigarette, she felt a bit better or calmer at least. When she reached the city, she lit a second and by the time she was halfway through it the trembling in her hands had stopped. Megan pocketed the pack and the lighter so she could have it later.