The Rice field welcomes me

2018, 2:09 PM, Realm: 281-346-713-832, Texas, Houston

Aaah~ smoking that blunt in the night was a bad idea.

I'm literally floating naked right now in an empty space, and why the fuck is Joji standing before me here with his "Real Frank" robes, doesn't he have a music career now?

"Look pal, here's the deal, I'm gonna give you 3 wishes and transfer all of my Powers to you. Why? cuz I'm fucking bored of this all-powerful gig. I'm gonna make some depressing and edgy music instead". Aaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy LES GO

"The mantle of "Filth" is now yours and you can do whatever the fuck you want, I don't care if you wanna have a harem populated by millions of women, won't be even batting an eye if you wanna destroy the anime multiverse, so hurry and wish away."

Wait, what in the name of holy name Big Chungus is this shit. Okay, deep breaths , deep breaths and lets try to accept the current situation.

"Woah! Dude! that's a lot to take in. One night you're smoking weed and the next, you get summoned by an all-powerful Cosmi-","Omniversal" "Oh sorry, damn! didn't know you were that powerful"

"So, you're wishes?", Frank reminded me, "The generic System maybe?" he offered. Nah, that shit is

"Nope, Nope, nay, nada. The concept and general idea of an overpowered system is too overrated for me, just a status page and a simple analysis skill would be enough for my first, as you have already blessed me with you awesome powers"

"Ah stop!~ you're making me blush man" (No homo), "And~~~~~~~~ granted!." as he said this, a white aura or somethin enveloped me, "Oh, don't worry about that, its just the CGi that comes with wish granting" whew, that surprised me.

"Now, onto your second wish".

"Wait, let me think a bit. Ah! how about nobody from your Omniverse can interfere with me "

"That's actually a pretty good wish, the losers always wish for the "sharingan" or some other edgelord sasuke wannabe shit, pretty good choice bro.", "Thanks man", " And~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wish successfully granted once more. Now state your final request"

"Now that the power side is finished, how about aesthetics now. wait, there's absolutely zero need for that shit, I'm already basically Shaggy in terms of power for fuck's sake, i can change into whatever and whoever the fuck I want. You have shapeshifting right?"

"Duh, nigh-omnipotence!"

"Sorry, I get a bit retarded at times, I'm not Light fucking Yagami y'know."

"Damn right you aren't that sissy bitch dude, you're gonna be me with some addons, so enjoy your trip into the Omniverse!"

Frank then Thanos snapped and everything went black.

Get ready you sissy webnovel MC Fucks, cuz I'm gonna come and fuck your lives all ove-

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AN: And~~~~ cut! guys, remember, anyone who even utters the word "harem" will be forever cursed by me to burn in Brimstone and Sulfur.