Learn From a God

I wish I could change my life for the better, perhaps when I reach the end of my journey I can tell you how to forget that feeling. -Frieden Mer, Journal of a Thousand Journeys.

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After Iphla finished her story I sat there thinking. So many emotions ranging from the mischievousness of a child to the betrayal of a childhood friend and the fog of war. 'I don't know exactly what I would do in Iphla's situation. Forgive Frieden? Hold on to that hate? Forget Everything?'

"Why did you forgive Frieden?" I couldn't hold on anymore, I had to know what she truly thought of her old friend.

"Hmmmm, there are lots of complications surrounding why I forgave her." She started flipping through the book, "But I couldn't hold on to hate for something a 10-year-old did, when put in perspective these actions weren't done by a fully grown adult who had emotional maturity, but a 10-year-old who tried to run away to reach her goals."

"You wanted to hold on to your past, you didn't want to forget," I said directly.

She thought for a moment, "No, if I were to hold on to my past I would hold on to that hate, instead, I was embracing the present, the present Frieden."

The words she told me that evening I clung on to, for they would become hope that I could have to push me forward. 'Maybe the world can see a changed me after all, if Iphla can see good in a friend that betrayed her, could the world see good in me?'

I finished up my cleaning and headed out, but before that Iphla stopped me, "You were lovely to talk to Andromeda, please come over again when you have time!"

After helping Iphla, I went on to the other houses for that evening. After doing four more houses I was done, I had to go back to the church to report what the elders required food-wise. I followed Chloris back to a building next to the church that handled all the food, there I left my lists for each house.

I headed back to the church looking for Cleo, I saw her in the main hall meditating once again. I walked up to her expecting a reaction like last time, but as I approached she didn't respond. She stayed perfectly still except for her controlled breath. Every inhale was followed by an exhale roughly half a minute later. I sat next to her mesmerized by the perfectly controlled breath. After a few minutes of her not responding, I decided to join her. I sat on my legs with my hands resting on them, I began to control my breath.

To fully immerse myself I had to focus on something, I tried to focus on the sound of humming in the distance, 'perhaps it was muffled voices in the distance' I thought. But after a while I got distracted again, I tried again, yet failed. I tried to focus on my heartbeat, but the stage feeling of my heart cause me to panic. I became frustrated and threw my body on the ground. I closed my eyes accepting defeat, but something strange happened. I found myself focusing on Cleo's breathing.

Her breathing dragged me along and that's when I got the idea. I went back into position and started once again. This time I focused on my own breath. I focused on the feeling of breathing on my nose, that feeling I delve deeper into until it was the only thought I had, that feeling of the breath in my nose.

I heard a voice in my head, "Good daughter, feel those feelings let the drag." Eleusis began to pull me into her world. Colors once again flooded my consciousness like last night. "You did well to follow her breathing to begin meditation."

I stood up to bow to her, "Thank you, mother." I placed my right palm on my left fist and took a shallow bow of respect. I saw the sisters do this earlier to the elders and Cleo.

Eleusis nodded in approval, "Before we begin our magic training for today, let us meditate focusing on the breath the first step to self-awareness and mindfulness."

"Yes!" I smiled enthusiastically. I was about to sit back down on my legs when Eleusis stopped me.

"You don't have to sit the same way as Cleo," She sat down herself, "Sit the way that makes you the most comfortable, for Cleo, sitting like that is the most comfortable for her, but for others, it might be something different."

I sat with my legs crisscrossed, but still not feeling comfortable enough I loosen it a bit and it felt alright for now. "This feels alright for now," I told Eleusis.

"Let us begin," Eleusis figure disappeared from the realm. "Begin by closing your eyes," her soft voice appeared in my mind, it was as calm as the breeze in the morning.

I followed her instructions, "Start by taking a deep breath." I began to inhale, "Good now hold it for a bit," I held in the breath for a few seconds, "Now Exhale for longer than you breathed for." Slowing my exhale I listened to her instructions to the best of my ability, but I failed. "Let us try again. The Inhale should be half the pause while the exhale should be a bit longer than the pause."

I repeat this process a bit slowly with each time getting better and better. "Now for the next minute, I want you to focus on the feeling of breath. Try the lungs or nose, like what you did before."

I try to focus on my lungs this time, for every inhale I could feel the expansion of my lungs, and as I paused my breath I could feel a slight strain. When I exhaled it felt soothing, like a weight being lifted. I focus on this part for the minute getting lost in the feeling. " Now let your breath come to its natural pace, just let it come and go as it pleases, but still focus on that feeling of breathing."

I let my breath fall into its natural pace, but still slower than usual. I focus in on the feeling for the lungs with every breath again, but after a bit my mind began to wonder 'I wonder what Cleo is doing? Did sh- Crap I lost track!'

The goddess giggled in my ears, "Don't worry if you wander too far, just come back to the path dear. Keep this up for the next five minutes."

I continue with my meditation, every once in a while I began to drift, but this time I would try to come back to my breath.

"Very Good!" The goddess interrupted me, "It has been five minutes let us come back to our open mind to begin magic!"

I open my eye and stand up, I feel different though like my mind is stronger. The power of magic flowing through me has become clearer.

"Good job on noticing the differences between the before and after!" Eleusis said with cheer, "Us magician, whether it be gods, warlocks, swordbearers, maguses, paladins, pathfinders, or whatever specialization you choose, we all must strengthen not only our body but our consciousness as well, for it holds our Realm of Enlightenment; our magic capacity, our magical source."

"So, as I grow my mind, I grow my magic?"

"Yes," She said very simply.

Looking at my fist, I could sense the bit of magic emanated from it. I was now determined to master this, I clench my fists, "Let's do this!" I look at her straight in the eyes.

She nodded in satisfaction, "Okay let us continue," she clapped her hands two times and the scene changed. We were now standing in an open grass field, with a stream in the scene along with mountains in the distance. Noticing my distracted gaze she corrected me, "Focus, its time to learn control over magic."

"Ah sorry," I scratched my back.

She held out her hand, "I want you to pour magic into your fingers and control it above your palm." She did a demonstration, she pour magic out forming a red ball that looked like it was pulled out of her realm, as if she was painting a scene in front of me.

I held out my hand as if I was holding a ball and began to pour magic into my fingers. I begin to feel it in my fingers, but since nothing was coming into my palm I pour more in but then I felt something.

"Ahhhhh," My fingers began to scream in pain.