Bittersweet Hallucination

"C'mon, Kayleigh." His breath on her skin made her shiver. "Open your eyes."

Finally opening her eyes, she gazed in his icy blue eyes. She was certain he kissed her... well, he technically kissed her eyelids. He smiled at her and his eyes drifted around. She allowed her eyes to drift as well and she gasped at what she saw. Everything was back to how it once was and it once again brought tears to her eyes.

"Please don't cry," he begged, probably noticing her tears.

She laughed as she wiped at her face. She wasn't even ashamed that she was crying again. "They're happy tears. This has to be a hallucination. This is what I needed." She gazed into his eyes again. "My grandma's cottage and garden intact. This means the world to me."

He sighed, reaching out to cup her cheeks. She felt his fingers brushing at her skin, wiping away her tears. "What will make you understand that this is all very real?"

She frowned at that question. If she took her medicine and they were still there, she would know the truth then. His eyes narrowed at that, studying her for a moment before he broke away from her. He raked a hand through his hair before he took a breath in and out.

"Fine, let's find your medicine then," he told her. She could tell he wasn't happy with this. She could almost feel he was withdrawing from her. She didn't like the coldness setting into her bones. "It's the only way, isn't it?"

When he started to walk away from her, there was fear -- all sorts of fear. There was fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, fear that she was indeed insane, and fear that it would break her to know for sure that none of this was real. Maybe she didn't want this psychotic break to shatter, but it wasn't healthy to live in this state of delusion any longer.

He was getting further and further away from her. Panic set in within her. Her anxiety rose. "I'm diagnosed a nutcase. I-I don't trust myself. The moment I stopped taking medicine this happens."

He turned to her. "I've waited for you to show up for five years, Kayleigh. Five years. Everybody else found their twin flame except me and I hadn't heard your voice for five years."

"Five years ago, my grandma died and I didn't know why--"

"She died saving you, Kayleigh, can't you see that?" he cut in. "She died saving you from them. Tell me, what did your grandma think of you hearing these voices?"

She swallowed. She knew exactly what her grandma had said... and so did he. She knew he did. He was a figment in her imagination. He would only know what she knew. He shook his head as he started to walk away again. She rushed after him. Why couldn't he understand where she was coming from?

"It's not that easy for me!" she cried out, causing him to stop for a moment. "I'm broken. There's something really wrong with me and..." She swallowed thickly as she tried to voice her hopes. "I'm sick. I need help."

He sighed, shaking his head. He didn't turn around. Please don't leave me just yet, she thought to herself. He finally turned back around to face her and her heart was in her throat. He really was all sorts of ridiculously beautiful even when he was sad and frustrated with her. Why did her psyche create such a crazy out of her league guy? Was it to torture her with things she clearly couldn't have?

Real life Kayleigh wouldn't have someone like that in life. Everybody was disgusted by her and thought she was a murder her. Once she took her medicine, they'd disappear and she'd be left alone to deal with her life. Her savage reality was sadistic, but she wasn't a fool even now.

In real life, Chance wasn't real, because he was her dream guy. He was everything she wished she could have in a guy and she'd never admit it aloud.

"How about we just get your medicine and tackle one thing at a time?" His voice suggested, bringing her out of her thoughts.

There was this strange look in his eyes that she didn't quite understand. It was time to face reality once again and she nodded her head in agreement. They walked in sync back down the trail without saying another word.

~

"So how did it--"

Chance immediately cut off Kasper, "She needs to get her meds."

"Meds?" Kasper asked in confusion. His eyes widened in realization. "Her crazy pills?"

Arcadia immediately elbowed Kasper in his ribs and he grunted at the impact. Fallon smirked at the two before his eyes drifted to Kayleigh and she felt the eyes of the others on her as well.

"She's still convinced we're not real," Chance explained with a shrug, but Kayleigh knew he was far from serenely calm. He was more the calm before the storm. "She believes if she takes her meds we will all disappear."

Rose's eyebrows raised and her innocent doe eyes widened. "Oh, that's going to be..."

"A rude awakening," Kasper blurted out. He grabbed Arcadia's arm before she could elbow him again. "It is. I'm stating facts here," he grumbled to Arcadia. His eyes went to Kayleigh. "What happens when you take your meds and we're all here?"

"You won't be," she said evenly. "You can't be."

"Why not?" Eli asked as he drew a shuffling Rose into his arms to keep her calm. "Why can't we be real?"

Tears were on her eyelashes as she shook her head. "Because nothing good ever comes to me. When it does, it gets taken away from me."

Everybody stilled at her confession. It was true. Everything good in her life was ripped from her. Her grandma was gone and she was probably the one to murder her due to a psychotic break. She dreamed up a connection with people that she admired and inspired her, but she knew they'd never befriend or care about her in real life. Everybody thought the worst in her... and so did she.

She pushed through the group to get inside. Nobody stopped her. They were here, because they had to be fragments of her. She heard about that before. When something traumatic happens, the mind tries to protect themselves from the memory. She rushed upstairs to find the bag with her medicine in it.

Fumbling with the bag, she quickly took out the medicine bottle and unscrewed the lid. Her eyes flicked to the icy blue eyes watching her as she carefully plucked out some pills. She went into the kitchen, found a cup, and filled it with water. None of the others had followed her up. It was only Chance.

She walked over to him. Confusion laced into the frown, marring his beautiful face. He shouldn't be so upset. Tears slipped down her cheeks. If this was the last time she would ever see him, she needed to know what it felt like.

Leaning up on her tiptoes with both pills and cup of water in her hand, she gently pressed her lips against his. She felt him freeze against her for a moment. Her lips tingled at the slight contact. She gasped when his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling snug against him. His mouth moved against hers. The sparks ignited, traveling up and down her body. Energy hummed. An innocent kiss turned passionate quickly and her heart thudded in her chest like a trapped bird in a cage.

She forced herself to pull back and step away from him.

"I wish you were real," she murmured and his eyes opened at her words. His icy blue eyes hardened. "I don't want to be alone anymore."

"Take the pills," he told her gruffly.

Even he was getting impatient with her, she stepped further away from him. Hurt coiled within her at his obvious rejection and abandonment. She spun away from him to face the kitchen sink. She still saw him in the reflection of the kitchen window.

She took a deep breath. She put the pills in her mouth and took a gulp of water all the while watching him watching her in the reflection. She swallowed down the pills. She didn't have the heart to watch him disappear so she put her cup in the sink and walked into her bedroom.

She didn't even bother changing her clothes. All she wanted was to go to sleep. When she awoke, she knew they'd be gone. She burrowed into her duvet and cried herself asleep.